What fresh hell is this

My daughter is just finishing 6th year and trust me it gets better. 1st to end of 4th year is hellish, start of 5th year gets better and by mid 5th year you’ll get your loving caring sweet baby back.

Secondary can be a real shock after primary.

My school did have success with children with SEN, but that was because it was a smaller school (compared with other secondaries) and the protocol was that children would be initially be assigned a Pupil Support Assistant in order to help them with the literal navigation of the building from one class to another and would also be assigned buddies to help them socially.

Even then, the transition was challenging. The region would only assign a full-time PSA for children who who had the most severe difficulties.

The fact that we were smaller than other schools was a big help, however - the heads of department (and often the classroom staff) would get to know the children and the fact that someone knew them name and was willing to help made a difference.

Things weren't perfect. I recall that we had one girl who would seek refuge in the toilets when she became overwhelmed. However, that meant that if she didn't show for class one of us would be called to check the girls' toilets until we found her. As she progressed through the school, this became less of a problem.

For exams, she was allocated extra time and separate accommodation in order to help alleviate overwhelm.

I’ve just terrified myself reading this thread 😂 but it’s also made me appreciate the here and now!
My babies are still babies - age 4 and 1.5 and I am in the absolute trenches right now, but honestly I think I’ll take this all day long over secondary school.

It’s the hardest, longest slog. We are finally nearing the end. It’s been hard, even with good kids. I envy those who sailed through without bother.

Think this is a bit dramatic tbh. Someone isn't going to turn into a monster just from going to high school. It's clearly different these days as theres social media but the biggest thing is mixing with kids she's not been with before

Just nip it in the bud. She's made friends but there are shocking stories. Why are you tapping into all of this? I bet there are some kids in her year who are bullied and being treated really poorly. If your child isn't be thankful and maybe just ignore all the drama and the stories

She's there to learn first and foremost. Not to be a drama queen

Wasn't like that when I was at high school a long time ago

Yeah it’s tough! My experience is slightly different. DD yr8 is still mostly lovely and sensible she just bloody hates high school, and mostly because she doesn’t like most of the other kids! She does have a few friends who all stay away from the drama. Maybe she’s 13 going on 25, I don’t know, but either way I think it’s such a tough age.

Being weird and embarrassing can be a useful weapon against teenagers but must be used sparingly. Often the threat (eg to speak to them in public) is sufficient.

Ugh. Parent of a now Year 11 girl. Hang in there. Years 7-9 were a nightmare. 8 weeks to go, me and dd are so ready to leave high school 😵‍💫.

I have a Year 9/zombie/dragon DD but am recently starting to see glimmers of her coming through it, sometimes she even manages to speak to me without snarling.

Shit.. We're only half way through yr5 primary and I could have wrote this.. f.m.l 🤦‍♀️

Good luck OP, I have friends who tell me similar stories!

We found 12-15 yrs a nightmare with the girl, drama with friends, girls encouraging her not to share ANY information with us (one girl even suggested our daughter move in with her and her mum as we were too inquisitive) a real rollercoaster of emotions. She eventually moved school and we got our girl back (surprisingly she moved to a single sex school and our relationship was a lot better)
Our boy, it wasn’t until 15-17 yrs it became a challenge.
He found school very restrictive, he’d come through Covid and needed to move out of the strict uniform treated like children environment.
Both kids in 20s and it is an absolute delight.
High earners, travelling the world, and still a very good relationship with us.
Keep communication open. Listen. Try not to show judgement (even if you are struggling)
Good luck

@eggsandsourdough
We moved from Scotland to England a few years who. My DS in year 8, the attitude and language is awful. I’m hoping it’s just a phase

S1 year 7
S2 year 8
etc etc
scotland choose subjects for Nat 5 to study in S3 and sit exams S4 (year 10)
england chose subjects for gcse in year 9 to study and sit exams in year 11 (S5)

Scotland S5 & S6 more nat5s highers adv higers
England year 13 and 13 A levels, 2 year course sit exams in yr 13

England have an extra year at secondary school

Oh yes year 5/6 was awful for my DD in some ways, made difficult by one particularly unpleasant ‘popular’ girl.

Yes, what a delight that has been!

DD is year 10 now and so glad Yr 9 is done. My teacher friends told me it was the worst and they were right. A year of mean girls, everyone falling out then being best friends and tears constantly. It is getting better although still hard going. DS is yr 8 so far so good. He is a laid back kid and very easy going. Just dreading next year in case it is the same as his sister!

I am having different experiences with each of my boys.

DS1 was pretty great up until Year 10. Hardworking, good company. Then turned grumpy & embarrassed to know us! Now 17 & is good about 50% of the time. Still hardworking but sometimes forgets parents are human!

DS2 (ADHD/autism) had an amazing Year 7. Won awards, made friends, charmed all the staff. Couldn't have been better. Then he developed epilepsy 😬 Since then academics have been increasingly harder for him, he has lost all his friends & started to get stroppy & rude sometimes. Now Year 10. Still 80% lovely but the times he's not are tough.

DS3 is 12, Year 7. So far, so good, 99% of the time. Working hard, still happy to be seen with me, no friendship dramas. I'm well aware this may change so I am relishing every hug he gives me, long chat he has with me etc 🥰

High School is brutal. DD1 is an oh so sophisticated year 9 and the friendship drama in her peer group and year group is insane!

I cannot keep up with it. One minute it's " love you or love you baby" the next it's X had fallen out with Y and Y is "totes hateful " .

DD, since starting year 9 has a lot more attitude. She is currently up in her bedroom at the moment sulking because I have taken her mobile off her, as she had a load of attitude this morning about being late for the school bus ( we live rurally) because he school bag didn't sit or look right on her shoulder and because her Nike crew socks " are actually my life" and she had to wear plain white crew socks " which have absolutely ruined my life" because madam would not bring her dirty laundry downstairs when asked yesterday!

in her world I am " the worst mum ever" because I refused to get up at the crack of dawn and wash her socks and dry them ready for her 07:45,AM departure! Because as you know any decent parent is up at 05:00 washing their DD's preferred socks, so she doesn't " look tradge" ( uncool) in school.

My daughter started S1 this year. All was going ok ish. Then it started. A few weeks ago she skipped school for the first time. Just first period. Told the school she forgot her bag and had to go home. School bought it. Then a few days later she skipped 4th period. School though she was in the toilet. She had actually left school. Then this week... Fkn vaping

I work in education and I concur.

I went to an all girls boarding school in the 90s and don’t remember too many silly dramas and constant ups and downs. Maybe because we were all stuck in one place we had to get on? Of course people did fall out but I don’t remember what you describe (or perhaps I have blanked it out!) …I suppose my mum was lucky she lived on the other side of the world and didn’t have to hear about any shenanigans

God I have had it easy, I was dreading the teenage years but my 2 boys seem to be sailing through, I was very toughlove mum from the early years, not sure if that helped or just been lucky, they are no angels but not they are respectful at home and at school/college. Lets hope I havent spoke to soon, my approach is lots of love and affection and being open to any chats or conversations they want. But tough when I have needed to be, always parented like that wasnt always easy though. Also I think it depends on who they befriend and how easily influenced they are. I just think I have had it lucky.

Yes, absolutely if I was condoning the use of offensive words with regards to Christianity but objecting to the use of offensive words with regards to other religions then yes, the would be massively hypocritical. Luckily I believe in equal opportunities in terms of being offensive!
You’re probably right in a general sense though.

I do not mean to get off the point of this thread in any way, but I do feel that this comment needs addressing.

Yes, of course, they are just words. Personally, I feel that all religions should be talked about freely. I appreciate that some people are offended by casual use of swear words that are used with regard to their religion.

But it is interesting that offensive terms involving one religion (Christianity) are generally accepted, but offensive terms involving other religions are not.

If I were to use a similar phrase relating to another religion then I am sure that this post would be removed immediately. People talk about 'two-tier policing' and a removal of my post for using a similar phrase would be an example of that.

In fact, I am so concerned that MNHQ would remove my post that I will not post the phrase in full. But if I were to say something equivalent like:

Oh M * * * * * * the f * * * * n * * * *

then I'm sure that the post would get deleted immediately. There really is a two tier system when it comes to religions.