What fresh hell is this

🤣🤣🤣
It’s been wonderful for all of us.
My relationship with Dd improved dramatically when we had a bit of distance between us, but university was wonderful for her too because it gave her the chance to start again with a different friendship group.

This has made me nostalgic, I taught high school, mainly KS4 for decades. I miss the sweet aroma of Lynx Africa, with undertones of chlorine after swimming lessons. The drama and fallout, the brilliant excuses why homework wasn’t done, my favourite was, “I wrote my essay Miss, it was in the back of the car, and just as dad pulled up to drop me off, a car hit the back of us, so the police came and dad used my essay to write the details down.” This was news to dad, when I called him later!

After picking my crying year 6 DD (ASD) up from school because of a manipulative little bully turning her best friend against her(!) and now having read this thread, I’m now strongly considering home schooling her for high school as I cannot have her going through this alongside her autism, she won’t cope! She just won’t. Shit

Is that because they moved out? 😁

Oh yes year 9 is the trenches. It gets better after that generally.

Teacher here. Year 9 is always the worst. Plus the last bit of Year 8 if they're early starters! Most of them start to grow up a bit in Year 10. Dd was ok - she didn't really hang out with a 'BFFs one minute, screaming rows the next' kind of crowd. I work in a girls' school and there's some drama but definitely less than in mixed schools I've worked in.

Im thankful to have boys tbh, DS currently in year 8 and apart from refusing a haircut, shower dodging and grumpiness that he usually apologises for when he’s thought about it, we’re relatively unscathed.
My friend though has a girl 4 weeks older, same school and it’s practically drama everyday, someone’s always falling out with someone, she was teased at first for wearing something that wasn’t cool (no idea) and one girl in particular seemed to make it her mission to make everyone’s life a misery by pulling strings of the people around them. Her year 7 experience was awful, although settled somewhat now.
Im keeping everything crossed for an easy ish life 😬🥴

My sympathies, I have one in year 8 and another going into year 7 in September. It’s been a ride so far with my eldest. Year 7 was up and down, some minor friendship issues at one point, didn’t always do homework so got a few detentions for that but all pretty standard as they get used to the new environment. Year 8 has been awful so far, lots of behavioural issues, detentions, isolations, comms with the school. Won’t go into the details as I have a thread on it elsewhere but we’re now looking into moving her for a fresh start.

I’m dreading the youngest starting there, but she’s excited as all her friends are going. I worry she won’t cope, she seems way younger and less mature than older dd was going into year 7, but I’m sure she will surprise me. I just hope things go a little smoother for her than dd1.

I found my boys were absolutely fine, my DD on the other hand - never thought I'd miss the toddler years but here we are!

Parent of a year 8 here (Scottish S2 according to google) and all I can say is… HELP ME! 🤯

He used to be such a sweet boy (and no I’m not biased, everyone said it wherever we went, he was super popular in primary and every primary teacher LOVED him) but now I swear he’s watched Kevin and Perry and must think it’s a documentary that’s shown him how he should be leading his life!!

Wait til year 9 … hell on earth, starts to improve after that … marginally

I've twins boy and girl due to start in September. This thread isn't helping!

DS1 is nearly finished, one more year. He is already 18 and secondary school has gone well for him. No friendships dramas and he is a good student. But he was a little shit from the age of about 9 so the bar was very low. When his friends parents were pulling their hair out with bratty 14 yr olds I was so used to it that I hardly noticed the change. Since about 17 the difficult behaviour abated. It helped that we were liberal (relatively) and he had well behaved friends so we rarely said no to things. Maybe it was parenting fatigue. When every little moment involves an argument you tend to give in easier for a peaceful life. We got lenient on screen time and going to teen discos or out in town, luckily it paid off and he was very responsible and always texted as agreed or came home on time. Never drank much or took substances. Works his ass off at school and is very ambitious and self motivated. I don't think I've ever told him to go study. I wish I could take credit for the nice lad he has turned into but i honestly feel so much of it was luck. Living in a nice area has a lot to do with it. It's neither rough nor snobby and the local school and area is full of ordinary middle income families with very little trouble.

PS

Keep DD away from Snapchat, if possible.

Yes, I was 17 when I started university. It didn't feel it at the time, but I was far too young looking back! My kids are summer babies, which means they will turn 18 the summer they finish high school. That's another key difference isn't it, because unlike in England they will not be amongst the youngest in their year group.

Retired Scottish secondary school teacher here.

S2. That's all I'm saying...S2. whimpers

My lovely, sweet, affectionate, articulate DS is now 14 (Y9) and will NOT get up without an hour of battle, grunts, gets detentions and doesn’t se to care, answers back, is defiant, eats and sleep and grunts and not much else.

I am praying this phase doesn’t last too long and he gets his shit together for his GCSEs 😞

Had an awful time with both my children going through high school. Some of the kids were just absolutely vile to each other.
Has always been a tough period to get through but I think with the invention of social media and mobile phones, it's got far far worse.
I home schooled my daughter for the final 6 months and she sat her GCSE's as an external candidate....it got that toxic and was affecting her education!!! Good luck and you have my sympathy.

I have heard that it gets better in 5th year and to be honest not sure how it could get any worse than right now!

I've just had a lightbulb moment too that whilst Scottish kids are older when they go into S1 than English kids are in Y7, England has an extra year of secondary school and that's why Scottish kids starting university are often younger than their English counterparts.

Yes exactly that @GlasgowGal2014 ! The age cut offs align with the school year from 1st September to end of August. So most will be 16 or nearly 16 in year 11 went they take GCSEs and likewise 18 doing Alevels at the end of year 13. Biggest difference due to the extra year at high school is that everyone is 18 when they go to uni whereas some Scottish kids are still 17.

That’s what happened to me, I was dreading it as I had an awful time but none of that came about for mine, thank god!

That's really helpful thanks. I am in Scotland, but have teenaged family in England and can never get my head round when they are going to be sitting exams. From this it sounds like they sit GSCEs in the academic year that they turn 16 and A-Levels in the academic year that they turn 18?

S1 = Yr7 etc although in Scotland the kids are slightly older so they start S1 when they're all at least 11.5 and some are already 12. In England yr 7 kids will all be 11 turning 12 from 1st September as they enter yr 7 (and some will only just have turned 11 in the August as they go to high school).
GCSEs in Yr 10 & 11
A-levels Yr 12 & 13

A friend teaches in an all girl's secondary and concurs. Her dream job would be in a sixth form college.

I had a terrible time at seniors between ages 12-14, after that it was ok but it left mental scars for years. Luckily my own kids pretty much sailed through seniors without incident.