AIBU to call MIL again after she disinherited all grandkids?

This may be completely wrong OP but how well do you know the "house help"?

I know of an ex friends family member who started to behave a bit like this. Cutting of close family members for what seemed like zero reason. It was discovered that the "friend" that was helping them often was actually drip feeding stuff like the family didn't care, weren't there as often as she was, obviously didn't give a shit about them. Almost like an abusive relationship, isolating from the family etc. The family had been present but all had young families and FT jobs. They did keep in regular contact though and somebody popped in every few days.

Turns out is was all grooming for financial gain. Family member bought them ("friend") a car, paid for a holiday for them as apparently the needed a break, always paid for lunch etc if "friend" took them out and a large cash xmas gift.

I went NC with my friend so I have no idea how it ended. I wouldn't be surprised if the will had been changed.

I know a PP said her she was told a change in will would be easy but this is not my experience. My grandmother changed hers a couple years ago and it required multiple meetings in person with her lawyer to discuss the changes, review new will, have it officially signed. This is not something that would have been done on the phone.

Also, for mine it took a very long meeting, reviewing documents via online portal and then again in person with our lawyer and signing paperwork.

I would assume she’s just saying she is taking them out of the will as punishment but it’s actually following through.

What's a "house employee"?

Sorry if i've got the wrong end of the stick but I've never heard that term before.

If you aren't in the UK ("house employee"?) it will limit the usefulness to you of replies

I very much doubt she has rewritten her will twice in a short space of time, it sounds like she’s saying it for dramatic effect.
My Grandmother used to say it all the time, everytime we didn’t agree or tried to stick up for ourselves we were going to be ‘cut out of the will’.
We didn’t much care and told her to crack her, if she had done it every time she had threatened whoever was rewriting each time would have been able to take early retirement based on the fees!
My Grandma was a proper matriarch of the family, grew up in poverty and worked hard, multiple jobs to send some of her children to Grammar School/pay for uniforms as she was widowed in her 40’s.
Because she had always been in charge she liked to control and have her say, and that’s why she was a tricky lady to get on with.
I would take what she is saying with a pinch of salt, keep an eye on her if she’ll let you and don’t worry about the inheritance.
Has she always been a bit tricky or only since losing your FIL?

Namechangdforthis
Leave her be
If she's disinherited everyone that's her choice
Remember to some that money = power over people/scenarios
And she's not being fleeced by her carers So no problem there
And as you yourself said she has a temper combined with a selfish streak.....
Who says the GC would've got anything anyway?

I would leave it to your husband and his sister, it’s their issue, she’s their mother.

I wonder if it might be an idea for either of her children to contact her GP and say that they're concerned about her behaviour and possible signs of dementia.

A lot of replies are talking about the will but as I read it the will isn't your main concern. You're concerned that she's cutting people out of her life. The will is just the tool she's using to do it.

Legally they may have a claim if the husbands money went to the wife.

You are on Mumsnet so I assume that there is a good chance you have children? If so don’t you want them to inherit your house and any money?
I spend loads on my adult’s children already but I also hope there will be something left for them when I am gone and it’s not all been spent on care home fees.
Provided they don’t bump me off for the money I have told them to scatter my ashes in the Caribbean, I don’t want my remains on a cold hill in the Uk.

Seriously?? You'd want to continue a relationship with someone who had made the point of cutting their grandchildren out of their will just to spite their dad? I wouldnt bother.

it can. Late DH and I wrote our wills and got them signed and witnessed over around 4 days because we needed to. The lovely solicitor understood our circumstances and said that if we needed to change anything quickly after our circumstances changed again, we could just go in and it could be done there and then. He said while its still possible to add codicils, because wills are now written on computers and a digital copy is stored (it means nothing, its not signed or witnessed) its very easy to make changes. This was some 16 years ago.

Has she cut the gc out of her life or just out of her will?

Can't you just leave the will out of it and try to have a better relationship with her regardless?

I would turn up at her house and talk to her gently in person. It could be grief, she is angry with everyone and so acting irrationally. It could be dementia (how old is she ?) . It’s so irrational to cut off all your loved ones over very minor disagreements, that there is clearly something wrong.

{s it inheritance week on Mumsnet? So many threads about inheritance, and entitled people wanting to claim their share before the person leaving the money actually dies.

She doesn't sound well. You know by instinct that this isn't like her, OP, so you'll do the best you can, I'm sure.

You leave it for your Dh to sort. I am NC with my mum. Between them, my mum and stepdad have cut off all their children and grandchildren for various made up transgressions (the real reason is much worse, but not the story they tell people about why each of us is awful). I’d be annoyed if Dh went behind my back and was meddling. I suspect this is the grand finale of a long history of poor behaviour that will only make sense in retrospect one day.

No one is entitled to any inheritance. I’d just let her get on with it.

This really could be early dementia. Part of the angry phase. Have the carers been manipulating her? Giving her false information?

You say that she is sad and grieving, and shows signs of dementia? Assuming she's always been nice before, it seems really mean that people are saying bad things about her. No, that behaviour is not ok, but people in pain/with dementia can't be held responsible in the normal way.
I'm not saying phone and be nice just because she'll will your kids money, but because it's the right thing to do-she raised the man you love and you wouldn't have your kids without her.

Personality change in my relative was the first sign. Look up ‘sundowning’ too. Some carers were ‘helpful’ in allowing relative to give them expensive items too. It would be useful to know who she is talking to.

How often would you see her/contact her in the normal course of things before the falling out, @Namechangdforthis ?

How do you know? I have only mentioned the intention of leaving an inheritance to one beneficiary.

No worse than family threatening to disinherit people as a weapon. I say leave her to itm if she wants to leave her money to the cat sanctuary and live out her days alone that's up to her. Let her get on with it

Were they so upset that they turned down the inheritance?

Has she still left her money to her children though? Presumably her children can then gift them as much of their own inheritance as they see fit?