DH leaving toddlers alone in the bath

That’s really sad 😔

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7190401/amp/Sarahs-asleep-Heartbreaking-words-Jeremy-Hunt-uttered-sister-dead.html

https://www.cps.gov.uk/prosecution-guidance/gross-negligence-manslaughter

@Hundredsplendedsums the two yo is too young to be left in the bath alone. Your DH should not be counting the 5 yo as suitable supervision. The 5 yo would be devastated for life if anything happened to the 2 yo.

I even think 5 is too young, but if they wanted independence by that age, I would make them sing throughout whilst I was in the next room able to run in if I couldn’t hear them.

I’m pretty easy going but leaving a child in a bath is so dangerous. It’s like leaving them in traffic. Something goes wrong it could so easily be death. I felt sick reading about some of the stories on here. Imagine coming back from doing some tasks to find your child drowned. It’s a painful thought. And it’s such a preventable accident. Housework can wait.

He’s completely unreasonable. I am afraid to say it on mumsnet, but at that age I did leave my kids in the bath and do chores. But it was get pyjamas or go to the laundry room, same floor, fill the washer come back. Not
downstairs and not out of hearing/more than 30 seconds (I used to count)

I’m a fairly lax parent but would NEVER leave my kids in the bath. So much could go wrong so quickly.

You'd like to think that but you're very wrong. I work within the service and it would totally depend on which health visitor you get on which day. People have been reported for way less than this. You don't know the family's history eg if one of the parents is a care leaver then they'd take this even more seriously or if they check with GP (which they can do) and discover either of the parents has ever had mental health issues.

My almost 4 year old family member died after being left in the bath. ( fairly recently and made the news) It is so dangerous, I’m a fairly relaxed parent but there is no way on earth I would have left mine for even 10 seconds at that age. It’s literally life and death.

Never leave a child in a bath alone, even for a second. Higher risk with siblings present.

The HV will talk through education, warnings and safety, not reporting to social care. However I should think an internet search together will bring up real stories enough to have him never leaving them alone again. You did right in asking on here OP. Now time for that conversation with him.

Agreed. Privacy for a 3 year old (under these circumstances) is strange.

Unbelievable, the man is a complete idiot.

All the above. He is insanely incompetent and dangerous. Make sure he doesn’t do bathtime for the foreseeable future, and he MUST take on board that he is absolutely wrong, no discussion.

My friend was left in the bath when she was little. She turned the hot tap on and was really badly burned and scarred for life.

I hate this. DH used to complain about me wanting things “my way” when DS was small (even as a baby). No. Not “my way”, just THE WAY. Dickhead…

He is probably doing it to get out of ever having to do the job again,

So many horror stories that have happened due to such negligence. I would be concerned about him leaving the 2 year old in particular. A few months ago my 4 year old son was having a bath with the shower turned on, on the floor of the bath. I went in the next room to get him a clean towel because he soaked his with the shower. I left the room for maybe 15 seconds, if that. During that time he had picked up the shower off the floor of the bath which somehow caused the water to get extremely hot. He burnt the entire back of his leg and it blistered horrifically. He was in bandages for weeks. I still feel so guilty and awful. I never leave them to even get a towel or PJs now, not even for a second.

There is nothing more important than ensuring their safety and he would do well to take this seriously. Anything could happen. Its one thing to leave them but to downstairs (!!!) And then start hoovering (!!!!!!!!!!) Goodness me. What was he thinking. Do not back down on this. Maybe you should just do the baths instead, it's not worth the risk.

I'd have been absolutely furious if my DH had left them alone in the bath at that age! But luckily, he's not a stupid arsehole who would endanger his children, so he never did 🙄 bloody annoying for you that you can't trust him with the simple task of bathing his children!

Unless your husband absolutely understands why he cannot do this and you are certain he will not do it again, I think you have to do all bath-times from now on. I'd not let him away scotfree though, he'd be doing some other (new) chore at that time instead.

What are you afraid of? You don’t have to be ruled by a 3 year old. You’re the adult. You’re her mother. The risk of drowning is a bigger risk than her privacy being invaded. At 3 she has to defer to parental experience and authority in these matters whether she likes it or not. You being banished to the stairs by a toddler is ridiculous.

I felt like I should add to this that we only have a shower so DS is in a pop-up toddler bath in the shower tray that he’s too big to lie down (or slip down) in. He’s basically sitting in a big washing up tub. When we move imminently to a place with a full size bath I won’t ever leave him.

Yes he is really fucking thick and anyone not going absolutely mental at their husband leaving toddlers in the bath to go do the hoovering and not refuse to let him anywhere near a bath tub is also really fucking thick

Jesus H Christ, how thick is he?

I still have the scar today (very faint mind) from my epic bath incident aged just about 5.

Same sort of set up, in the bath with my sister, I stood up to reach something off the sink next to the bath - slipped, knocked a razor off the sink, some how dragged my arm across it and twatted my head on either the sink or bath side.

Sister by all acounts sat there, made not a sound (aged 3 and a half) as I slithered into the bath and filled it with blood. Carried on playing with her toys.

Mother had nipped downstairs (a flight and a half) to grab something, she got back juuuust as I was about to slide under the water. She'd heard the bump and yell but in no way had she imagined the horror scene that she walked back into! Had that been longer, by a minute, had she not heard the scream...

That was the end of neck deep (so good) baths and she never nipped out of the room again!

If he CBA to engage with his kids while they are in the bath - play and talk with them, this is quality time! - then why on earth doesn’t he just make sure they’re washed and get them out?

My daughter is 3 and privacy is a huge thing for her at the moment, all part of a new love of independence, so I will step away to draw curtains in her room, lay out pyjamas etc. and then sit on the top stair just out of her line of vision, but I can hear her singing or talking to me/her toys the entire time, and I'm about 10ft away MAX.
If I hear water slosh, I check.
If it goes momentarily quiet, I check.
If she calls me, I answer immediately.
I would never dream of putting a hoover on or even the kettle! Your DH might think he's multitasking efficiently but he is not thinking it through and he really mustn't leave them. When they're 3 and 5 or 4 and 6 maybe a little more, but even then, two together are more likely to tussle, or try to splash or just generally mess around than one on their own. It is a huge risk.