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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH leaving toddlers alone in the bath

116 replies

Hundredsplendedsums · 24/03/2026 19:01

DC are nearly 4 and 2. DH usually does their bathtime as we have another baby.

The last few nights I’ve noticed him put them in the bath then come downstairs, yesterday it was to look for his iPad and today it was to vacuum the floor! I got really annoyed and said I would not leave them alone, he said I was overreacting and that I ‘do it all the time’ (I definitely do not and would not leave them unattended in the bath).

IANBU am I?!

OP posts:
Simplesbest · 24/03/2026 19:17

marcyhermit · 24/03/2026 19:03

Call the HV and tell her, ask her to speak to him and explain the dangers.

Definitely do not do this you will be reported to social services as your husbands behaviour is neglect.

Sartre · 24/03/2026 19:15

Hundredsplendedsums · 24/03/2026 19:12

My 2 year old has recently learnt to jump and started doing it in the bath, I’m worried it would take seconds for her to slip and bang her head!

Show quote history

Oh yes my DS once stood up in the bath and leaned over to grab a toy. He slipped, cut his chin open and had to have stitches. Has a small scar. Doesn’t help it reopened when he ran across a wet floor on holiday and had to be restitched but yeah. I don’t know why your DH even risks it, he could sit on the loo on his iPad.

Sartre · 24/03/2026 19:14

When I was pregnant with DC1 16 years ago the NHS ran ads in the hospital for precisely this. They showed a mum leaving her toddler to answer a phone call and I think it said “never leave a child unattended in the bath, it takes seconds to drown”.

I didn’t leave my DC alone in the bath till they were about 6. I don’t think I would have done regardless but that ad scared me to death.

Original poster
Hundredsplendedsums · 24/03/2026 19:12

SunSparkle · 24/03/2026 19:09

I have a just turned 5 year old and a 1.5 year old. They bath together. A couple of weeks ago my toddler went floppy in the bath and had a febrile convulsion. Even with the 5 year old there, if I’d not been in arms reach he would have slipped under the water . It happened in seconds an the paramedics were there within 3 minutes. If I’d been distracted and gone to do chores, I’d have missed it.

it’s so important to stay in arms reach particularly with two that are playing and it can get slippy.

My 2 year old has recently learnt to jump and started doing it in the bath, I’m worried it would take seconds for her to slip and bang her head!

OP posts:
Wynter25 · 24/03/2026 19:09

The highest rate of deaths of children. Is drowning in the bath.

SunSparkle · 24/03/2026 19:09

I have a just turned 5 year old and a 1.5 year old. They bath together. A couple of weeks ago my toddler went floppy in the bath and had a febrile convulsion. Even with the 5 year old there, if I’d not been in arms reach he would have slipped under the water . It happened in seconds an the paramedics were there within 3 minutes. If I’d been distracted and gone to do chores, I’d have missed it.

it’s so important to stay in arms reach particularly with two that are playing and it can get slippy.

NuffSaidSam · 24/03/2026 19:09

YANBU

Popping out of the room briefly to grab something, fine. But going downstairs absolutely not. And hoovering...so he couldn't even hear them is absolutely insane!

ErrolTheDragon · 24/03/2026 19:08

Of course YANBU. I’m assuming/hoping the one YABU at this point was a mistake, this is such a bloody basic safety issue. Vacuuming …wtf was he thinking?Confused

BreadstickBurglar · 24/03/2026 19:07

That is to put it bluntly fucking stupid and in your place I’d go ballistic. He only needs to google toddler drowned in bath to see examples every year - and those are just the ones that make the news. See this one for example: https://www.itv.com/news/wales/2024-05-15/toddler-3-died-in-bath-accident-after-she-turned-taps-on-unattended absolutely tragic, the poor mum who also was “tidying up” just like your H.

Original poster
Hundredsplendedsums · 24/03/2026 19:05

There have been a couple of occasions when I have gone into their room to get pjs or realised we don’t have a towel but they are in sight all the time. I definitely would not go downstairs!

OP posts:
CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 24/03/2026 19:05

Completely 100% unacceptable. You’re not overreacting at all, it takes seconds to drown.

IdaGlossop · 24/03/2026 19:04

It's pretty basic that you don't let under fives out of your sight when they're in the bath. Nipping into the next room to fetch pyjamas, fine. It's the work of seconds. Chores on a different floor, definitely not.

Typo

CeciliaMars · 24/03/2026 19:04

This is awful - when he is hoovering he can't even hear if something happens! My youngest is 5 now, and I wouldn't go further than the bedroom next to the ensuite from her. YANBU.

marcyhermit · 24/03/2026 19:03

Call the HV and tell her, ask her to speak to him and explain the dangers.

zeebra · 24/03/2026 19:03

Massively negligent and dangerous. (Especially the hoovering which will block out their voices).

newornotnew · 24/03/2026 19:03

You are absolutely not being unreasonable.

I would find some guidance - ROSPA might have some - and also tell him you are simply not going to back down, because this is over the line into 'wilfully neglectful parenting'.