What fresh hell is this

Don’t have a boy but from what I see with boy mums the more common issue with them is less falling out with friends than withdrawal. Going silent so being rude that way not interacting with family retreating to room and over gaming. Not sure what’s worse.

Girls mature faster so tend to ho through this stage earlier. Boys do tend to be more stable with less mood fluctuations anyway. Still can have problems though.

Sorry, I don't know if you're critising me or agreeing with me, it's very unclear.

I've not read the full thread, but from what I can see there's no criticism of Scottish schools in particular, just behaviour of pupils of secondary school age.

I'm in an inner-city school in a major city in an area of huge need - SIMD 1 & 2 mainly- & it is challenging, yet joyous: I wouldn't be there if I didn't like it or the children in it. It's not destabilising education, or means you're a poor teacher to say a particular year group are tricky- particularly last thing in the day when they're writing an essay!

My children went to same sex schools. Daughter very tricky from yr8 to yr 10 ,she then grew up.She is an amazing adult now!
The boys were easy throughout their school days. They had solid friends who all wanted to succeed ,so luckily no peer pressure to piss around.

My daughter was absolutely VILE from y8 - just about last term (y13)

Grim.

sounds botty, tbh.

DD started to become hideous in yr 7 with the crescendo in yr 8.

DS was a delight in yrs 7 and 8 still so I thought I had gotten away with it. But no, no, that was foolish. Yr 9 he turned into Kevin from Kevin and Perry.

They say that teenager have to become monsters so that we’re willing to let them fly the nest off to uni. If they stayed as adorable as when they were toddlers, we’d never let them go!

Personally, I’m counting down the days till they go to uni! They are getting better now but fuck me, I’m so tired!

Dd 13 is year 8, although her big friends group from primary school has mostly split sh/e still gets pulled into drama. Shes never at the forefront but other people drag her in. The teenage girls of today are something else. She tried to stay neutral especially when it’s within the friend group. Luckily she’s made herself another little group of friends where the drama seems non existent. I mean dd attitude has defo raised a few notches and her sass is through the roof but she’s not one for the drama.

Two of my DC are secondary school teachers in Scotland and would wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment.

I think this is much more of a girl thing than you get with boys (going from my experience of two boys). My eldest is 14 and in year 10, youngest is 12 and in year 7 (started last September). So far it’s all been pretty easy going, a few minor hiccups with the younger one and a boy in his class being a bit unpleasant, but nothing that wasn’t quickly resolved (and the kid was unpleasant to everyone so it wasn’t targeted or bullying or anything). They go to a very small school though (~40 children in each year group) which I think helps as more or less everyone knows everyone. Plus my boys are sporty, which means they have lots of friends and teammates rather than just their classmates, and they are both quite kind, easy going, low drama sorts, and don’t seem to ruffle peoples feathers too much.

Theres a lot more drama at my nieces school - she’s 12 and at a big comprehensive. She changes friends on a daily basis and is often in tears about friendship issues. Once heard year 9 is the worst with girls!

My lovely, sweet, kind, emotionally intelligent step son did the same. He was awful for a couple of years but emerged unscathed at the other side, and he’s a joy again now.

THIS

its like an alien takes over their body and then they start returning to a reasonable, happy and pleasant person again.

grit your teeth and just get through it without anything really terrible happening.

it’s worse with girls, boys tend to be more withdrawn, less dramatic! Our experience anyway with 2 girls/1 boy!

Teacher of over 30 years. It used to be Year 9 that were feral. Currently, it's Year 8. Utter bonkers. Also one group of Year 10 but not my other. It's funny, my mum, also a teacher, always says that Year 9 were the bane of her life. My current Year 9s are an absolute delight. Dunno how you parents cope with some of the children I encounter. I often have parents asking me how to deal!

I have a few colleagues who are in this position at the moment. Very challenging young adult DC with lots of issues, they're supporting them practically, financially and emotionally but can't actually do anything to prevent them from flunking out of uni/refusing mental health support/staying in toxic relationships etc because they're technically adults. It seems like a really stressful life stage where there's so much that can go wrong and parents are really limited in how much they can intervene but still end up picking up the pieces.

Something to look forward to 🙄

Many children with SEN flourish at secondary in ways not possible at primary. In a bigger setting they ‘find their tribe’ having felt quite isolated in the smaller pool of primary.
So it’s not necessarily doom and gloom all round. SEN parent and secondary teacher of 25 years here…

My mum started her teaching career in 1971 when she was 21 and taught in a school that had a really bad rep. And still does. Area of high deprivation. Kids throwing chairs at her head. It got so bad that she walked out one day and said she was never going back. But apparently 14 year old kids being gossips is a big deal

Maybe some teachers can't control their classes - my mum learned from that and didn't allow kids in her class to get away with all sorts going forward

This thread is just self indulgent and it's putting Scottish schools down which is a shame

I never caused a teacher problems from the minute I started until the minute I left. Didn't play up or shout at teachers. Maybe if kids aren't respectful - it's on them and their parents

Year 10 DS is breezing through school with no issues. But he does go to a state grammer where I think general behaviour and standards are inherently better.

Year 7 DD (local comp)......FML!!! She's had 'beef' with the ultimate delinquent girl and some lad (who she is also 'beefing' with) called her a c**t today.

DD can hold her own, which is part of the problem. She gives as good as she gets, is very witty, and has great comebacks when someone is in her face, but her language has become utterly appalling. Every day she comes home with some sort of shocking story. She's already had a couple of lunchtime dententions and a half day internal suspension because of her dialogue during the 'beef' with the delinquent girl.

Her behaviour at home is generally good but she now refers to me as bruh, or spawnpoint. I mean nothing could have prepared me for that!

She's always been the more challenging of my two DC's behaviour wise, but it can't get any worse surely?

YABU - the school after primary school (infants and/or juniors) is called secondary school.

Practising teacher of almost 32 years. I concur - S2 😱. I had them period 7 today, 3pm-3:50pm. Oh. My. Lord. I need to be like a smiling assassin with unmovable boundaries, or it's chaos. I cannot let them take an inch!

(Roughly Y8 for south of the border).

I delayed my summer born daughter so she'll be 12 when she starts year 7 so I am hoping it helps with maturity etc especially for exam periods.

Really has been a shock! Her school is a big school 8 form entry 🙈. I really do like the SENCo they gave pupil passport really early on. She has 5 minute early pass, time out pass, ADHD sit and spon chair, movement card, red/green card (red if struggling, green okay), she wont entertain the TA's at break and lunch at quiet break/lunch. And will go into the SENCo office.
A big issue we have is although she has the pupil passport with needs outlined..... not all teachers follow consistently. We had a recent issue where she was unable to use her 5 minute early pass last lesson. This upset her so much that she nearly got run over crossing the road. Was crying, screaming and flapping her arms at home. I got too close too soon and ended up with a black eye. (She is not violent and this was not intentional, but she was that upset).
Luckily we havent had any issues with bullying but her peer relationships are very very limited. I take my hat off to the SENCo because if I was them I would have blocked me 🤣🤣, but they do reply even out of hours and they do try their best.
I will actually be sad to lose the SENCo if/when she moves to another provision, and although she struggles with the school environment I know she will really miss them.
Sorry my reply gor quite long 🤦‍♀️

Oh, thank god op for setting up this thread. DD is in Yr 7. She started with such optimism, but there's been tears most days from some sort of difficulty. I'm exhausted from trying to support her, work full time and have some shred of a life now that she's going to bed later and later.

I naively thought the hard part was the younger years. They definitely were in their own way.

Communication from the school is rubbish. She's getting support of some sort as suspected ASD (I have a late diagnosis). We picked it because of their SEND dept and a good reputation and vibe, but it's a huge, busy and noisy school and I think on top of some awful friendship failures, it's all got too much.

We are thinking of moving her to the (somewhat) smaller school close by or even going private, which would be a stretch. It seems mostly to be sensory difficulties and communication misunderstandings - she is largely a happy calm girl at home.

Wishing strength to those that need it.

I think the younger years are exhausting physically, whereas the tween/teen years are exhausting emotionally. Mine are pretty easy going compared to a lot of the stories on this thread, but I find the burden of any friendship difficulties they experience weighs heavily on me. Their problems are much easier to solve when they’re toddlers!

My eldest is in year 8. He was born an old man so I’m very lucky in that respect. He struggle to adjust as he’s very socially awkward but has a lovely group of friends. He's 13 and a very sensible boy who up to now the worst he’s done is grunt at me. He avoids drama at all costs and gets on well with his work. That said I know it could change at moment!