Gift from Dad - now he wants it back?

This in spades. Just say that the money is locked in.

It'll be his preferred choice because it won't cost him, there won't be financial penalities if he doesn't repay as agreed, there will be no interest, and whoever they are getting a mortgage from won't take into consideration the repayments as it will be down as a gift.

But if the OP has already invested it and made plans based on having this money, to then have to give it back will cost her, even if he were to repay as agreed on the nail.

No decent parent would want to cost their child!

It’s for her dad too, not another woman’s comfort. This woman has a house to sell, she isn’t trying to scam anyone. He is simply asking his DC for a loan. I don’t see the issue personally but OP isn’t going to help him out so guess he either pays extortionate bridging loan or he buys something else. Nothing wrong with him asking - he isn’t asking for the money back completely. His circumstances changed, he should have just kept the money for himself as it was his inheritance anyway.

No, the market is absolutely NOT fast moving! It's not 'dire' but it really tanked last summer/autumn and isn't recovering.

It is not his ONLY choice, it is his PREFERRED choice. Probably because he knows that it will not be for three months only and expects to be pestered less by family than he would be by a bank.

Even if his new wife already has a buyer lined up (has she?) it can take an age to sell a house; and what if there's no interest from buyers? What then? What if the buyer changes their mind? What if the current financial environment in this country gets even worse and they lose their job and pull out? What if the buyer is a gazunderer? And that's even assuming there is a buyer on the horizon!

"it's the 'perfect home' and they don't want to lose it."
Then he needs to go and arrange some bridging finance, not pressure his daughter into disadvantaging herself and her children.

You have done the sensible thing with the money gifted to you - you have it invested to meet the needs of your children. It is not accessible, it is not available for lending out.

The answer is 'no'.

I think you have to do what you think your mum would have wanted as it was her money. I know it was a gift from your Dad but he inherited it from her…
I think it’s far more likely she would want you and her DGC to have it!

I'm aware of the purpose of the loan. Given that the house is for them both, he's not giving his wife money. Why is share in inverted commas? Perhaps don't refer to her as 'the wife'?

He is giving is wife money, he's told the OP she'll be paid back when the wife sells her property. The loan is for the new wife to cover her 'share' towards the new house they want to buy.

It's for them both; he's not giving his wife money. Your post sounds so misogynistic.

How was he generous 'in the first place' if he's asking for it back and expecting it to be available? Come off it.

It was a gift. You don't ask for gifts back.

If you don’t have money for your son’s rent, then the interest from a bridging loan will be a lot more. i just can’t imagine refusing to help my father out like this, when he was so generous in the first place. Others have said that was your mums inheritance to you, but legally it was your dads and generous of him to give some to family. Guess he never expected to need it. Hopefully your brother will help him out.

The new house is want and not a need. The couple already have two houses, one of which OP has described as being a nice house. I wouldn’t dream of giving my dc an unexpected student loan so that my new step- mother could move into a new house a few months quicker.

All tied up/spent

Your son is fortunate he’s getting uni paid, so i’m sure a small loan won’t hurt. You can always repay when you get the money back.

it can be hard to find a house that meets your needs, so can understand him reaching out to try and secure it. Your dad’s circumstances have changed and I think it’s pretty mean to refuse to help him secure a home they want to buy. I guess he will have no choice now to see what the market is saying when his new wife has sold. Sounds like your dad has been very generous and would be planning to return the money. Shame you’re refusing to help him out.

Tell him its all tied up and you cant access it
If they want their perfect home then they will have to get a bridging loan

I really disagree.
Why should money from her mum be spent on another woman’s comfort rather than her dc?
Lending money in family is a really bad idea and adding in a step- mother makes it far more difficult.
Dad has the option of a bridging loan, asking really wealthy son for money or simply waiting until he has enough money and then moving.
He should not be asking for a gift back, particularly not one based on the death of his wife and OP’s mother.

100% agree.

Well i’d have to give it back. He will re-pay it and at the end of the day, his circumstances have changed since he gave that gift; and he’s asking his children for a short term loan. You’re going to say no sorry, i’ll lose out on interest or it might be 4 months not 3. Yes you may have to use some of your own money for your son’s rent payment, but assume you can do this.

it’s probably taken a lot for him to ask you both, and its not like he is being reckless. He wants to secure a house that they’ve found. He is thinking he was too hasty in giving the money, and he probably was. He isn’t asking for it back completely. Your decision; but yes it will impact on your relationship if you say no. Not sure why you’re saying it will impact your relationship either way. Can you not see why he is asking? They want to secure that house, in a difficult market, and asking you both is his only choice. Harsh to hold that against him. He wasn’t to know where life was going to take him.

I also think it's for the best if only one sibling lends money, then there can be no question of it being returned.

.

If he puts that money into a house for he and his wife, that means it's going into a marital asset.

He's ok with taking from your kids so his new wife can have a different house a few months sooner that if they wait for their own homes to sell.

Your updates have changed my mind. I think you need to lend it back to him. He’s had a generous thought, and has given you money that he couldn’t really afford as it turns out. Your mum’s money is rightfully his after her death.

Hes done something kind but misguided. I think it’s a bit shit to realise this, and say “tough. It’s mine now” especially if you value your relationship with him.

If your DB is so wealthy & happy to give the money back, maybe he can lend/give them what they want for the new house.

its not a gift if he thinks he can just ask for it back.

what if you'd spent it all

just keep saying you can't, it's tied up as you've been financially astute with it. If he goes on about not tying it up in case if an emergency, just say, you thought it was a gift to you, not a loan.