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A genuine or accidentally-on-purpose email sent by mistake?

337 replies

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 19:50

Yesterday I saw that DH received a what appears to be obviously an accidental email from a former, younger female employee. The email was addressed to a group, staring 'hi all,' and from what I could see, was all about writing content for a website. Nothing to do with what DH does. DH just left the email, didn't reply, and went back to his inbox. He never mentioned it to me, but why would he? A silly accidental email is no piece of news really...

This employee left the company after an internship with my DH's business last summer.

As a bit of background, most of DH's work was from home, so he didn't see this woman in person all that often.

I used to suspect that DH was a bit too chatty and familiar with this young woman, although he never contacted her inappropriately outside of work. I met her several times when I went with DH to the office, and he always seemed smily and enthralled with her and what she was saying, which I did have words with him about, and he did later tone this down.

I wonder whether this girl 'accidentally on purpose' sent this email, in an attempt to strike up a conversation with DH? If so, would it be worth me telling DH to block her? I did used to wonder whether she liked the attention he gave her before I had words with him (she seems like the kind of young woman who would like attention, always dressed immaculately and hair styled etc). I could of course just be overthinking this

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
portvfs · 27/03/2026 20:41

roses19837 · 27/03/2026 20:36

That user, Portvfs, has gone off on a tangent and is, in my opinion, just trolling and derailing the thread.

I obviously do have an issue with this woman, but that's because of my DH's behaviour towards her, and I care very much about the latter.

Portvfs has been inventing some of his/her own details not included in my post. I've told them they are barking up the wrong tree, but they persist anyway. They're just trolling.

Maybe it’s because i, like many, have issues with how you’re talking about a woman 20+ years younger than you? And think you need to examine that rather than stalk your dh’s colleagues, but that’s just me.
i will let you go back to skirting the real issue though. Sorry I couldn’t help you

roses19837 · 27/03/2026 20:36

BudgetBuster · 27/03/2026 20:21

It feels like you are starting to get a bit obsessed yourself....

The OP has an issue with the younger woman. It doesn't mean she's a lesbian. Stop reaching.

That user, Portvfs, has gone off on a tangent and is, in my opinion, just trolling and derailing the thread.

I obviously do have an issue with this woman, but that's because of my DH's behaviour towards her, and I care very much about the latter.

Portvfs has been inventing some of his/her own details not included in my post. I've told them they are barking up the wrong tree, but they persist anyway. They're just trolling.

OP posts:
portvfs · 27/03/2026 20:27

BudgetBuster · 27/03/2026 20:26

A threesome dynamic?
What are you even talking about 😂

Well I’m showing op a lot of attention and suddenly you’ve popped up to police my words and attract my attention instead. Did you parents argue a lot when you were younger? Do you often insert yourself into arguments for attention? What unmet childhood needs do you think are inciting you to involve yourself in dynamics like this?

BudgetBuster · 27/03/2026 20:26

portvfs · 27/03/2026 20:24

I’ve accepted that? And asked her what it is?
like seriously never once called her lesbian. Can you read? You seem a bit obsessed popping up to involve yourself in a threesome dynamic if we’re really going to go there

A threesome dynamic?
What are you even talking about 😂

portvfs · 27/03/2026 20:24

BudgetBuster · 27/03/2026 20:21

It feels like you are starting to get a bit obsessed yourself....

The OP has an issue with the younger woman. It doesn't mean she's a lesbian. Stop reaching.

I’ve accepted that? And asked her what it is?
like seriously never once called her lesbian. Can you read? You seem a bit obsessed popping up to involve yourself in a threesome dynamic if we’re really going to go there

BudgetBuster · 27/03/2026 20:21

portvfs · 27/03/2026 20:18

well I’ve told you what people might start thinking, especially anyone even slightly queer.
you might want to start thinking about why you hate attractive women. If it’s not shame, and you trust your dh, then what is it? Why obsess over someone you’re not interested in? You sound like you think about her more than your dh!

It feels like you are starting to get a bit obsessed yourself....

The OP has an issue with the younger woman. It doesn't mean she's a lesbian. Stop reaching.

Ophir · 27/03/2026 20:20

This is all too weird now

portvfs · 27/03/2026 20:18

roses19837 · 27/03/2026 18:09

It does, but it's way off the mark in my case. I keep an eye on my DH's behaviour. Couldn't give a toss about the (former) young employee.

well I’ve told you what people might start thinking, especially anyone even slightly queer.
you might want to start thinking about why you hate attractive women. If it’s not shame, and you trust your dh, then what is it? Why obsess over someone you’re not interested in? You sound like you think about her more than your dh!

Sugargliderwombat · 27/03/2026 19:20

roses19837 · 25/03/2026 22:08

No, I do. He hasn't done anything to indicate wanting to cheat.

This did make me laugh 😅. This is NOT what Trust looks like!!!

roses19837 · 27/03/2026 19:16

Swiftie1878 · 27/03/2026 18:29

It’s a real shame that you have to keep an eye on your DH’s behaviour, especially after so many years of marriage. Must be very disconcerting, and explains your discomfort here.

I mean, I don't have to, but if I think he's overstepping a boundary/firting then sometimes I will.

He's never actually physically cheated, and I highly doubt, after 30 years together, he would want to; as I've said in a few posts, we both work from home, and socialise together in the evenings. Obviously sometimes he goes out with his friends, but it tends to be a pub at night/hike during the day.

DH is probably neurodivergent and undiagnosed; he wears his heart on his sleeve and sometimes doesn't conceal his thoughts or feelings where most people do. For example if he finds a woman attractive he'll just gawp, instead of a subtle glance and then glance away, like most sensible men would do in front of their wives (or on any occasion I'd hope!).

OP posts:
Swiftie1878 · 27/03/2026 18:29

roses19837 · 27/03/2026 18:09

It does, but it's way off the mark in my case. I keep an eye on my DH's behaviour. Couldn't give a toss about the (former) young employee.

It’s a real shame that you have to keep an eye on your DH’s behaviour, especially after so many years of marriage. Must be very disconcerting, and explains your discomfort here.

roses19837 · 27/03/2026 18:09

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/03/2026 13:38

Explains why you are projecting all over the thread I guess 🤷‍♀️

It does, but it's way off the mark in my case. I keep an eye on my DH's behaviour. Couldn't give a toss about the (former) young employee.

OP posts:
portvfs · 27/03/2026 14:06

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/03/2026 14:05

Oh dear, there’s that ego again…

Yes that was the joke. Have you seen mean girls? The main character thinks everyone’s in love with her when they hate her.
i think we should probably just leave things here now. We don’t have the same sense of humour

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/03/2026 14:06

Anyway, you still aren’t making sense and im bored with it now.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/03/2026 14:05

portvfs · 27/03/2026 14:04

I’m important enough for a two day back and forth… you know me and my ego 😂😂😂
#reginageorge

Oh dear, there’s that ego again…

portvfs · 27/03/2026 14:04

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/03/2026 14:03

Why would I hate you? You aren’t important enough one way or another 🤣

I’m important enough for a two day back and forth… you know me and my ego 😂😂😂
#reginageorge

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/03/2026 14:03

Why would I hate you? You aren’t important enough one way or another 🤣

portvfs · 27/03/2026 13:52

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/03/2026 13:49

No they probably wouldn’t, given how many men fantasise about lesbians.

is she obsessed with me or him?

That’s some ego you have there. Don’t flatter yourself that all these wives fancy you 🤣

Actually, they get quite jealous and a bit like why don’t you like me? And actually a bit territorial. Which the wife likes.
and I don’t think they all fancy me. I think they enjoy the look on their husbands face, but that’s another conversation 😂😂😂
you really don’t seem to like me suggesting about internalised homophobia. Actually if you google it sexuality is a spectrum and it’s normal to feel attracted to people of different genders. It doesn’t mean you’re gay. But lots of people still feel ashamed of this.
i really dk why you hate me so much apart from my crap 80s knowledge. You say it was an oasis for gay people but I’m not sure Elton John or George Michael would have agreed with you at the time

HappenstanceMarmite · 27/03/2026 13:50

“the kind of woman who would like attention, always dressed immaculately and hair styled etc”. So taking pride in her appearance is attention seeking is it? 🙄

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/03/2026 13:49

portvfs · 27/03/2026 13:42

It’s hilarious. If all women did this - showed interest in the wife and not the husband - the men would soon quickly learn.
Yes and I am queer and do recognise some things I used to do in the OP’s behaviour. That’s why I asked her?

No they probably wouldn’t, given how many men fantasise about lesbians.

is she obsessed with me or him?

That’s some ego you have there. Don’t flatter yourself that all these wives fancy you 🤣

portvfs · 27/03/2026 13:42

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/03/2026 13:38

Explains why you are projecting all over the thread I guess 🤷‍♀️

It’s hilarious. If all women did this - showed interest in the wife and not the husband - the men would soon quickly learn.
Yes and I am queer and do recognise some things I used to do in the OP’s behaviour. That’s why I asked her?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/03/2026 13:38

portvfs · 27/03/2026 13:34

I don’t know if I should admit to this online but I am a younger woman who’s been used by a man to make a woman jealous. when they do it I’ve now started hitting on their partners to see how they like it. 🫠😂 never not been appreciated 😂😂

Maybe I’m projecting a bit but having been the woman on the receiving end of an unfounded jealous wife before I have had this cross my mind - is she obsessed with me or him?

op asked, I told her

Edited

Explains why you are projecting all over the thread I guess 🤷‍♀️

portvfs · 27/03/2026 13:34

HoppingPavlova · 27/03/2026 04:10

Or, more likely, as she was an intern, at the start of her career and wanting things to go well, and to get a good reference, she just indulged your pervy DH. Can you not see the enormous power imbalance here, and how that may affect her behaviour?

No doubt, she likely went home to flatmates or friends and they all sympathised with her work situation, with her having to put up a good ‘front’ with a middle age lech, who has the ability to impede her career before it begins.

Yet, you just seem to see a woman who wants tote DH, which is so very odd.

No idea about the wannabe lesbian love affair that has made its way into things, that has more than jumped the shark somewhat.

I don’t know if I should admit to this online but I am a younger woman who’s been used by a man to make a woman jealous. when they do it I’ve now started hitting on their partners to see how they like it. 🫠😂 never not been appreciated 😂😂

Maybe I’m projecting a bit but having been the woman on the receiving end of an unfounded jealous wife before I have had this cross my mind - is she obsessed with me or him?

op asked, I told her

HoppingPavlova · 27/03/2026 04:10

roses19837 · 26/03/2026 23:39

My issue is mostly with my husband for leering at her, but I do also think that she encouraged DH by laughing and chatting back to him.

Or, more likely, as she was an intern, at the start of her career and wanting things to go well, and to get a good reference, she just indulged your pervy DH. Can you not see the enormous power imbalance here, and how that may affect her behaviour?

No doubt, she likely went home to flatmates or friends and they all sympathised with her work situation, with her having to put up a good ‘front’ with a middle age lech, who has the ability to impede her career before it begins.

Yet, you just seem to see a woman who wants tote DH, which is so very odd.

No idea about the wannabe lesbian love affair that has made its way into things, that has more than jumped the shark somewhat.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/03/2026 00:25

Okay well he was arrested but not beaten up.

And it wasn’t the only disrespectful thing but that’s fine. As you say, different opinions and all that.

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