Take 3 month old baby to family wedding or leave with MIL?

If bottle fed I'd leave her with Mil who is obviously very willing and capable of caring for baby. If breastfed od have tKen baby with me. Enjoy your day off.

I think most people have said it’s very individual and aren’t making a particular judgment about you OP but to be honest you describing people who would approach this differently to you as having a ‘psychological barrier’ or no network is quite annoying.

I wouldn’t have left mine that young. Not because I have a ‘psychological barrier’ (which suggests something is wrong with my approach) but because I breastfed, and because that distance for me would have been too far for me to feel confident and relaxed because I couldn’t have been back quickly in an emergency. I have a great network. Different women just feel differently about leaving a young baby, it’s personal, there are no wrong answers here.

I wouldn't have left any of mine at that age for long because I bf. Also, didn't have family nearby. However, I also think 3 hrs travelling is a lot (there and back or each way).

Most women would still be breastfeeding at this point so no, would not easily leave baby with someone for 12 hours. Even if baby takes bottles of expressed milk, the constant pumping you'd have to do would be such a pain as well, otherwise you'd leak everywhere. But if you can keep up with that, why not, enjoy yourself.

I think this is somewhat judgmental. I left my three month old for that length of time and had - and still do have - an incredible bond with her. I just also liked the opportunity to leave her with my mum on occasion. And yes for a long day. It’s absolutely 100% fine OP if that’s what you’d prefer to do

Take the baby. She's a member of the family after all. It will stop you fretting. MIL will get many more chances to babysit in the future

It’s really up to you. There’s nothing wrong with leaving your baby with MIL if you trust her completely. We left our youngest with my MIL when she was around 4 months old (she came over to stay in our home) so that we could take our other two pre-schoolers away overnight before I returned to work. Only had 6 months off in those days! She was a good sleeper so that made it easier. You should never feel guilty for leaving your child with a trusted carer.

Depends how you feel about it.

Personally I was really anxious and even dad didn't take baby out alone until after I went back to work around 9 months. Even then baby was breastfed so I went to the nursery to feed in my lunch break (was close to my work) for first couple months. I didn't leave baby longer than a working day until 15 months and I went on a hen do for a relative. That was what was best for me.

A friend left her 6 week old with her mum overnight because she wanted to go to a hen do and her husband was working away. That was right for her.

Your MIL shouldn't be 'insisting you leave the baby with her'. She can offer to have the baby if you don't want to take with but their should be no insisting, your choice.

I left 4 month breastfed first baby for a weekend away in Miami so I’m clearly in the “leave the baby camp”, but totally get why others wouldn’t want to.

But be ready for all the aunties and cousins to be mad at you because you didn’t bring him for them to coo over (am also mixed-Asian) 🤣

agree, it sounds like an absolutely hellish day for a tiny baby who’ll probably get overtired and upset being in a car for that long and then being passed around in a loud venue.

I went back to work full time when mine were 3 months too.

The long broken journey would make the day even longer. Certainly wouldn't be putting a 3 month old baby in a car seat for 6 hours in a single day. Let alone having him passed around multiple strangers (to him).

Better to be left where he is safe, secure and happy with his Grandma.

I was working full time from when my eldest was 3 months

Do what you feel/ know is best.
I don’t think it’s too young to leave a baby with someone you know will care for them properly.

What about people who are working?

I've ne we actually got this either.

Many mums work full time with a baby 3 months old. Well - used to. The self employed still do. Lots of people with different lives on this thread who have the luxury of months off work. It was always relatively normal to leave babies with close relatives at 3 months if bottle fed and you fully trusted the relatives! My dc never got sick with their grandma and I never rushed home once.

I didn’t leave my baby all day until he was about 9 months

There’s really no way for anyone else to answer this except to point out that your post sounds very positive about leaving your baby but all your reasons for bringing them is about other people. Only you get a vote so I’d go with your preference and leave the baby with your babysitter.

I have no idea what it would feel like to have either that sort of trust or to leave a baby that little. I breasted nonstop at that age and my husband and I are immigrants so it’s just us and always has been. So I can’t relate to any of this but can see that you want to leave your baby - which is totally fine! Hope you enjoy the wedding :)

OP I’m sorry your post has been derailed. Is there a possibility to take MIL with you and stay overnight. You can go to the celebration, MIL could do some shopping etc in the other town then after a few hours the baby could go back to the hotel with MIL so you can have a few hours of adult time at the wedding.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having time away from your baby at 3 months. Everyone is different, mine stayed at parents from a similar age for various reasons but I don’t think it means I loved my baby less than anyone else who couldn’t bear to be away from theirs (and I’d had multiple miscarriages but personally was comfortable having a night apart) as many have said we all have different personalities, feelings, family dynamics, situations so as long as you choose something you’re comfortable with then that’s the right decision. Hope you have a lovely time whatever you choose to do ☺️

Having a babysitter is not delegating parenting 🙄

My parents had my kids monthly from 8 weeks old. It was good for all involved.

It’s not really unfathomable is it?

If you are happy to leave baby then I'd leave them and enjoy letting your hair down.

Mine did overnights with Grandparents from 6 weeks.

I wouldnt have, because I absolutely could not cope if there was a problem or concern and I was hours away. DC get poorly quickly and I would nto want to be trying to get home under pressure.

I once left dc with a childminder (their usual childcare) and attended a work training event 1.5 hours away. I got messages from the CM saying dc2 was fractious and had a temp, and so I set off for home. By the time I got there the cm was really stressed, dc 2 was really poorly with a chest infection and ended up in hospital for a few days.

That journey home was one of the most stressful of my life. No way would I want to double it and get a concerned phone call about a baby!

Also, if my family were keen to see the baby, I would want to maximise that and take lots of pics with relatives who may not be seen v often or with us forever too. Family weddings are a great 'one stop shop' for catching up with everyone.

I would find it a lot less faff and stress to take the baby to the wedding than not. I don't really recognise the issues you have as at 3 months old and with lots of willing arms I can't see you'd need much gear. I bf though but was a 'sling and boobs, let's go' type.

Are you for real?
You're not sure why people don't want to leave their tiny babies with other people nor delegate the parenting to relatives.

At 3 months old it's only just the end of the fourth trimester, I would not have wanted to be away from my baby for so long nor be so far away from them (and in fact still didn't, well into toddlerhood). I can't fathom actively wanting to leave them with someone else for so long at that age. It's not about trusting others, it's about wanting to be with your baby/child. Everyone is different but your posts read as very cold.