A genuine or accidentally-on-purpose email sent by mistake?

Everyone has said the same and given the same advice and you continue to deflect and try blame a young girl for your husband leering at her. At no point have you said well actually I do maybe need to look at my own behaviour as posters have suggested , as it’s over the top. Paranoid , over protective and unhinged as people have commented. So what are you afraid happens they chat? Have an affair.. is that her fault. I couldn’t live a life like this or with this level of paranoia. 30 years as well. I am married 16/20 years together and never been to my husbands work.

Internalised misogyny, nice.

No - you don’t get to control what others do. Set boundaries - fine. Tell someone who they can and cannot contact - controlling.

I presume you would be happy with your partner dictating who you speak to?

If he wasn’t trying to cheat, what is your issue (except that she had the nerve to be young).

So you went through his messages and you are delighted that he wasn’t left alone with her? Does he have problems controlling himself sexually in general?

And you noticed her Google pic? How big was his screen?? And how do you even know what her Google pic looks like?

@roses19837 I wonder whether this girl 'accidentally on purpose' sent this email, in an attempt to strike up a conversation with DH?

Yeah, sure. Because women are obsessed with men and chase them constantly, and send sneaky e-mails to try to strike up conversations and start a relationship.

Get real.

In a relationship I feel it is totally okay to set boundaries when it comes to friendships or working relationships with the opposite sex.
Despite what other people here have said, you are totally right and yes you should tell ask him to block her.

This is simply not believable at all

If she was hoping to initiate a conversation, a chat, or some advice, why would she send your husband a group email about writing for a website?

In the course of a week I will get a large number of emails from people I used to know and many I do not know who would like to sell me things or leverage my knowledge. I ignore most as I do not have the time to reply. Some, particularly young graduates and interns I might try and help. This would be both male and female. it is a tough world out there and I believe in mentoring.

I say this kindly OP, happening to see someone's work emails sounds like you are reviewing them quite often. Doing so will be exhausting and it does sound as if you feel there is something wrong in your marriage. In the absence of a back story, I think you need to think about if you might need some help.

This is totally nuts

I'd probably look a bit too enthusiastic if I were kept on such a tight leash that I was monitored whilst working for the majority of the week, my spouse tagged along on a lot of the occasional visits to the office and I actually got some human interaction and conversation beyond what the dog has rolled in this morning when I wasn't being supervised.

My ex would have loved to fuck up my professional life as well as my personal and social one. Which is why he's an ex - it got to the point that he'd complain I was clearly going out on the pull if I brushed my hair and teeth and if I stayed home and used the computer, I was obviously doing it in order to start an internet affair.

Batshit. Totally batshit.

Noooooo! Lengthy chats?!! Omg how terrible to talk to colleagues in the workplace.

I have great friends (male and female) of all ages and it enriches my life. I’ve been to weddings, retirement parties, birthdays, etc., with all these friends. We’ve even been on holiday together. We’ve helped each other in a new work environment when others have got new jobs and we can help each other out. Do you not have any work friends?

Perhaps you could lock him in the cellar in case he sees any loose woman who likes to look good.

I can see exactly what you are saying here

put simply, you know your husband fancied her / had a bit of a crush and now she’s left, she’s perhaps trying to open up a conversation with him in a roundabout way/ not obvious way

seeing if he will reply , if you like. Which then gives her an opportunity to respond back

I’m not sure what’s not clear about that to the other rather obtuse responses you’re getting

HOWEVR … the issue here is with your husband. He openly flirted with her in front of you and you clearly don’t trust him. That’s your issue really . The answer probably isn’t requesting he blocks her - the answer probably lies in you considering how you feel going forward about your husband basically disrespecting you in front of this young woman

But you don’t trust him so how can you love him? He didn’t have an affair but you are bitter about a woman who has the audacity to look good and be young.

can you not see that your actions and thought processes are so controlling as to be unhealthy

For info, if I was trying to contact someone on the down low, I wouldn’t do it by sending a group email 🤣🤣

Yes!! I’m sure we all remember being 20-something in the workplace and wanting to jeopardise your job (despite having to prove yourself constantly, over mediocre men), by trying to shag a middle aged man when you have all the fit 20-something men to pick from!

He might have found her attractive. I am happily married but find other blokes attractive. If we only found one person attractive in the course of our entire lives it would be a sad place and the likelihood of you meeting that one person might be negligible.

But I have absolutely no intention of doing anything about the other blokes I find attractive. And most likely your DH had no intention of doing anything other than enjoying a bit of flattering attention.

You can't start telling him to block other women. You will come across as unhinged and you could end up ruining your relationship.

Then why are you with him?

And the correct action if you see someone’s work laptop open is to carry on past without having a nosey

But of all the emails, in all the days, you saw that one in enough detail to know what it was all about, also that he didn’t answer it.

This thread is a wind up! Good try!