Take 3 month old baby to family wedding or leave with MIL?

Could you get a hotel near/at the reception? A room for you and a room for MIL. Baby comes to the wedding to meet the family and then MIL takes the baby back to the room to sleep while you enjoy some ‘baby-free’ time, but your baby is still fast asleep nearby.

On MN people don’t seem to leave their children in the hands of other capable adults until they’re about ready for high school 🤷‍♀️

Honestly a lot of people feel very very protective of their babies and struggle when they are out of their sight. That's fine for them, but it's equally not allowed not to feel like that. Breastfeeding mums obviously have to stay close, which is why I couldn't have left my second born. But I felt zero anxiety over leaving my first with my parents whilst I went out (I did this from a couple of weeks). It's not a sign of poor bonding, or that something's wrong, everyone's different.

A lot of people also felt very anxious over their newborns. That too is normal, but not universal. I didn't feel anxious, it was fine.

Baby will be fine regardless, it's upto you and your comfort level. There are no rights and wrongs here.

Just because they don't want to.

That's it. There's nothing to understand beyond people have different preferences.

Go for it enjoy yourself , neither set of grandparents ever offered to mind ours at any age , we were almost conditioned not to ask. Mind you mine were little terrors they were lucky I didn’t leave them at a bus station ! 😂

You genuinely can’t understand why a mother would not want to be away from their very young baby for such a long time? Really? Have you read about the fourth trimester at all?

What would you like to do? It doesn’t matter what anyone else wants or thinks. I could never have left my babies at 3 months but DSIS would happily leave hers with a baby sitter to go out for the evening with friends. Everyone is different, it doesn’t make you a bad mother. Your baby is bottle fed so there are no issues with feeding.

Do whatever YOU want.

Discount the views of Mumsnet and your wider family.

It's your baby. It's your choice. Everyone else can mind their own business.

We could, and did, leave our baby overnight with immediate family for both a death and a marriage before they were 4 months old. Baby was snug and safe and cared for by someone who loves them, which is really all that matters. We supplied with a stock of frozen pumped breastmilk so baby didn't starve. DC is now 7 years old and does not appear to be suffering any lasting psychological trauma from occasionally staying overnight with grandparents or auntie while parents are away. In fact, they quite enjoy it, because they do get rather spoiled when it happens...
Enjoy the wedding, and tell everyone there that you left the baby at home "so as not to disrupt their sleep schedule".

It’s because a 3 month old is still tiny. I trust my mum completely, but at 3 months old I didn’t leave either of my babies with anyone. Not a lack of trust at all, it’s really very normal for mum’s to keep their babies with them and want their young babies with them.

I went on a daytime hen do when my youngest was 3 months, I only went because it was local, and it was only a few hours. I left baby with their father. I wouldn’t have ever left the baby with anyone else that wasn’t my partner at such a young age and a few hours in I was really desperate to get back to them. Do ypu
have a good bond with the baby as I don’t actually know anyone in real life that would want to be away from such a young baby for very long at al, certainly not that distance away.

I have three children. My youngest was 3 months when my sister got married and my MIL minded him. My two DDs were 3 and 4. I never left my two girls with anyone but DS was such a chill and easy baby that I allowed MIL to mind him. She had him overnight, we then collected him the next morning and brought him to the more relaxed second day of the wedding weekend. The venue was only a 30 minute drive from MIL.

It also gave me the chance to fully engage with my DDs who were very excited about "the big party". I might add that was the first and only time I left DS but I don't regret it.

It will be hard to take the baby; travelling, organising changes, naps and feeds whilst there.
It is also a long time to leave baby if you go without.
However both are fine though if that's what you want to do.
I wouldn't have wanted to do either so probably would have sent my apologies and not gone.

I couldn't have. BFing. So it seems normal not to. And tiny babies do just want their primary caregiver.

But that's not to say you can't. It just wouldn't be enjoyable to me.

And many of us do - but still wouldn’t want to leave the baby for 15 hours.

It’s a personal decision to make. I wouldn’t have left either of my babies at that age but then both of mine have been breastfed so I couldn’t have left them for that amount of time, if you are comfortable with leaving the baby then that’s totally fine and up to you.

For what its worth it probably would be much easier to leave the baby with MIL so if you are happy to do that then do that.

No- I just wouldn’t want to (mother or MIL- husband only). Same way some people won’t understand the cultural expectations you mentioned.

This will probably be the easiest wedding you go to with children for a long time, so yes a good time for it.

If you fancy a break, it's fine to leave baby (I left my first overnight by this stage) if you prefer, but it should be fine to take baby. Your choice really.

For about three or four hours for a local night out, sure. Not fifteen hours spent three hours away from baby.