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A genuine or accidentally-on-purpose email sent by mistake?

337 replies

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 19:50

Yesterday I saw that DH received a what appears to be obviously an accidental email from a former, younger female employee. The email was addressed to a group, staring 'hi all,' and from what I could see, was all about writing content for a website. Nothing to do with what DH does. DH just left the email, didn't reply, and went back to his inbox. He never mentioned it to me, but why would he? A silly accidental email is no piece of news really...

This employee left the company after an internship with my DH's business last summer.

As a bit of background, most of DH's work was from home, so he didn't see this woman in person all that often.

I used to suspect that DH was a bit too chatty and familiar with this young woman, although he never contacted her inappropriately outside of work. I met her several times when I went with DH to the office, and he always seemed smily and enthralled with her and what she was saying, which I did have words with him about, and he did later tone this down.

I wonder whether this girl 'accidentally on purpose' sent this email, in an attempt to strike up a conversation with DH? If so, would it be worth me telling DH to block her? I did used to wonder whether she liked the attention he gave her before I had words with him (she seems like the kind of young woman who would like attention, always dressed immaculately and hair styled etc). I could of course just be overthinking this

OP posts:
Holidaymodeon · 26/03/2026 00:54

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:35

I can understand why you think I sound borderline paranoid, but I am just airing my thoughts on Mumsnet as it's a place where I can do so.

I wouldn't tell him in a demanding way; I'd put it more as an indirect suggestion, i.e. 'I think she might be looking for attention, do you think it might be worth blocking her?'

My DH used to give this girl a bit more attention than I felt was professional. Nothing untoward, but he did used to eye her up, grin like a Chesire cat, and act fascinated in anything inane she said. And I think she enjoyed the attention and continued chats with him rather than shutting them down. I was pleased when her internship left and my DH wouldn't have any reasons to chat to her anymore 😂

How often were you around your husbands work to see their interactions? That’s weird in itself

FarmGirl78 · 26/03/2026 00:50

You really do have paranoia issues.

Your reasons for thinking she's after your husband is because she dresses well and does her her hair for work. THAT'S WHAT PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE DO!!

And because when they worked together and he started a conversation she would continue it rather than shutting it down. THAT'S WHAT COLLEAGUES DO!!

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Come on OP, can't you see that's absolutely baseless?

I dread to think how many times I must have unknowingly been excused of chasing someone's husband just because I've worn a nice top and brushed my hair!🤦🏻‍♀️

ThisSunnyBee · 26/03/2026 00:34

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 23:36

Did you read the bit of background information I gave though - DH leering and acting fascinated in her, her seeming to enjoy the attention? That's why I suspected (not saying I am right) the woman might have been sneakily trying to initiate a conversation with my DH.

He's leering at her and that makes you think she's "sneakily ' trying to initiate a conversation with him. Sounds like he needs a disaplinary, grim

CamillaMcCauley · 26/03/2026 00:00

She probably just knows more than one Matthew and put in the wrong one’s email.

Heyhoherewego23 · 25/03/2026 23:49

I hope I never come across your husband’s linked in profile in case I look like the type to ‘enjoy the attention’. You trust him or you don’t. His letching is a couple problem not her problem. This is mental!

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 23:40

@GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf Of course I don't want to prevent DH from every hiring women; over the 27 years of his business, he's worked with multiple women, and he hasn't been flirtatious to my knowledge.

OP posts:
roses19837 · 25/03/2026 23:38

Femalemachinest · 25/03/2026 22:15

Why do you think an email addressed to a group is to get your husband's attention? If that was the case im sure she would have solely emailed him.

The email was probably genuinely intended for the other recipients, but it was clearly irrelevant to my DH's business.

OP posts:
roses19837 · 25/03/2026 23:36

HoppingPavlova · 25/03/2026 23:32

I wonder whether this girl 'accidentally on purpose' sent this email, in an attempt to strike up a conversation with DH?

What an odd thought process that is.

Did you read the bit of background information I gave though - DH leering and acting fascinated in her, her seeming to enjoy the attention? That's why I suspected (not saying I am right) the woman might have been sneakily trying to initiate a conversation with my DH.

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 25/03/2026 23:32

I wonder whether this girl 'accidentally on purpose' sent this email, in an attempt to strike up a conversation with DH?

What an odd thought process that is.

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 25/03/2026 23:27

The more I read the more I think your husband was the problem and she was probably just trying to get in good with her boss so she could get a good reference as an intern. If your middle aged husband can’t stop leering at his intern and checking her out he’s the problem. I don’t know what to tell you - forbid him from hiring women I guess?

StephensLass1977 · 25/03/2026 23:21

She's doing it for engagement, contacts, career advancement. Why on earth do you think your husband is so special that she's concocted this whole thing for him?

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 25/03/2026 22:58

She doesn't want your husband or his old balls.

Heidi2018 · 25/03/2026 22:58

she seems like the kind of young woman who would like attention, always dressed immaculately and hair styled etc

This comment has really pissed me off. So a professional woman dressed professionally must only be dressing for attention and the male gaze? Grow up!

Sensiblesal · 25/03/2026 22:58

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:35

I can understand why you think I sound borderline paranoid, but I am just airing my thoughts on Mumsnet as it's a place where I can do so.

I wouldn't tell him in a demanding way; I'd put it more as an indirect suggestion, i.e. 'I think she might be looking for attention, do you think it might be worth blocking her?'

My DH used to give this girl a bit more attention than I felt was professional. Nothing untoward, but he did used to eye her up, grin like a Chesire cat, and act fascinated in anything inane she said. And I think she enjoyed the attention and continued chats with him rather than shutting them down. I was pleased when her internship left and my DH wouldn't have any reasons to chat to her anymore 😂

So first you just wanted to control & coerce him & now you want to gas light him into blocking an ex colleague cos you are insecure?!

I suggest you spend your time talking to a therapist instead of poking through your husbands emails & thats without considering the gdpr considerations of you being in his work emails

he ignored the email, thats the end of it

hereforthelolz · 25/03/2026 22:51

You can blether about trusting your DH but you don’t OP. Because you’re clearly feeling insecure about this, and it’s bothered you. If you trusted him, this wouldn’t have even registered.

TinyGingerCat · 25/03/2026 22:50

This is crazy. No way did you just glimpse his email. I have never read any of my DHs emails even though we both work from home. If you were a man saying this about his wife people would be mentioning coercive control. Your behaviour is unhinged.

hereforthelolz · 25/03/2026 22:47

Wow you are overthinking this!

Summerbay23 · 25/03/2026 22:47

Scout2016 · 25/03/2026 22:43

he did used to eye her up, grin like a Chesire cat, and act ....he gave her more attention and stared at her a few times in my presence

I would love to know the ratio of young interns who relish the attentions of a man 20 years older and would be keen to have an affair with their middle aged married boss
Compared to how many are sick to death of pretending to be interested in the prolonged conversation of the boss who keeps staring at at perving over them, even when his wife is there. I'm willing to bet there are far far more women in he second category.

Edited

Agree! Think most of the young women I know would be squirming to get away from an older gent perving at them.

redpendriedout · 25/03/2026 22:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Scout2016 · 25/03/2026 22:43

he did used to eye her up, grin like a Chesire cat, and act ....he gave her more attention and stared at her a few times in my presence

I would love to know the ratio of young interns who relish the attentions of a man 20 years older and would be keen to have an affair with their middle aged married boss
Compared to how many are sick to death of pretending to be interested in the prolonged conversation of the boss who keeps staring at at perving over them, even when his wife is there. I'm willing to bet there are far far more women in he second category.

Summerbay23 · 25/03/2026 22:43

I’m sorry but this does sound bonkers for someone that has been married this long. There’s no way I can read my husband’s emails from just walking past. I think you are massively over thinking this and the female colleague is in no way to blame here.

Bloozie · 25/03/2026 22:41

You sound a bit mad.

ColdAsAWitches · 25/03/2026 22:41

Amira83 · 25/03/2026 21:34

In a relationship I feel it is totally okay to set boundaries when it comes to friendships or working relationships with the opposite sex.
Despite what other people here have said, you are totally right and yes you should tell ask him to block her.

You think telling him he's not allowed to receive marketing emails from a former colleague is appropriate behavior? You're as mad as the OP!

SandyHappy · 25/03/2026 22:41

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:35

I can understand why you think I sound borderline paranoid, but I am just airing my thoughts on Mumsnet as it's a place where I can do so.

I wouldn't tell him in a demanding way; I'd put it more as an indirect suggestion, i.e. 'I think she might be looking for attention, do you think it might be worth blocking her?'

My DH used to give this girl a bit more attention than I felt was professional. Nothing untoward, but he did used to eye her up, grin like a Chesire cat, and act fascinated in anything inane she said. And I think she enjoyed the attention and continued chats with him rather than shutting them down. I was pleased when her internship left and my DH wouldn't have any reasons to chat to her anymore 😂

'I think she might be looking for attention, do you think it might be worth blocking her?'

I'm cringing for you OP.

novalia89 · 25/03/2026 22:32

-Accidental repost-