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A genuine or accidentally-on-purpose email sent by mistake?

337 replies

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 19:50

Yesterday I saw that DH received a what appears to be obviously an accidental email from a former, younger female employee. The email was addressed to a group, staring 'hi all,' and from what I could see, was all about writing content for a website. Nothing to do with what DH does. DH just left the email, didn't reply, and went back to his inbox. He never mentioned it to me, but why would he? A silly accidental email is no piece of news really...

This employee left the company after an internship with my DH's business last summer.

As a bit of background, most of DH's work was from home, so he didn't see this woman in person all that often.

I used to suspect that DH was a bit too chatty and familiar with this young woman, although he never contacted her inappropriately outside of work. I met her several times when I went with DH to the office, and he always seemed smily and enthralled with her and what she was saying, which I did have words with him about, and he did later tone this down.

I wonder whether this girl 'accidentally on purpose' sent this email, in an attempt to strike up a conversation with DH? If so, would it be worth me telling DH to block her? I did used to wonder whether she liked the attention he gave her before I had words with him (she seems like the kind of young woman who would like attention, always dressed immaculately and hair styled etc). I could of course just be overthinking this

OP posts:
BoogieTownTop · 25/03/2026 20:57

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:55

There isn't a massive backstory, just a slightly more padded out version of what I described in my OP.

This young woman worked for DH as an intern for two years. DH used to enjoy chatting to her, I caught him staring at her on a few occasions when I went into the office with him, which I later had words with him about and said it was inappropriate. He used to show interest in literally anything she said, when I knew for a fact he wasn't really interested in it. None of this is a big deal, I know. It just annoyed me slightly. Then I saw an email from her a few days back, and thought, 'oh ffs not her again'. 😅

She’s not the issue

BauhausOfEliott · 25/03/2026 20:56

You need some serious therapy.

BoogieTownTop · 25/03/2026 20:55

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:48

I think he also might have found her attractive, despite the fact she is 20 years younger than him. And I think she might have sensed this and loved the attention, which is what I didn't like about her.

So your DH is over attentive so she’s at fault?

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:55

Crunchymum · 25/03/2026 20:00

Your thought process on this is bonkers.

Please tell us the massive back story as to why you think / react this way?

There isn't a massive backstory, just a slightly more padded out version of what I described in my OP.

This young woman worked for DH as an intern for two years. DH used to enjoy chatting to her, I caught him staring at her on a few occasions when I went into the office with him, which I later had words with him about and said it was inappropriate. He used to show interest in literally anything she said, when I knew for a fact he wasn't really interested in it. None of this is a big deal, I know. It just annoyed me slightly. Then I saw an email from her a few days back, and thought, 'oh ffs not her again'. 😅

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 25/03/2026 20:55

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:48

I think he also might have found her attractive, despite the fact she is 20 years younger than him. And I think she might have sensed this and loved the attention, which is what I didn't like about her.

Sorry OP but that doesn’t sound normal. You sound really hostile, why shouldn’t someone look their best?

If you trusted your husband it wouldn’t be an issue anyway but you clearly don’t.

Has your husband cheated before? Why do you think she would be interested?

Your marriage is not healthy if you are that controlling

BoogieTownTop · 25/03/2026 20:54

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:50

He was on his laptop at the dining room table and I just saw it as I walked past.

You saw an awful lot just walking past!

PoppinjayPolly · 25/03/2026 20:54

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:45

I have short hair and tend to just to wear casual clothes, jeans T shirts, sports clothes. I don't wear make up unless I'm going to a wedding/christening, and even then not much.

So you’re dressing in what up feel is nice? Why?

BlueMum16 · 25/03/2026 20:53

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:50

He was on his laptop at the dining room table and I just saw it as I walked past.

So you were walking by, then then stopped and read someone's work email and now feel it's your place to police who he interacts with on a work email/device.

Truly shocked.

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:52

Batties · 25/03/2026 19:57

You can’t actually be serious? Is there some background information you are leaving out?

No, I put the background in my original post; that DH used to like chatting to this woman and gave her a bit more attention than other employees, also stared at her a few times in my presence, which I was unhappy with him and told him so afterwards.

OP posts:
roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:50

BlueMum16 · 25/03/2026 20:20

Exactly.

And why are you seeing his work emails? Seems a tad over involved if not controlling.

He was on his laptop at the dining room table and I just saw it as I walked past.

OP posts:
roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:48

Evaka · 25/03/2026 19:56

Fucking hell OP, this is a lot. No, don't tell your husband to block an ex colleague because he found them charming and interesting.

I think he also might have found her attractive, despite the fact she is 20 years younger than him. And I think she might have sensed this and loved the attention, which is what I didn't like about her.

OP posts:
roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:45

PoppinjayPolly · 25/03/2026 20:44

Oh I think op is coming across as such quite strongly!! she seems like the kind of young woman who would like attention, always dressed immaculately and hair styled etc)
is that why you dress as you do op? Why you style your hair? For the male gaze…. and attention?

I have short hair and tend to just to wear casual clothes, jeans T shirts, sports clothes. I don't wear make up unless I'm going to a wedding/christening, and even then not much.

OP posts:
PoppinjayPolly · 25/03/2026 20:44

Neolara · 25/03/2026 20:31

Only if you want to come across as a lunatic...

Oh I think op is coming across as such quite strongly!! she seems like the kind of young woman who would like attention, always dressed immaculately and hair styled etc)
is that why you dress as you do op? Why you style your hair? For the male gaze…. and attention?

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:44

Uptightmumma · 25/03/2026 20:40

So she’s trying to drum up business. It’s a the worse strategy but the LinkedIn generation love it

She doesn't have a business, she works for a company. I know because DH had to give her a reference.

Also.... DH would not be in her target audience at all.

OP posts:
roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:43

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta I just saw the email on my DH's laptop screen when I walked past. He was at the dining table and I walked past, and noticed this girl's Google profile photo, and couldn't help but glance at the email...But I never said anything about it.

OP posts:
Uptightmumma · 25/03/2026 20:40

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:38

@Uptightmumma I can see why people would do this, but this woman doesn't have her own business; she's employed by someone else. The email in question was her giving advice on content written for a website. She must be in some sort of creative marketing role.

So she’s trying to drum up business. It’s a the worse strategy but the LinkedIn generation love it

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:39

MasterBeth · 25/03/2026 19:55

Unless the content this woman is asking for is erotic poetry, I think you can let this one go.

A group email about websites doesn't sound like the start of an illicit relationship.

No, I don't think she was trying to start an affair....I just was thinking she might have been hoping to initiate a conversation for DH. Maybe she wanted someone to chat to, or his advice on something?

OP posts:
roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:38

@Uptightmumma I can see why people would do this, but this woman doesn't have her own business; she's employed by someone else. The email in question was her giving advice on content written for a website. She must be in some sort of creative marketing role.

OP posts:
Kangarude · 25/03/2026 20:38

How did you happen to see his work emails?
You do come across as suffocating to be honest.

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 20:35

Janesput · 25/03/2026 19:53

I think you sound ever so slightly unhinged.

Would you really "tell" him to block someone? Would he do that to you?

I can understand why you think I sound borderline paranoid, but I am just airing my thoughts on Mumsnet as it's a place where I can do so.

I wouldn't tell him in a demanding way; I'd put it more as an indirect suggestion, i.e. 'I think she might be looking for attention, do you think it might be worth blocking her?'

My DH used to give this girl a bit more attention than I felt was professional. Nothing untoward, but he did used to eye her up, grin like a Chesire cat, and act fascinated in anything inane she said. And I think she enjoyed the attention and continued chats with him rather than shutting them down. I was pleased when her internship left and my DH wouldn't have any reasons to chat to her anymore 😂

OP posts:
Neolara · 25/03/2026 20:31

Only if you want to come across as a lunatic...

MyThreeWords · 25/03/2026 20:30

Your attitude to your husband seems very oppressive.

DripDripAprilshower · 25/03/2026 20:23

I met her several times when I went with DH to the office, and he always seemed smily and enthralled with her and what she was saying, which I did have words with him about, and he did later tone this down.

You are far too invested in this woman.

By the sound of it she doesn’t need to ‘accidentally’ send your husband a message if she wants to flirt with him anyway.

BlueMum16 · 25/03/2026 20:20

PollyBell · 25/03/2026 19:52

He is an adult who can make his own decisions i would not tolerate being dictated to by my husband so wouldn't do it to him

Exactly.

And why are you seeing his work emails? Seems a tad over involved if not controlling.

ColdAsAWitches · 25/03/2026 20:18

This is insane. If this is real, you have serious issues. Nobody should be this paranoid or controlling.