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AIBU?

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AIBU to think DH’s joke after my car crash was inappropriate?

367 replies

Laulau3 · 23/03/2026 18:10

Someone went in to the back of my car earlier today when I was returning from nursery drop off. I was in traffic, so no harm done to me, but the car obviously needs some repairs. The man driving stopped and was apologetic and we swapped details.

I called DH and after checking I was okay, he ‘joked’ that ‘he has had more luck than me over the years in smashing your back doors in’. I told him I didn’t see the funny side.

He messaged me later to say I’m being uptight and to get a sense of humour.

There’s a time and a place, surely?

OP posts:
Candlesticko · 23/03/2026 18:58

iamfedupwiththis · 23/03/2026 18:55

Does no one joke with their husbands anymore??

I'd have laughed at that!

Someone went into my rear on a roundabout, I even said myself I'd been taken up the rear on the roundabout - there is a subway underneath - to which my mate said, you're not the first you won't be the last!

That's not remotely similar.

iamfedupwiththis · 23/03/2026 18:57

I came home after a colonoscopy, my husband, asked if it had paved the way, we both laughed, and got on with our day!

No drama, no offense, just two adults who can take a joke.

RedWineCupcakes · 23/03/2026 18:57

Sure its poor taste, but I would take it in the likely intended spirit - trying to inject some levity into a difficult day.

LightYearsAgo · 23/03/2026 18:57

Tryanalogue · 23/03/2026 18:45

Bernard Manning was good at his job.

How is that relevant? It doesn't make him any less offensive

iamfedupwiththis · 23/03/2026 18:55

Does no one joke with their husbands anymore??

I'd have laughed at that!

Someone went into my rear on a roundabout, I even said myself I'd been taken up the rear on the roundabout - there is a subway underneath - to which my mate said, you're not the first you won't be the last!

Sannabay · 23/03/2026 18:55

Perhaps you should have a look at husbands friends. Suggest he culls a few.
When he asks why tell him, they are infecting his mind and you're not enthused by the prospect of catching this kind of humour, especially with dc.

Unless it's his internet watching habits that's fueling these poor taste jokes.
Men and their jokes...is there anything more tedious. I suggest get one if those Duck whistles I. Case anymore naff jokes are sent yr way.

DierdreDaphne · 23/03/2026 18:53

nowayho · 23/03/2026 18:41

It was just a joke.

It wasn't funny though, unless derivative misogyny is what passes for humour in your world

shhblackbag · 23/03/2026 18:52

WeepingAngelInTheTardis · 23/03/2026 18:30

You’re being highly dramatic, I thought a lorry had driven into you or something.

This.

YABU being offended also. It's grim but I have a hard time believing a man who makes a joke like that that it comes out of the blue. You must know this is part of his humour.

Alittlefrustrated · 23/03/2026 18:51

Fine to try to lighten the mood with a joke, but grim taste in humour 😳

LunchatthePriory · 23/03/2026 18:50

Tryanalogue · 23/03/2026 18:45

Bernard Manning was good at his job.

His job as a sexist racist foul mouthed crude comedian from the 1970s.

Motnight · 23/03/2026 18:50

Grim "joke" at any time.

Cece92 · 23/03/2026 18:49

It depends on the person id laugh and say yeah gonna stay that way but again it really depends on you. I do see why you would have thought not the right time to be cracking that joke

Overflowingwithcosmos · 23/03/2026 18:49

Really gross. That joke would give me the ick at any time tbh.

LunchatthePriory · 23/03/2026 18:47

nowayho · 23/03/2026 18:41

It was just a joke.

A joke made to the woman who is his life partner and the mother of his child(ren) about the fact that he's been unlucky in trying to have anal sex with her.

Anal sex that he refers to as 'smashing your back doors in'.

Just after she's been involved in a car accident.

How funny is that joke when you really think about it?

Grotty.

DelphiniumBlue · 23/03/2026 18:47

There isn't a time or place where that "joke" would be either acceptable, appropriate or funny. Does he often talk to you like that?

Tryanalogue · 23/03/2026 18:45

LightYearsAgo · 23/03/2026 18:43

We aren't obliged to find other peoples "jokes" funny or appropriate.

Would you say the same about Bernard Manning?

Bernard Manning was good at his job.

Tryanalogue · 23/03/2026 18:43

It’s good that he’s cheerful after car damage, but his jokes are rubbish.

LightYearsAgo · 23/03/2026 18:43

nowayho · 23/03/2026 18:41

It was just a joke.

We aren't obliged to find other peoples "jokes" funny or appropriate.

Would you say the same about Bernard Manning?

stayathomegardener · 23/03/2026 18:42

Your H is giving me the ick from a distance, horrible thing to say at any time.

ElspethTassione · 23/03/2026 18:42

I honestly can't believe there are people saying that this is ok! You are right to be offended and your husband getting the hump makes it even worse. I'm sorry you're having a horrible day OP.

LadyLindaT · 23/03/2026 18:42

Tasteless and nasty.

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 23/03/2026 18:41

@Laulau3 I am with you on this. If my DH had made a joke like that at any time, let alone after I'd been involved in a car accident he would be sleeping in his car for the foreseeable.

It was exist, misogynistic and down right bloody rude.

He needs to grow up

nowayho · 23/03/2026 18:41

It was just a joke.

therockingbird · 23/03/2026 18:40

Yep - bad taste! ExH did similar by sending jokes to me on tik tok when I had a minor crash.. twat!

LunchatthePriory · 23/03/2026 18:39

Man tells misogynist joke at expense of his wife, who's just been involved in an accident.
She, not unreasonably, doesn't find it funny.

Then tells her she's uptight and needs to get a sense of humour.

He's a dickhead isn't he?