To ask wtf do I do and how I break out of this IMPOSSIBLE situation?!

@XelaM
Who has given advice to ignore it ?

Have the police been ok or have you got Victim Support involved? He doesn't get to get away with that.

You can represent yourself in court. A Mackenzie friend is someone who can be your legal buddy for representing yourself in court. They have some legal knowledge

I was just about to say this. Once the divorce process has started, I believe you can charge Occupational Rent if you are being forced into paying some of the mortgage.

Police can get you back in

Have you now set up a redirection service for post?

Excactly my experience. They always pursue it in court and the cost skyrocket. Terrible advice to just ignore it.

It sounds as if you are going through a lot.

Not sure if citizens advice would be able to help, or point you in the direction of those that can.

Same for women's aid or any other similar organisations.

Do you have legal cover with anything else like a union. If so not sure if they could help.

Good luck.

Regarding the PCN - email your local MP and cc the local council with the fine and your explanation here about fleeing DV. Additionally if you were parked somewhere and spending money you could speak to the company whos space it is and ask them to interceed

Refuge harbour or women's aid may be able to advise on the house stuff

Good look OP

I’m just going to say I deliberately ignored a private parking ticket to see if it’s true that they eventually drop them. Well in my case after many letters then months of silence I did receive a court claim and the total cost had escalated so I wouldn’t recommend ignoring but appealing and getting the coffee shop etc all worth a try.

Re your private parking ticket. Do not just pay it and do not ever admit who was driving in any correspondence. You say the next step is CCJ, the only time you will get a CCJ is if you do not pay what a court judge tells you what you have to pay but chances are the company will drop the invoice ( that's what it really is ) before it gets that far, most claims are discontinued. Debt recovery threats are just that, they have no powers. Private parking companies are cowboys, simply want your cash and will likely ignore any correspondence. Do not ignore a letter before claim. Please look on Moneysavingexpert.com Parking tickets, Fines & Parking forums for very useful help and advice from regulars who have helped countless people fight the private parking companies.

My ex stopped paying when he left and theres nothing I can do. Bank is sympathetic but just want their money. You need a court order to force the sale of the house. Call the court and they will advise what form etc. You can do majority of it yourself using wiki divorce etc

When my family member moved out of the family home after a split (didn't really want to but had no choice). Their solicitor said they didn't have to pay half the mortgage as they weren't living in it, and in actual fact, if they wanted to they could charge the ex rent! (This didn't happen).

I think the Money Saving Expert website has some advice re parking tickets of that sort, which might help.

Agreed. It also quotes irrelevant law that might not even be from the UK, or the particular region you are in

As you are a joint owner he CANNOT exclude you from the property

its normal to only pay estate agent once a property completes so that cost shouldn’t be a factor if purchasers do pull out

Try calling the NCDV and see if you can get an Occupational Order (for free). Good luck.

Re the PCN I’m assuming that it is from a private parking company and not the council? If that is the case, do not pay and do not admit to being the driver (they only know you are the registered vehicle owner). Then have a look at money saving expert’s forum and search for private PCNs they have the absolute best advice and standard letters that you can use. I got out of one for £100 recently thanks to them! Private parking companies rely on intimidation and our fear of escalation.

Also can you check you’re getting all the benefits you’re entitled to and also CMS via a formal arrangement?

Finally, in terms of the house sale, could you “move back in” with a family member?It’s still your house- and obviously this would just be to get it sold. If it’s risky or your mental health will suffer don’t do it. On the sale you can also do the paperwork on the sale yourself for the most part.

Citizens advice could help.

If your DH stops responding to everyone and won’t sell the house voluntarily then I think you may need to go to court and ask for an order for sale. It won’t be for the best price and will cost money but he won’t be able to stay there forever. I’d also write to the estate agent and the solicitors on the sale telling them what’s happening and take their advice. They might also be able to talk some sense into him.

On the house I think you need to go and see a divorce solicitor asap who will be able to write to him and point this out plus the consequences to him (he may be forced to pay your costs if he behaves completely unreasonably).

On the mortgage you could, if you’re desperate for the cash at this point, just stop paying your share of the mortgage however this is likely to start the bank taking repossession proceedings. This might shake your ex out of his inertia and make him realise he’s got to sell but it’s high risk. If he starts paying the whole of the mortgage you could end up worse off when it does sell.

If you don’t want to do that you could consider asking your mortgage company to pay interest only but that might just encourage your DH to stay in the house even longer!

On the PCN I would write to the company concerned (which you now know) give your current address and point out what you’ve said here- that because of domestic abuse you weren’t at the address they sent correspondence to, and therefore never received the original fine. Set it all out and say that you expect them to drop the ticket or to be re-offered a chance to pay at the original rate. If they refuse ask for their policies on vulnerable customers and wait for them to respond. Personally if they don’t offer you the chance to pay the original rate (or drop the ticket) I would continue to respond to all correspondence with the same response and wait until they drop it- which they will. But if you are stressed out by it just pay what they are asking for and take it out of your share of the mortgage for one month and tell your ex that he can make the money up because he didn’t send your post on.

Also use this as a chance to redirect all post to you from your old house- do it via the post office- and make sure you’ve changed your address everywhere.