Gift from Dad - now he wants it back?

No please don't. Think of it as your late mum's gift to you - and not to be given to his new wife.

Tough titty!.. Sorry df but the money has gone.
End of conversation..
Trying to claw back his dead dw's cash to spend it on new gf is a bit tasteless no?

Does your dad need to borrow back from both you & your brother?

No, tell him you are sorry but all the money is tied up
It was money you inherited from your mother albeit it came from your mum.
As he is in a new relationship there is no guarantee you will get the money back.

Even with a timescale, there would be no guarantees. They would be asked to sign it away as a gift for the house purchase. So officially on paper, it would be a gift not a loan. If dad dies, they get nothing back. If he changes his mind or the wife changes his mind, they get nothing back.

This happened to me. I was advised not to return it as if your dad dies before the 7 year period you will have to pay inheritance tax on the amount he has given you and again on the amount you have returned to him.

So he doesn't exactly want it back & it will be repaid, but who knows when?

If you haven't got it then you haven't.

Even if you had without a timescale of when you would get it back a no still wouldn't be unreasonable imo.

Do you know if your dad has protected his money so it goes to you and your brother? Or will the new wife get everything?

It’s just too risky to hand the money back. Even for your brother if he has it. He shouldn’t have to .

Do you have a good relationship with your brother? Can you talk to him and explain that you don’t actually have the money as it’s gone on uni fees etc for the kids.

If he is wealthy, maybe he’d be able to make
up the shortfall and he gets that back when your dad dies before the rest is split between you? But it’s not his job to pay for this either. Your dad is being very unfair.

I'd tell him I'm sorry Dad, I thought this was a gift for our family. I've put it in a pension and it is tied up - it can't be accessed unless quite a large tax bill is incurred. That's shit of him, I'm not surprised you feel upset.

And also now he is married again, that might be all the inheritance you get.

What will happen to our relationship if I don't? This stood out to me most from your OP. I think either way it could damage your relationship with him, as you will no doubt resent him for doing this for something entirely unnecessary.

He's asking you for a loan.
Try and forget about the money he gave you and think if you afford to loan him money.
For all he knows that money he gifted you is long gone so almost remove it from the equation.

You don't owe him a loan because of the gift. You can just say you haven't got that amount spare.

Or come up with an agreement on paper where he pays it back by a certain time. If you can afford it or some of it.

Do you trust he'd pay you back? Obviously if it's got paperwork and he doesn't would you be prepared to go to court over it?

I’m on team ‘tell him it’s tied up’. If the partners house will sell soon, that solves the problem.

if DB is very wealthy could he lend more?

Nah, its all tied up.

Point out that this is exactly what bridging loans are for. If he tells you neither he nor she can get a bridging loan, then that suggests the bank think they're not a safe bet... why would you think they are?

Of course it is the perfect home. People get very emotional when looking fur houses and then they get pressure from estate agents.

OP say that it is tied up. This was really your mother’s share of the pot.
Can your father’s wife not borrow from her own home.

Oh I’d be a bit gutted about this, and tbh you won’t get it back. With the best will in the world, if you do this you’ll be back in a few months with a thread on how your dad gave you a gift with your mum’s inheritance, asked for it to be loaned back and is now refusing to repay you.
I would see this as your mum’s money and I wouldn’t free it up. You made very sensible plans and I don’t see why you should have to have to bear the consequences of their choices.
Saying he shouldn’t have given you so much of your mum’s estate so he could spend it on his new wife is hurtful.

There are many perfect homes and another one will come along. The UK is going into recession and if you watch the property pages you will know that there is a problem is some parts of the market. There is no way you should undo your investments. Let your wealthy brother 'loan' your dad more money. By the way, what is wrong with your dad's current home or indeed what is wrong with his new partners home?

I'd decline. There are ways and means of moving whilst waiting for a house to sell. And there is just waiting for the house to sell.
Tell him it's all invested, just as Mum would have wanted. You can't take money back out of pensions.

As others advised before just say it’s tied up and can’t be accessed.

I know people remarry once they’re widowed but if this were me I wouldn’t have your late mum‘s money feathering the plush nest of another women - I know well I sound petty 🤷‍♀️

The two lovebirds will have to figure it out themselves - be prepared to be passed over when an inheritance comes and the new wife to pocket it all.

Just say you can't access quickly or easily because it's invested and it will be a massive PITA to have to take a huge chunk out now. I don't really understand the issue. Why can't they just wait until her house is sold to buy one together? They clearly are not hard up. I suspect she's found a house she wants and is guilt tripping him to move forward with it immediately instead of waiting for their two property sales to go through.

If it’s the perfect house and it will only be three months then a bridging loan should see them through? If they don’t want to do that because of the risk of it not being three months then that will be an interesting answer…

But agreed with the other posters, say the gift is tied up in your pension and not accessible until aged 55!

Maybe he could ask your brother for 2/3rds back, if your brother is sufficiently well off...