Gift from Dad - now he wants it back?

Don't get yourself entangled in someone's else's financial affairs.

Your Dad is not going to be upset with you, he just asked if you could lend it as he thought it might be possible. Get back to him and suggest that he gets a bridging loan instead.

He's obviously lying about the 3 months because the house isn't even under offer yet.

Don't get sucked in, just decline. You will feel better after you've told him.

I’d lend if it were just him, but I think it muddies the waters now he has a second wife

What has he done about rewriting his will?

I think people also doubt the dad will end up paying the Op back

Honestly I would say that you dearly wish you could help, but you put it in trust funds for the kids/the pension and none of it is accessible now.

I agree. I wouldn’t be giving it to him.

I would say it’s all tidied up or that it’s been spent/ put into your mortgage.

In fact it will probably turn out this is your Mum giving you the money. If he has remarried and especially as he’s now sinking all his money into a house with his new wife, if she outlives him his whole estate will likely go to her. So it’s a good job he did give you some money when he did!

If you invested 4 years ago, you won’t be ‘selling at a loss’ you should be a minimum of 40% up, the previous 4 years have been exceptionally good to most investors, assuming a globally diversified portfolio.

This is difficult because he helped you out and now he’s asking you to help him out for a short period. So if you say no, it will damage the relationship. I would help him. I don’t see it as he is trying to control the gift or ask for it back he’s Simply asked to borrow money for a few months,

Are they getting finance for the purchase? If so you will have to say any money 'loaned' is actually a gift, so no guarantee of getting it back

But it doesn't stop you asking your brother if he's willing to loan your dad the money he needs. If your db is wealthy he probably doesn't mind especially as it is a loan. He just needs to get the proper paperwork in place so that if something happens to your dad before he's repaid the loan then he will be reimbursed from his estate. Might seem callous but it avoids any potential future disputes.

Lending something to someone you trust for seemingly a short period of time is not prioritising anyone.

I missed that some of the money is in pensions so yes that money is effectively spent. I'm still of the same mindset though IF I had the money and it was a loan. I wholly trust my father but appreciate some people don't have that relations with their parents

I wouldn't, OP. Who knows how long it will take his fiance to sell her home. Better to put both houses on the market and live in the one that takes longest to sell.
I'd say really sorry Dad, but the money is all tied up and can't be released at short notice.

Agree. "Sorry dad I put it in accounts for the kids and can't access it." He doesn't need to know it's "can't morally" take it from them rather than "can't legally."

It was a gift from your mum via your dad. Now he wants your mums gift back to give his new women. Don’t give it back op.

I also vote for telling him it's all tied up (and it sounds like that is pretty much the truth).

I think it's not fair on him to ask - a gift is a gift. You can't then ask for it back. As you say, if it was for an operation etc. I'd see it differently, but this seems unfair.

God forbid something happened to him - it could all end up belonging to his wife. Even if she's nice, money matters get very messy, very quickly. You may never see it back

He gave it to you. Its yours. If he regrets it now thats tough. He will have to wait until his new wife has sold her house. He wont give you the money back in a few months time if he thought he gave you too much in the first place.

My Mum gave my sister 30k in cash to look after for her while she was in hospital. Apparently once the money has been given to someone to hold them it's theirs . So the money your Dad gave you is yours .
Vice versa too the money you give your Dad is his .
Unless you ring fence it @cashquestions.

I get it. But I wouldn't be happy about it. What if something happened to your dad (god forbid) before he paid the "loan" back. Especially as it will be tied up in a house jointly owned by him and his new wife. Excuse my cynicism but I'm old and I've seen too much go wrong over the years.

I’m team tied up.
While I understand that your dad made the gift to you I strongly suspect that your mum would prefer that the money goes towards her grandchildren’s education rather than a perfect house for your new step-mum.
There are bridging loans if they are needed.

I would say no to this as it isn't something important that he actually needs, more like a luxury purchase. Also the gift was from your Mum, not intended to spend on his new wife. If they need the money from sale of their home they can just get bridging finance.

@cashquestions "He very kindly chose to give some to both of his kids (my db is quite happy to lend the money back, but he is very wealthy)."

Well if that's the case and your brother is genuinely wealthy, then why can't he lend the whole lot?

Im not sure how asking to borrow money from his daughter counts as shitting all over her. If the OP has asked for a loan would she be shitting all over him?

And I would damn well hope he has some loyalty to and feels some responsibility for his second wife. She's likely the one that'll be seeing him out with all that entails.