Take 3 month old baby to family wedding or leave with MIL?

You’re quite defensive op. Very sharp replies

I would have left my 3 month old with someone I really trusted which sounds like you have. The 3 hours away would annoy me though (6 hours travelling in one day). Could you not stay overnight?

3 months isn't a newborn

Natural mothering instinct. Odd that you seem to not have that!

Who willingly leaves a newborn for that long and to be so far away when they have a choice not too.

As a compromise could you afford to pay for a very nearby hotel for MIL to stay and take baby to the wedding for a few hours so everyone gets to meet them, baby is with you a bit longer and then she comes to pick them up and take back to hotel or one of you drops baby off? As I assume you’ll be staying the night if it’s a 3 hour trip away? I wouldn’t have left baby at that age but no judgement for anyone that does. Enjoy the wedding! Xx

I would do a bit of bith, take baby then ask MIL to do the evening - l did this when my dd was 3 months so we had a baby free evening but everyone got to see her too

I don’t think I’d call it either? They are tiny and know of 3 kind of people - strangers, caring familiar people like grandparents and often dad, and their mum, their universe. A couple of hours sure but after that I want them to be able to wake up or cry or look around and find themselves being cuddled in my arms. Because surely after a couple of hours with someone else they are thinking hmm these aren’t the usual home arms when are those coming back? I don’t call that ‘psychological’ which makes it sound imagined. Of course a 3m baby would want their mum.

And you need to put your foot down right now with an insisting MIL seriously that’s just ridiculous with a 3 month old baby.

Couldn’t leave a baby that small for so long. I wouldn’t actually be going to wedding if it was me.

I really wasn't but if you choose to read that into it then you do you. I do think it can be a different (not better or worse) bond and I have spoken to women who have said they felt a different bond with their formula fed child and their breastfed child (and I was a breastfeeding counsellor and worked in maternity in the NHS for ten years so I've spoken to a lot of women who've fed in a variety of ways).

I think op should do what she wants, if she is happy leaving her baby and would enjoy time away then that's what she should do.

I would say entirely up to you.
All of my three babies were exclusively breastfed so I didn’t leave them when they were that young. I did babywearing at weddings in slings that matched my outfit. Or I installed baby and husband or my mum in a room at the hotel or resort. And I went over and back to feed baby. They could phone me anytime if baby upset, and i would be there in 2 minutes. I enjoyed events much more this way !

Op, go alone and enjoy yourself! I would have been fine to leave mine also!

I hated the packing and paraphernalia! But if you have an easy baby and family help, then it might possibly be fun once there?! And you won’t have to explain to all the aunties where baby is ;-)

You know very well you were insinuating that she felt less of a bond because she was formula feeding compared to the bond you had because you breastfed.

It really sounds like you would prefer to leave him with your MIL (which is totally fine, you are getting too much judgement here). Leave him, relax and just tell other wedding guests that it was easier not to bring the baby. It's none of their business really. other option is to bring your MIL along to so the baby could attend for a bit but then go off with her? And just bring enough bottles you don't have to sterilise?

I’m about to have my 4th and totally get where you’re coming from. As it happens, I am an extended breastfeeding, cosleeping hippie and to leave my baby behind at 3 months would feel like you were removing one of my limbs. I’d feel so bereft I wouldn’t be able to have any fun. However, I have also had some child free events (leaving behind early primary school children with my husband) over the years and I do think you often have more fun. If you can switch off to parenting then it is true headspace and you can have a great time. Personally, I don’t happen to be able to do that at 3 months, but if I could, I would. Go for it if you want to.

My MIL is East Asian and find me baffling, she left her baby in another country for over a year from 6 months (but kept the other child) and her two children were raised by her and her extended family, often in different countries to where she was living. I know she finds it wild that I wouldn’t want to even go on holiday without mine or leave them at all. I think it’s a big loss for her that I won’t do it and against her cultural norm.

Do what you would like to do — if it will bring you more joy to show off your little family bring the baby, if it will bring you more joy to have a day of less responsibility, do that.

I couldn't have left either of mine at 3 months old.

Not RTFT just your replies @Helpboat

i think how this thread has been received and some of the comments both ways is a classic example of what motherhood can be like. Everyone is allowed to and should parent however they want as long as not harming anyone however even if unintentionally, parenting in a different way to others can seem like a personal attack / judgement on others when the reality is - we’re all different and just should crack on with how we want to do things.

Back to your question - I went to a wedding with my 3 month old bf baby and at 3.5-4 months a wedding without them. I enjoyed both but the one without the baby was more enjoyable - luckily our PIL came up to where the wedding was and stayed closeby (so still had to take everything with us) either way.

Re bottles we just took a microwave steriliser with us and some pre-sterilised bottles - all the milk I was using was frozen breast milk though so not sure if there needs to be a different process with formula. If this is really going to be a pain could you afford some pre-made bottles of formula for the day?

For me personally I would take baby purely because of the family factor - if they were unlikely to meeet them soon it would be a case of killing 2 birds. I loved my little one meeting new family esp as mine live far away. But it sounds like maybe you don’t want to take the baby but worried about what family will think - to which I say who cares - just do what makes you happy

I adored my late mum and I love and trust MiL. But there’s no way I could enjoy a party if the baby was so far away, for so long, at such a young age.

But I would not judge you at all for going to enjoy the party - I’d be jealous you are so relaxed you can bear to do it!

Dont bother- OP is a lost cause toy
baffled and bewildered as to why others don’t share her way of doing things. Oh, and thinks are we are bitter and projecting.

Hilarious.

Nor me. At that age they’re pretty easily transportable. OK, there’s a lot of paraphernalia to take if you’re bottle feeding, you just need to be organised.