Take 3 month old baby to family wedding or leave with MIL?

It was a sufficient answer, the baby is 3 months old and she is totally secure leaving them with a trusted supportive MIL. The first load of comments were totally judgmental as if she's lacking a maternal instinct so no wonder she feels defensive, I feel defensive on her behalf! She wasn't asking if it was acceptable to leave the baby yet so many of the posts decided to judge her for it.

@TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis Are you saying she doesn’t know how she feels and you know better? She did mention her older child. It’s not on to project fears that others experience when the op really can think for herself. People here think they are gatekeepers and police child care. As I said, many mums go back to work at 3 months. Lots of self employed mums do. Mums do know what’s best for them and we are not all the same.

So many people have jumped on here virtue signalling how they would never leave a baby so young, the baby is 3 months old not 3 days. It's totally inappropriate and unreasonable, plenty of women are back in work by then sadly. OP never asked if it was OK to do it, just which situation would be easier. Going out for a family wedding without baby would be an amazing chance to have a child free day to remember she's not just a mother but a woman, and quite frankly the level of judgement is totally unfair. OP go for it if you want to, let's face it taking a small baby to a big function is just parenting in a less convenient location, the logistics of feeds, changes, naps is a nightmare. You sound very lucky to have brilliant support so take advantage of it and enjoy yourself.

I'm not asking anything. Merely saying that people did and do work with 3 month babies . Even younger in fact. My DS was 4 weeks when I was working after him ( self employed)

Totally agree. I left baby at home with a bay sitter and enjoyed the wedding. Family were surprised but it was good to get out and enjoy myself for a few hours

Also to mention I’d have no problem leaving my baby with my MIL, I might ask her to mind the baby whilst I get ready!

So you are comfortable leaving the baby & MIL is keen to have him.

The only factors to weigh up then are the faff of taking bottles & baby equipment vs the desire for the wider family to meet the baby.

Personally I would take the baby with you. You have talked a lot about communal baby raising so I think it’s important that the baby at least meets his other family members. They are already missing out on a close bond through distance.

On a more pragmatic note, it will probably spoil your day if it’s spent with people asking why you didn’t bring the baby every 5 minutes.

Right, and since she didn't mention an older child, the fact that some people would have found that long away from their babies difficult might have been something she didn't anticipate?

I also understand why she feels defensive, but also nobody said that they had a "psychological barrier" to leaving their babies. She doesn't need to project onto other people. Her question was "what do other people think" - some people think that they wouldn't leave a baby that long when they're that young.

Then she got snippy as if "I wouldn't" wasn't a sufficient answer.

On the contrary - OP is continually asking ‘why’ others wouldn’t feel comfortable doing the same. Followed by ‘surprise’ that others have different opinions.

I’d alway bring the baby but in our families weddings are religious ceremonies and the party is all about 2 families joining and people would be delighted to see a baby, it would be very welcome.

Exactly this - and then wants a pat on the back for having a “suppoortive family network”.

Christ calm down it is 10hrs not 10 weeks for heavens sake.

OP go and enjoy the wedding, the baby will be non the wiser and in safe hand with MIL by the sounds of it.

Yes, I said I guess it happens. Just because I don’t know anyone who went back to work when baby was three months old doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen 😊

Exactly, so they wouldn’t need to be 3 hours away from their baby for fifteen hours for work.

I am not sure what you are asking me as I think we are agreeing?

Nurseries do take babies from as young as 6 weeks-3 months. I imagine they wouldn't take babies that young if it didn't happen.

All of mine started nursery at 3 months.

Yes but there were way more SAHM because a lot of women just couldn’t bear to leave their babies that young if they had the choice

Everybody had 16 weeks maternity leave when my eldest was born, including the time before the birth. It's was absolutely normal.

I would take the baby with me and all the stuff we needed. It’s a family wedding and if many of them haven’t met the baby yet I can understand why they’d be disappointed if he wasn’t there.

As an aside, I wouldn’t be pleased if anyone was “insisting” I leave my baby with them, no matter how close of a relative or how good they are at taking care of my baby.

This is an absolute no brainer to me. I’d take the baby with me. Take sterilised bottles and/ or ask for a bowl of boiling water at the venue. Let them meet the wider family. Either leave slightly early, put the baby down for a nap in the pram (and then the car), or stay over at the hotel and one of you leaves with the baby at a reasonable time (or you alternate).

I don’t know anyone who was working with a three month old baby. I guess it happens.

@TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis The op was not really asking about how other parents felt psychologically though. They have just piled on with their feelings and fears. She’s not got fears or worrries. She knows DS will be safe and he’s bottle fed. It’s more about the long journey really! Twice in a day. That’s why I would take mil and book a hotel or Airbnb. Just easier. Other people’s deep psychological beliefs around their babies doesn’t really matter but they point the finger at the op in a somewhat judgemental way. It’s not needed. Also many clearly are not from the same culture as the op regarding family events so that should be considered too.

If you do take him you can get milk prep systems for when you are "on the go "

E.g. https://www.argos.co.uk/product/1970050

Why would OP be fretting?