AIBU to prioritise supporting my teens over funding my mum’s rent?

It's all in OP's posts, just have a quick catch-up.

This and when her savings are under £6k she can claim pension credit.

This is so weird. No, of course you shouldn’t find the lifestyle of your mother who has 90k in savings and refuses to move.

I'm with those saying no to a conversation, frank or otherwise.

Paying our parents' living costs is generally not a "thing" and discussing it unprompted will suddenly make it one.

OP's DM will doubtless deny dropping hints anyway.

OP should start voicing her own money concerns so her mother will hopefully get the message without any unnecessary awkward conversations.

Time to set some boundaries.

Tbh, I don't think you do need to sit her down and discuss her finances. What would you think if she tried to discuss your finances/future planning?
I think you should mind your own business and let your mum and her partner sort themselves out.
Remember mum will be getting her state pension every 4 weeks as well as having her savings to fall back on. Her partner will presumably also be able to draw his State Pension when he is 67 they will be fine and if not they are adults able to make adult decisions.

That is a wild thing to assume - your mum will have to fund her own retirement and cut her cloth accordingly!

Exactly.

Get in there with your own money worries, totally separate to her talking about hers. Cut her off at the pass, so to speak.

what if the landlord wishes to sell up? Mum would have to move in that eventuality

The way to think about it that both you and DM have made choices. Yours have seen you work hard, have a successful career and earn well, save money and plan ahead. Your DM has made different choices and continues to do so ie you say she won’t entertain a move, she has a partner not working etc

Not your responsibility to compensate for her poor choices.

Is AC a typo for DC, or is there yet another abbreviation I don't know? 😄

You are mad to think you are responsible. I wish I had £90000 going into retirement!!

'They share the rent. He does not work and lives off an inheritance. He is 10 years younger than her. She has been saving her state pension and as a result has around £90k saved.'...Seriously?!
This stood out for me and I totally agree with what most other posters have said in that you should not in any way be expected to be responsible financially for your Mother unless she is alone and destitute maybe? 🙄
I love that you say 'she will not entertain a move' well we would like to live in a big detached house overlooking the sea but WE CAN'T AFFORD IT so we can't! 😥
Sorry to say this but your Mum needs to live in the real world and come to terms with the fact that life is hard for many folks who are in far worse situation that she is or will ever be...in other words, she needs to grow up and accept with grace that your commitment should be to your own family and not to her...😊

I’m confused, does your mother expect you to support her?

I don’t understand your concern if your Mum is 73 and has 90K?!? You are not responsible for her partner either, as he is not your parent.
Your responsibilities are your husband & children, especially their future regarding uni.
I wouldn’t give it another thought.

You haven't agreed to support her, she has £90k in savings. Id not be offering to support her, she will need to live within her means

Your DM may end up struggling but that will be a result of choices she has made. Am sure she made sacrifices when you were a child but you have worked hard, been prudent and saved with a view to the years of supporting students then hopefully actually have some years to enjoy yourself. She has elected to keep renting somewhere pricey, has kept working to allow this but has managed to save. She has options for how to move forward but it isn’t for you to pick up the pieces if she maintains a lifestyle that erodes her savings.

She’s not on her own, I wouldn’t pay in her rent in this situation, let them sort it out together.

Hi, we financially support DM (bought her a home) because she couldn’t have retired without it as is single and couldn’t afford rent and has no savings. This was absolutely not an expectation, we brought her directly position to her attention tbh.

However, we are in a position to afford this and DM didn’t have any other options available to her. I absolutely wouldn’t have done this should she have had £90k savings and/or refusing to move home to a more reasonably priced area.

Once their money runs out, they will be able to claim housing benefit. It’s not your job to pay for neither of them.

I may have voted the wrong way. Agree with everyone else. Not your responsibility.

She lives off her state pension and savings then applies for pension credit as and when savings run out. She will get interest on savings too. She could then look at sheltered accommodation or housing association properties.

Of course you should prioritise your children!

It's not your fault your mum has made poor life choices.
She could quite easily use this pension money for a house deposit. She may have to keep working longer than she wants to.

Nope there’s no way I’d be supporting my mother. You have your own family and life to think about. She’s an adult!
sorry but no. She will need to use her savings or move to a more affordable property.
you’ve worked hard for what you have. You shouldn’t have to be thinking of her. Just my opinion

Even if you do decide to help a bit in the end, don't do so until every penny of the 90k spent and any benefits she's then eligible for claimed. This could easily segue into you paying for the cleaner / gardener / carer / care home while she sits on 90k for no reason. Don't help people who refuse to help themselves.