Senior Manager comments sent to me by mistake

This.
id tell HR aswell tbh. It’s inappropriate language. Unprofessional at best!

If you actually read my advice, you’ll see that it is about OP asking for ADVICE on how to manage a very tricky professional challenge, which HR are best placed to advise on. She’s not raising a complaint, she’s not asking HR to sort it out, she’s asking how she should manage it herself. IF she has a good HR department, they’ll make a mental log of the situation and keep it on their radar. How do you know other people haven’t come forward to complain about similar behaviour? He could have a full roster of similar situations against him - if HR aren’t aware, how are they meant to support?
This is how poor leadership behaviours fester creating toxic work environments.

So thank you for your assumption that I must be junior or new to HR - neither are true and I’d suggest you read and think about other’s posts more thoroughly before making assertions on their qualifications and credibility to provide an informed view.

Yep! I’d be sending back cc-ing your manger asking them to clarify why you need reigning in!

As a battle-scarred veteran of corporate life, I agree with your husband here. But I would also save (and print) a copy just in case things escalate further down the line. You never know when HR will ask for evidence of poor behaviour.

Because you don't understand that trying to bollock or get bollocked a more senior manager will endanger your career, I presume.

This really isn't how HR ( usually) operate

Why do you assume that?

If that's your advice I can only assume that you're new or very junior

I'd say nothing and give nothing away.

She will have to give feedback to her manager otherwise her manager will think she hasn’t done as she was asked.

Equally her manager needs to know that senior manager is resistant. If it’s an important issue for the company the manager may need to escalate the issue elsewhere.

I'd say nothing and give nothing away. Framed one way, they could actually be doing you a favour - maybe on this occasion you do need to be heard and listened to, so that your concerns are less. Maybe this is in the interest of the project and org.

I'd mentally mark that manager though & save that email though for future use if needed.

There is some terrible advice on this thread!! Blimey some of you would have op ruin her professional reputation over something that yes does sting but is completely minor and not personal.

I like the idea of innocently asking your manager how they would take it. Or just update your manager that yes you're speaking to these people but they seem a bit resistant, and let your manager know after you had the meeting.

Bottom line is your manager asked you to do something and the person you contacted can’t be arsed - it’s a comment on the issue rather than you specifically.

I would just FW it to your manager only and say it seems they don’t want to be bothered with it and leave it with her.

Bottom line is your manager asked you to do something and the person you contacted can’t be arsed - it’s a comment on the issue rather than you specifically.

I would just FW it to your manager only and say it seems they don’t want to be bothered with the issue a leave it with her.

Meh, totally normal language in my work place. Clearly they have different views of what is needed and they need to get aligned. I think it’s important to remove emotion, which this does.

I would try to avoid taking this personally.

Your manager asked you to poke someone else's team to get something done. They are responding but perhaps slightly reluctantly. That may be exactly what your manager expected, and you may achieve exactly what they expected / wanted to. It just wasn't as friendly as you'd hoped.

Let your boss know, and check out whether they want you to raise a problem, or just keep gently pushing to achieve what your team needs. This may just be part of your job. Different groups are often protective of their resources.

It's disrespectful, but let's not pretend those sorts of emails are unusual from certain types of managers, the unusual bit is that you were copied in. Take it as (blunt) feedback, that your approach isn't landing well with this team. I don't think you have anything to gain from escalating it. I wouldn't respond to the email, but would bring it up when you meet with the colleague. It's quite likely they bring it up or apologise themselves, but if not, you could raise it "I realise I was copied into that email by mistake, which was awkward, but I take it that manager X wants to take a different approach with the stakeholders..." If you don't mention it it risks becoming an elephant in the room.

I second this

I quite enjoy getting this sort of information - it happens more than you'd expect, but most people don't scroll down to check!

I wouldn't feel shit: I think it's really important to be able to cope with workplace feedback, however you get it, and even if it's brutal.

It's unclear whether the email means you or what you are involved with, also.

I'd leave it for now, but have it in my back pocket as a wider awareness of perhaps the situation, or how I am coming across. Take it as learning!

Forward to HR, CC the idiot. Just write: Please could you put some time in with this one and explain professionalism. Needs reining in. Please also forward me the grievance procedure. Kind regards.

Not really. I'd be tempted though. Really I'd just raise with your manager.

Yep I completely agree. I head up a change function and had one horrendously dramatic team member who wouldn’t let the smallest thing go - the project was her one and only thing to worry about, I had another 50 my boss another 100 things and so on but she wanted attention constantly. She’d make sweeping comments about departments being broken, no one caring but her. Exhausting.

So could be that, could be he’s a knob, could be that he doesn’t like any criticism- whatever it is you need to manage him so I’d speak to him. It doesn’t strike me as a sexist comment.

Take a day to feel your feelings, then reframe this to what it actually is - intel and insight.

We rarely get to hear what other people truly think of us - mostly because it’s none of our business. But now you know, think about how you can take the feedback on board when interacting with this person so shift his perspective.

A lot depends on the specific corporate culture here and the nature/context of the project.

The apparent issue with Put some time in with her will you so she feels listened to is that it focuses exclusively on managing your (or more broadly, project management's) feelings rather than identifying and solving problems or improving two- way communication and making sure there's a common understanding between project management (you) and the specific stakeholder (sr. manager's department) so that the project can move forward and be successful. It may just be poor wording. It may be that your communication came out of the blue and therefore the sr manager is dealing with it as a distraction for now since he wasn't formally asked/didn't agree to allocate resources to your project. But it may also hint that this project (or aspects of it) may be important to the organisation/has high-level backers that the sr manager doesn't want to risk provoking or challenging, but may be either a low priority or undesirable from this particular stakeholder's perspective.

DON'T take this email personally or let it dent your confidence. No one is saying that YOU are doing a bad job, just (at most) that they don't want to fully engage at this time. Your receiving this email gives you a piece of information and insight that you weren't intended to have (and the sr manager and the colleague who replied may not even know you have). Keep it, document it, use it to your advantage if you can. I'd keep quiet about the email for now and plan to attend the meeting and see what happens. I'd let your boss (as he specifically referred you to this sr manager) know what happened but approach it not as "should I be insulted?" but "should I be concerned that the project is not being taken seriously/that Sr. Manager's department may not share our goals and may just be giving lip service?" Be clear that you have a plan, and just want to check in case there's some context or info you're missing.

As a side note, what the sr manager wrote and more importantly the fact that the junior colleague "accidentally" copied you COULD be significant and could even be an HR issue if it's part of a larger pattern - not because it's explicitly and obviously wrong but because it comes across as incompetent. If these people are being so careless in their communications with you, what's to stop them from accidentally sending something inappropriate/potentially offensive to a client? Letting your boss know that this has happened also gives you proper guidance here in case you're in a corporate culture where you would be expected to report this or to let the sender know you received it in error.

Take the money, do the job, don't make it personal. Me,I couldn't be arsed to escalate this very short off the cuff remark. For one thing, while you know what you'd mean by reining in, you don't know what the author means. He might just be bad with words. Also, consider whether you do in fact need to be encouraged to slow down a bit. None of us are perfect.

I absolutely read this as the Senior Manager of the other team is sorry at rhe way things have been for you on this project and thinks the situation needs reining in.
The only thing to do is do nothing. Any response makes you look unprofessional not to mention a little unhinged

I think the source of the problem may be your own manager who agreed you should send an email about issues with stakeholders. The senior manager on seeing this may have thought what’s going on here and predicted a hornets’ nest being stirred up.

His phrasing wasn’t great but it was probably an off the cuff instruction to a member of his team to understand what was going on before any further action might have been taken.

the fact that this has happened actually points to issues with the way the project is being run. Issues with stakeholders shouldn’t really be raised in this way by email. In fact email isnt a great way to raise any issues unless urgent.

I agree this sounds professional and clear.

This is why I never write anything like this in an e-mail, even to someone I trust. It’s too likely that things will be shared. All they needed to write was ‘put some time in’, none of the rest is necessary. Anything more sensitive can be discussed in person if it’s needed.