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Original poster

DH leaving toddlers alone in the bath

116 replies

Hundredsplendedsums · 24/03/2026 19:01

DC are nearly 4 and 2. DH usually does their bathtime as we have another baby.

The last few nights I’ve noticed him put them in the bath then come downstairs, yesterday it was to look for his iPad and today it was to vacuum the floor! I got really annoyed and said I would not leave them alone, he said I was overreacting and that I ‘do it all the time’ (I definitely do not and would not leave them unattended in the bath).

IANBU am I?!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 24/03/2026 20:25

This is a hill I would die on tbh and I'd be getting in his face with decibels coming out of my mouth.

He's a fucking idiot.

Sorry OP, you can't trust him to look after them properly.

MrsF111 · 24/03/2026 20:23

Blimey I would not just be “getting annoyed” I would be going ballistic at your husband. You need to spell it out for him, your children could die in minutes every time he leaves them unattended. Leaving them on the bath is an unforgivable action in my mind.

Daisymae55 · 24/03/2026 20:22

Hundredsplendedsums · 24/03/2026 19:12

My 2 year old has recently learnt to jump and started doing it in the bath, I’m worried it would take seconds for her to slip and bang her head!

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I very valid concern. I’ve had to catch my dd several times when she’s tried that move. If I hadn’t been there she’d have absolutely banged her head on the tiled wall.

I’d be swapping roles so you’re doing the bath as what your DH is doing is incredibly dangerous. Even if it means moving bathtime/feed times to accommodate this.

CheeseWisely · 24/03/2026 20:18

Coming down to hoover!! I’ll admit I have left 2 year old DS to put the kettle on for his bedtime milk but we’re in a flat so the kitchen is literally next door to the bathroom and I talk to him throughout the 30-40 seconds it takes so can hear him talking back. YANBU OP.

WhoamItoday11 · 24/03/2026 20:16

YANBU. I know of someone who's grandchild died in exactly these circumstances. I think the kids were 3 & 5, left alone in the bath and the 3 year old drowned while the 5 year old was in the bath with them. Can you imagine the pain that family is in?

ChocolateSqueezyyogurts · 24/03/2026 20:07

YANBU I got anxious just reading this!

Abd80 · 24/03/2026 20:00

Shedmistress · 24/03/2026 19:30

This is absolutely fucking mental. Is he like, a bit thick?

Either that or this is weaponised incompetence.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 24/03/2026 19:58

How can he POSSIBLY think this is okay? Aren't there still adverts everywhere about not leaving small children alone in the bath (or anywhere near water come to that)?

Pearlstillsinging · 24/03/2026 19:58

Simplesbest · 24/03/2026 19:17

Definitely do not do this you will be reported to social services as your husbands behaviour is neglect.

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What nonsense!

HV will simply explain why that is a bad idea and ask mum to monitor. SS haven't got time to deal with one off minor issues.

Newname29 · 24/03/2026 19:57

Dont let him bath your precious babies. It is neglect

PinkyFlamingo · 24/03/2026 19:57

marcyhermit · 24/03/2026 19:48

It is neglect though?

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Seriously? Of course it's neglect! Children can and have drowned in seconds!

Seawolves · 24/03/2026 19:54

As so many others have said, definitely not OK. He's abdicating his parental responsibilities to a nearly 4 year old who is going to have no idea what drowning looks because lots of adults don't have a clue that drowning is silent and rapid either.

HattiesBag · 24/03/2026 19:54

Jesus Christ.
To hoover?! So he can't even hear them.
That's utterly idiotic.

Show him the (many) stories in the media of toddlers drowning in baths

YourWildAmberSloth · 24/03/2026 19:53

Show him this thread. He's being an absolute idiot!

Abd80 · 24/03/2026 19:50

marcyhermit · 24/03/2026 19:48

It is neglect though?

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Yes

milkhopper · 24/03/2026 19:48

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 24/03/2026 19:20

Drowning is silent, and fast. He's being hugely negligent and frankly I'd never leave him to supervise bathtime again. He sounds the sort to continue to leave them through some perverse need to prove he's right.

I'm afraid my immediate thought was that if, god forbid, something happened to your younger child then your older child would carry that with them for life.

You are absolutely right. The oldest was nearly 4 when her sister died in the bath next to her. Old enough to remember it happening and old enough to remember the paramedics trying desperately to save her little sister.

Only the older one knows what happened when her sister drowned as her mum wasn’t there. What if it was something she had done (knocked her over?) and she blames herself. Too awful to think about.

marcyhermit · 24/03/2026 19:48

Simplesbest · 24/03/2026 19:17

Definitely do not do this you will be reported to social services as your husbands behaviour is neglect.

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It is neglect though?

Trainup · 24/03/2026 19:47

No no no. I always sit with 6 and 3 yo DC in the bath. 3yo once slipped while and I’d grabbed her in less than a second but her whole head had gone under water and her face was just terrified. She was so slippery.. no way would my 6yo been able to get her up like I did. I had been a bit blasé about nipping out for a towel etc but never again! 4 and 2 is just neglect

1000StrawberryLollies · 24/03/2026 19:47

Is your husband a complete idiot?

Abd80 · 24/03/2026 19:47

I actually wouldn’t trust this man with my children again

aBuffetofunreasonableness · 24/03/2026 19:46

At a very best case scenario he is doing this to force you to always do the baths.

Everyone knows drowning is silent and can happen to kids that young in seconds.

The fact he is fine with this risk is bone chilling.

Soontobesingles · 24/03/2026 19:45

milkhopper · 24/03/2026 19:42

My niece left her two little girls (1 and 3) in the bath while she did some chores around the house. She has now only got one little girl.

Please tell your husband from me that he’s a FUCKING IDIOT!

Oh my god. This is horrific. Those poor children. X

Soontobesingles · 24/03/2026 19:45

Does he have any idea how dangerous this is? I occasionally step
out to e.g. grab a towel for DD who is three. DSD was seven or eight before I would leave her for more than 2 mins without checking on her. He needs a reality check.

TomatoSandwiches · 24/03/2026 19:44

I would tell the HV and hope for her or social services contact him so he understands this is absolutely not acceptable, not by your parenting standards but by law it is neglectful.
Tell his mum as well if you think she would be as furious.

I fucking hate men like this, so bloody happy to put their children at risk.

newornotnew · 24/03/2026 19:42

Hundredsplendedsums · 24/03/2026 19:12

My 2 year old has recently learnt to jump and started doing it in the bath, I’m worried it would take seconds for her to slip and bang her head!

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Yes this is exceedingly dangerous, you have to remove them immediately if they do this so they learn standing/jumping = end of bath.