Just found out my husband of 3 years has been cheating for the past 18 months

Omg! He got someone else pregnant while you were having IVF.

Send him home immediately. Tell him to put a walk up flight on his credit card. Tell him to get the fuck out of your house by the time you come home. Use the holiday to prioritise yourself and start healing.

Dump his ass. Find a hot waiter to enjoy before you go home

Please book a flight home asap. There is no point in torturing yourself trying to speak to this excuse for a man. Go home and get some love and comfort from friends and family.

Look after urself op

As PPs say, I’d book myself on a fight home. Don’t tell him you’re going, just do. Dont buy his ticket, just sort yourself. Take the bear minimum stuff if you have to - just go.

You’ll appreciate the break from him (and maybe even the longish flight!) and have time to get your stuff in order at home. Don’t speak to him, his family or the ow again. You decide next steps - whether that is telling him he isn’t welcome home or otherwise - but wait til your home and in your own thoughts to figure that out.

Just get out. Do not entertain him. It's over.

Oh OP this is just horrible. You must feel so bewildered and betrayed.

I can't stress this enough; go home. Yes the long flight will be rubbish. Tell people at home what has happened then get yourself to the airport and put some distance between yourself and this man.

Once you're back, and with the support of people who care about you, you can consider your next move without his behaviour influencing you.

Please don't stay in another country isolated with this man right now.

Sending you love - I went through IVF and it does a number on you even when everything is good.

Oops sorry meant your soon to be ex husband.

that is classic manipulation 101, my daughter fell pregnant and he threatened to kill himself if she didnt abort the baby. please please please dont fall or listen to his bullshit any longer. run

it was a joke to try and lighten her stress, it was from the film the other women lol

Is she married? She's happy to ruin other people's lives so that, of course, is not a consideration. And you are certainly helping to ruin her husband's life if you don't tell him

She could well be diseased, as could your soon to be ex boyfriend. She is a lying, treacherous user - just like your soon to be ex is. She is not safe to be around - just like your soon to be ex boyfriend.

It is ethically very wrong indeed not to tell her poor husband if she is married.The only reason not to would be fear of someone being harmed or yourself being harmed.

Tell him.

And get yourself a different hotel room, of course you will feel sorry for a cringing, whining dog licking its balls in front of you - so don't look at it or listen to it. Just get yourself as far away from his possibly diseased self as possible.

Get a different hotel for yourself and let pay.

There can be an advantage to her leaving early. If I had any thought that things might end up 'getting legal' I'd want the house to myself so I could gather any/all documents and financial papers and get them stashed somewhere. Ditto for precious or sentimental items. But I appreciate that OP may not have gotten to that point yet.

If not, I'd defo get a different room since I'm sure she can't force him out of the current one.

Please don't empathize with him, tuck him in or entertain his apologies. Go all gray rock with him. Silent. See lawyer as soon as u go home. The legal queen on Instagram is good if u want to educate urself on the law/divorce before u go home

Agree

Awful. Leave the bastard today.

I’m so sorry OP.
kick him out the second you get back home.
You deserve so much more than this scumbag!

You clearly have your wits about you you’re very well coped to deal with this and come out stronger than over but you do have a tough few weeks ahead.

kick him out of hotel room.

be as cold and as straightforward as you can don’t give him any emotional how could you, tears etc save that for your friends

if you still want a baby do ivf with a sperm donor much less stress than coparenting with an arse

The good news is that you won't be having children with him and eventually rid of him to start anew with a partner who is your equal and who loves you if you so wish.

I wish I was kidding when I ask if there isn't some kind of diagnosis for that kind of behaviour - he could be my father, always weirdly infatuated with older ladies, entirely useless at home, faking panic attacks and threats of self-harm, eventually turning violent against his wife.

Like you, my mother was also an empath who thought nothing of being treated badly until she was cheated on. He sounds like he won't be able to deal with you leaving him, so prepare yourself to distance yourself from him as much and as quickly as possible.

Like the OW, the fantasy as well as the duper's delight having a trusting partner who ends up completely blindsided were part of the excitement of cheating. It all sounds completely unhealthy and I wish for you to be able to leave it all behind as quickly as possible. All the best.

Oh OP, I’m so sorry. What a bastard. When it’s all over at least you will never have to speak to him again - not so much a silver lining as a rusty iron one, but there you go.

I’m so sorry you are going through this awful situation. I don’t it doesn’t seem this way now but you will be so better off without him. A year from now you will be on to a wonderful new life that you deserve.

First day of a two week holiday. Just get home any way you can or stay and get away from him.

Both in shock? Did the OPs husbands fling not know he was married? She's married. The OP is the person who should be in shock here

Apart from his distress at being found out, not at anything else, imagine a lot of his distress is because he and her haven't put their plans in place yet to get ready for him to leave you out if the blue.

Usually the bloke seems to leave and have all his accommodation and sexual needs, house keeping all sorted out before he torpedoes his dw life.

You're both in utter shock. I expect he'll make her out to be a psycho next. Don't talk to her again. He is her problem to sort out. She sounds a delight doesn't she?

There really is nothing to say. Unless you plan to keep him onside and split as equally as possible whilst he is prostrating himself with his stupidity.

Head up, dark glasses on, and call home ASAP.