Overreacting or not? 🤔

You aren’t a brat but the behaviour was petulant.

I grew up with a parent that didn’t like most gifts so, even though you said you went through the motions in front of the kids, they will pick up on it and start to dread these occasions.

if you are still angry after this long then perhaps you need to look at whether staying married is something you want.

Although I have realised that apparently nobody is satisfied with any Mother’s Day offering

So you have been mulling this since Mother’s Day.
Do you think he spent all that money just to annoy you? Genuine question. I know it was the wrong stuff and that’s one issue but we know from here that those who say they just want a card and a bunch of daffodils then complain that they didn’t get much

I got a £1.50 Easter egg which was a last minute purchase whilst I was at work so you were pampered in comparison

I think you have (probably unintentionally) been pretty martyrish OP. Asking for a bunch of £1 daffs is pretty Martaryish-an extra £24 isn’t going to dent your holiday savings.

that said, it’s annoying when you get bad gifts as it makes you feel like no one really knows you

I wouldn't call this trying. He's ignored what the OP asked for and got her things he should know she dislikes. He has clearly put very little thought into it.

He got everything wrong. Does he always get it wrong?

Yanbu but you don't need to share every emotion you feel. Pretend to be happy and grateful and move on with your life its not that deep

YANBU

All he needed to do was listen to what you asked for after all!

Theres no point going off on a frolic and spending more when you’ve asked him not to for a good reason, and when he should know your likes and dislikes by now. Sounds like he’s hit all your dislikes.

Stuff like this really upsets me when my Mum does it tbh - it’s like they’re not listening to you at all/ don’t know you at all!

You asked for cheap flowers, he got you expensive ones. You liked macarons once so he got you some, but the wrong flavour. At least he tried! I got 2 cards my DC made at school.

Yanbu.
You explicitly said what you would appreciate and he ignored it and bought stuff you have no interest in and actually dislike because even after 20 years he hasn't a clue.

If he actually cared about what you wanted and listened to you, this could have been all avoided.
He didn't.

I get what you mean, kind of

Its seems as though the image of the gesture was given more thought than what you'd actually want or like

But you have to let it go - you'll just come off badly

Separately - Ime people who love the image of a gesture tend to be really kind outside but a terror to live with 😕

Your marriage is in trouble. This is a symptom of that as if it were a good marriage you would not have been enraged by the Mother’s Day gifts he got you or the fact he spent almost £50. The lemon macaroons are a red herring, the real question is why do you suspect he was passive aggressively trying to disappoint you? Where are these feelings coming from? There must be background to this.

YANBU - it's not the thought that counts if there was no thought. He just spent money. Anyone can do that.

This reminds me of when I was younger & my dad trying to make a nice gesture for my mum by getting her a box of matchmakers. Instead of getting the mint that she always had, he got her the orange instead. She went mental! 😂

Think yourself grateful you got something.

Lots of us mums didn’t.

I thought we were done with the Mother's Day moaning threads but you slipped one in on the sly, you little rascal OP 😉👏

I find these things very hard. It’s hard to be grateful when gift after gift reminds you of how someone doesn’t know how to be thoughtful about your likes and preferences. Yet he/they have been thoughtful enough in trying to get it right! I can see it from his pov in that way. It depends how you have reacted, I think it’s ok to say I really appreciate the effort you’ve gone to, it’s just the flavours are not my cup of tea. And move on.

It's the fact he didn't listen to you OP that is the upsetting part.
And actually chimes with the gifts being things you specifically did not like and which, if he normally listened to you or took notice of you, he should have known

So yes you are justified in being upset because he went through the performative gesture of Mother's Day without bothering to give a caring and appropriate gift.
And given that what you actually told him you wanted should have been so easy to get it makes it even more insulting.

Are we supposed to be grateful for something we didn't want instead of the thing we DID want and very clearly said so now just because at least we got something?
Thats a low bar

yanbu he did the bare minimum

I’d be pissed off. It’s as though he’s bought the first things that came into his head without any care for your preferences. It’s careless and pointless.
In your place I’d feel like he doesn’t even know me or care to know me and it’s hurtful.

Surely he has some idea what his wife of 20 years likes and dislikes?! And the one simple little thing that she specifically asked for, he didn't get. Jesus, it's not that difficult!

OP you are not being unreasonable!

Jesus are we still being ungrateful princesses about Mother’s Day? I found these threads depressing at the time…