AIBU to think DH’s joke after my car crash was inappropriate?

Same. I am resilient and hardy and can have a dark sense of humour and laugh a lot at intelligent humour. Misogynist violent sexual jokes are just not my bag.

For me, the "time and place" for men to joke about sexual coercion of women and then pull out the well-worn "just a joke bro" line when challenged (1) never and nowhere - or if that's impossible then (2) after sexual equality is achieved and the rate of VAWG as well as the normalisation and trivialisation of the problem has radically declined.

In any case, it's not a successful joke if only one of you finds it even remotely funny. Why so important for him to defend it?

Horrible comment, is is usually this crass?

For the avoidance of doubt, I’m not a delicate little flower either….

This thread clearly delineates between two very different kinds of people. That's exactly the kind of joke my DH would make and I'd laugh my tits off 😂 some of what he's said to me in the past would make people's toes curl but he knows it makes me laugh because I'm not a delicate little flower

So those of who have a sense of humour, can enjoy a joke for what it is have a purile sense of humour and a low bar when it comes to men....................... of course why didn't I think of that!

I will go and do some more revision I might be able to get GCSE in Maths if I try hard!

I think there is a far larger unintelligent and trashy element on MN than I ever thought. Who have a puerile sense of humour and a very low bar when it comes to men.

A kind of Dunning-Kruger take on misogyny.

What a horrible turn of phrase. Your DH sounds crass and immature. I hope you’re ok, OP.

Really not a big deal. Chill out.

It absolutely IS a joke

Surely a joke is meant to be something humorous, to make somebody laugh?

This is not in any way humorous.

Just because a certain type of person says it and labels it ' a joke" doesn't make it one.

It's a vindictive misogynistic statement.

I think it’s a bit insensitive given you were in shock but the joking at least means he’s not freaking out and getting annoyed. For perspective, a woman (who had a toddler with her) went into the back of me several years ago and when I got out to see the damage, she was crying and saying over and over again, “My husband is going to kill me. He’s going to be so angry. Oh my god - he’s going to be so angry.” I’d certainly rather have a stupid joke from a man who can cope with some car damage than have one who’s going to raise the roof when he finds out.

Agreed. He was perfection.

It absolutely IS a joke. It might be disgusting, inappropriate, cruel, unacceptable, lazy and any number of other negative things, but that doesn't mean it's not a joke. It's literally been in (bad) stand-up routines. A joke doesn't stop being a joke simply because not everyone in the room finds it funny.

I'm not saying it's OK and I'm not saying the OP is wrong to hate it, but it's certainly still a joke.

His hottest role was definitely his character in Secretary 🔥

agreed!

That man has copious amount of rizz.
His swagger in Blacklist was even impressive.

Oh, yeah!

spader is better in stargate

James Spader was insanely hot in that movie.

I agree. Even a minor bump would give you an adrenaline surge and crash, leaving you feeling a bit wobbly and low. The fact he told her she’s “”uptight” on the Same Day!! What a thoughtless scumbag.

wtf is this whole ‘cool wives’ or ‘cool girls’ crap - because people don’t agree with you? LTB op. How dare he say something so stupid.

But it's not a joke. It's just a disgusting comment.

Oooooh! Crass! I don’t like that at all ,very insensitive. I not surprised you gave him a sharp retort. Tell him you don’t need a sense of humour. He needs to grow up and get some sense!

I wouldn’t be surprised to hear those of you finding his joke so horrendous are dried up old bats who refuse their OH’s sex altogether and probably done nothing more than missionary

Another poster suggested it was people under 40 who found the term vulgar
and disrespectful and dried up old prunes who could 'have a laugh'

I think it's just some people find the term repugnant regardless of age or libido.

But it surprises me how many posters don't even see a hint of red flag there

Likewise. This doesn't pass as 'banter' in my world.