Just found out my husband of 3 years has been cheating for the past 18 months

Cut your losses and divorce him OP, they don’t change. This is your life. Don’t waste it wringing your hands on his disgraceful behaviour.

This happened to a now elderly aunt of mine. Her DH went from one infatuation to another in the end, because he always had to brighten his life with a bit of a thrill on the side. She never left him but she was very resentful. It’s not worth it. If he’s cheating this soon into the relationship then why bother.

OP you can’t sleep while he can! Tells you a lot about the situation.

Pack a bag and leave while he is asleep. Leave him a note.

There is nothing to talk about. Absolutely nothing he can say will change the situation so don’t waste your energy on it.

You will feel numb for a while, then the emotions will come crashing down. So use this time to get yourself home and gather evidence you will need for the divorce. Tell your family and friends, do not keep his secret or feel his shame.

I agree with what others have said, she’s contributed to your life being blown up but now she wants to speak to you to try to stop you blowing hers up.

I know you don’t blame her and I get that but her husband probably deserves to know.

You sound like a successful women who is smart, articulate, switched on and above all - far to good for a pathetic idiot like him. When the anger subsides, see this as an opportunity. He’s done you a favour - you could have ended up married to him for decades!

I remember the panic attacks when he was found out. I just wanted to laugh at him, but was worried he might need hospital, so I had to look after him.

Keep your strength and level head. And keep talking on here.

I hope you can find an earlier flight home.

She wants to stop you blowing up her life.

I hope you’re able to get some rest OP. x

Yeah right. He’s manipulating you.

Thats normal OP. So sorry to hear this.

But the truth is even when youve 3yrs of marriage and trying for a family he said hes infatuated with her.

I wouldnt blame him for wanting to stay with you, you sound kind, thoughtful and tbh a bit like his mummy. But you deserve a man who doesnt stray whilst starting a family with you, she may not be the only one.. he could pass on anything that may impact a pregnacy. Honestly, however much it hurts or costs you to LTB is a bargain

Stop taking care of him. He is playing you.

Next time he threatens suicide, call his bluff and say you will need to contact the emergency services. Believe me, he will shut up.

And please just either kick him out or leave asap.

So you seriously think she wasn’t aware he was married? Both to blame! Yes he’s the one cheating on you but she could have cheated on her husband with a single man not a weak married one.

You have been married for three years and he’s been cheating on you for 18 months with a woman ten years older than him/you. Don’t waste any more of your time with this lowlife. Divorce!

He sounds insufferable.

I dont think airline ticketing works like that

He wouldn’t have been a good person to have kids with and you’d have been tied to him forever. This is the silver lining. How old are you now if you don’t mind me asking- ignore me if not something you want to discuss.

Please just get away from him.

He's manipulative and deeply selfish.

Call your family and get on a flight home.

This. Get away from him as soon as you can and have nothing more to do with him ever. To do that whilst your are going through IVF is beyond despicable. No matter what he says now he does not love you. If he did he couldn't do that to you. Don't waste another moment on him. Do not believe anything he says to you - he cannot be trusted.

I feel like you are going to find your anger very soon, OP. And rightly so.

He sounds gross and childish OP. He's been cheating for half of your marriage and is trying to manipulate you into sympathy for him. He made a deliberate, conscious effort to have a lack of respect for you every single day for 18 months. Don't lose sight of that.

Why did he refuse to get checked? How utterly bizarre? Unless….he doesn’t want a child with you OP? In fact, there can’t really be any other reason can there?

He is awful. A private school boy who’s had to ‘slum it’ with you. What a cunt.

He’s an absolute delight. How dare he manipulate you with a pathetic fake panic attack. Also think it’s weird he’s seemingly so immature but has a thing for older women with children - it’s a bit Freudian!

You’ve had a lucky escape. Sounds awful because obviously IVF is so very difficult but one day you’ll be glad it didn’t work out otherwise you’d have been stuck with him forever.

Either swap hotels and try to get your head together in a nice place or get on a flight home.

Hope things are clearer for you this am, Op. I agree that you need to safely get away from your husband's continued manipulation of you.

This! So sorry this is happening to you OP