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AIBU?

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AIBU to think DH’s joke after my car crash was inappropriate?

367 replies

Laulau3 · 23/03/2026 18:10

Someone went in to the back of my car earlier today when I was returning from nursery drop off. I was in traffic, so no harm done to me, but the car obviously needs some repairs. The man driving stopped and was apologetic and we swapped details.

I called DH and after checking I was okay, he ‘joked’ that ‘he has had more luck than me over the years in smashing your back doors in’. I told him I didn’t see the funny side.

He messaged me later to say I’m being uptight and to get a sense of humour.

There’s a time and a place, surely?

OP posts:
dadtoateen · 23/03/2026 21:28

Anyahyacinth · 23/03/2026 21:22

Being nagged about an unwanted sexual act isn’t humour..it's tiny penis energy..trying to get over on someone who just had an accident and needed support

Its a clear micro aggression by a micro penis

Nagged?? Where did that get mentioned?

thats right. Nowhere.

and now her bloke has a small penis, how did you come to this conclusion?

RanchRat · 23/03/2026 21:27

If my DH every spoke to me like that he would be looking for a new home.

history505 · 23/03/2026 21:25

dadtoateen · 23/03/2026 21:00

What we can take from this is many people don’t have a sense of humour…

if I’m reading correctly his first concern was if she was ok, then lightened the mood with a joke? Assuming they had been together a while she would already know his humour?

don’t think he actually suggested anal sex at the time…

what’s happened to the world we live in?

I guess some people like unoriginal crass jokes at inappropriate moments, but most people, especially women, don’t.

I don’t think it has anything to do with something happening ‘to the world we live in’, unless it is that people feel less pressured into laughing along with crap like this for fear of looking like they ‘don’t have a sense of humour’.

iamfedupwiththis · 23/03/2026 21:24

Firefly1987 · 23/03/2026 21:16

We're all familiar with lad humour but I thought men were smart enough to keep that kind of chat between their mates. Apparently not!

You can't be mates with your husband/partner??

Anyahyacinth · 23/03/2026 21:22

dadtoateen · 23/03/2026 21:00

What we can take from this is many people don’t have a sense of humour…

if I’m reading correctly his first concern was if she was ok, then lightened the mood with a joke? Assuming they had been together a while she would already know his humour?

don’t think he actually suggested anal sex at the time…

what’s happened to the world we live in?

Being nagged about an unwanted sexual act isn’t humour..it's tiny penis energy..trying to get over on someone who just had an accident and needed support

Its a clear micro aggression by a micro penis

Tryanalogue · 23/03/2026 21:22

LunchatthePriory · 23/03/2026 21:09

In the 1980s Comedy Store and the new wave of Alternative Comedians spelt the beginning of the end for the likes of Bernard Manning, Roy Chubby Brown and Jim Davidson.

The “alternative” lot took over a lot of the airtime and I enjoyed a lot of it.

R C Brown never had much of a TV presence, so far as I remember. Very popular live and on video though.

Davidson was more unfunny than he was offensive, which was not the effect he wanted to have!

Anewerforest · 23/03/2026 21:22

That's revolting with or without the crash. .

dadtoateen · 23/03/2026 21:18

Firefly1987 · 23/03/2026 21:16

We're all familiar with lad humour but I thought men were smart enough to keep that kind of chat between their mates. Apparently not!

You don’t think your partner is also a ‘mate’? Not allowed jokes in the relationship?

surely the op must have known his sense of humour if they have been together years?

Firefly1987 · 23/03/2026 21:16

We're all familiar with lad humour but I thought men were smart enough to keep that kind of chat between their mates. Apparently not!

dadtoateen · 23/03/2026 21:15

LunchatthePriory · 23/03/2026 21:13

Or that people have different senses of humour.

Correct

LunchatthePriory · 23/03/2026 21:13

dadtoateen · 23/03/2026 21:00

What we can take from this is many people don’t have a sense of humour…

if I’m reading correctly his first concern was if she was ok, then lightened the mood with a joke? Assuming they had been together a while she would already know his humour?

don’t think he actually suggested anal sex at the time…

what’s happened to the world we live in?

Or that people have different senses of humour.

Growlybear83 · 23/03/2026 21:11

history505 · 23/03/2026 20:49

The circumstance of your wife having a car crash is the perfect time to make an unoriginal joke about anal sex? Strange world you live in.

As someone else has pointed out, it wasn’t a car crash as such - another driver went into the back of the OP’s car. After he had checked she was ok, the OP’s husband then made a joke, which I think would have lightened the mood and made most people in the real world chuckle.

whattheysay · 23/03/2026 21:10

I wouldn’t be offended if my husband said this but you’re not me and if you’re offended then you’re offended. No point asking what other people think, if everyone says one thing it won’t stop you feeling that way. Just tell him you don’t ever want to hear that type of thing again

firstofallimadelight · 23/03/2026 21:09

A joke in relation to a minor prang wouldn’t have bothered me (unless it had been a slight on my driving. Too soon)
A joke about anal - bore off man child

LunchatthePriory · 23/03/2026 21:09

Tryanalogue · 23/03/2026 20:57

I guess I’m giving credit where I think it’s due.

His diction and timing were good. I think he would have rejected the OP’s husband’s weak material.

1970s (and previous) racism was bad. There was a time I thought it was getting better: maybe 20 years ago.

I think racism is getting worse now.

In the 1980s Comedy Store and the new wave of Alternative Comedians spelt the beginning of the end for the likes of Bernard Manning, Roy Chubby Brown and Jim Davidson.

Tryanalogue · 23/03/2026 21:02

SlightlyTerrifiedButPolite · 23/03/2026 21:00

I must admit this made me laugh out loud but only because it’s such a mad thing to say to your wife in this context?! You are not being unreasonable. I just asked my DH and he said “it’s totally unacceptable” (his first contribution on mumsnet!). Sorry OP xxx

Yes, his crass ineptitude is what’s funny.

SlightlyTerrifiedButPolite · 23/03/2026 21:00

I must admit this made me laugh out loud but only because it’s such a mad thing to say to your wife in this context?! You are not being unreasonable. I just asked my DH and he said “it’s totally unacceptable” (his first contribution on mumsnet!). Sorry OP xxx

dadtoateen · 23/03/2026 21:00

What we can take from this is many people don’t have a sense of humour…

if I’m reading correctly his first concern was if she was ok, then lightened the mood with a joke? Assuming they had been together a while she would already know his humour?

don’t think he actually suggested anal sex at the time…

what’s happened to the world we live in?

TaggieOharasLostBra · 23/03/2026 21:00

Ewwww

Firefly1987 · 23/03/2026 20:59

history505 · 23/03/2026 20:49

The circumstance of your wife having a car crash is the perfect time to make an unoriginal joke about anal sex? Strange world you live in.

It's like they do the obligatory "are you ok" get that out the way so they can do their crappy little inappropriate "hilarious" joke they can't wait to do.

God sometimes I hate men, and I'm usually defending them.

iamfedupwiththis · 23/03/2026 20:57

history505 · 23/03/2026 20:49

The circumstance of your wife having a car crash is the perfect time to make an unoriginal joke about anal sex? Strange world you live in.

Hardly a crash.

Someone went in the back of her!

Tryanalogue · 23/03/2026 20:57

MasterBeth · 23/03/2026 20:25

Generalisations?

Like how P smell?

And n*** are rapists?.

And Y* are deceitful?

Those kind of "generalisations"?

Why are you trying to minimise the loathsome hateful racism of that loathsome hateful racist man?

I guess I’m giving credit where I think it’s due.

His diction and timing were good. I think he would have rejected the OP’s husband’s weak material.

1970s (and previous) racism was bad. There was a time I thought it was getting better: maybe 20 years ago.

I think racism is getting worse now.

thequeenoftarts · 23/03/2026 20:54

Ah tell him the man who bumped your rear knew how to do it in style lol

history505 · 23/03/2026 20:49

Growlybear83 · 23/03/2026 20:39

Sorry, under the circumstances, I think your husband’s comment was quite funny.

The circumstance of your wife having a car crash is the perfect time to make an unoriginal joke about anal sex? Strange world you live in.

Renamedyetagain · 23/03/2026 20:41

Gross