Husband’s female colleague’s issue being taken very seriously.

or the colleague found the thread...

Agree - my DH has come home in the evening between trips literally to have a couple of hours with me before bed - a meal, a cuddle (with the dogs) the next episode in whatever box set we are bingeing. Then up at 530 and back to work the next day. Why? Because he loves me and likes to see the kids if they are around. Even if this means he has to scroll emails while I serve up or sit with him on the sofa. And again, why? Because, as much as he enjoys the challenge of the job, the travel etc, he ultimately works to give us a good life now and in retirement and pay for university in the next few years. He and I will grab whatever hours we can simply because he not only loves us but LIKES us and enjoys being with us. I find it a bit sad that so many people are just relieved to have time to themselves, away from the partner they chose to build a life with, that they actively welcome the respite from their relationships. (I do get that time away from kids is very welcome at times though. 🤣)

We're all at work all day, whether on a work trip or not. So because your spouse has a job then there's no point seeing them from Monday to Friday by your reasoning? I personally like coming home from work and having dinner with DH, but you do you.

And she's not staying in the travelodge all day either

And what's to say that they don't have an annual travel insurance policy? Most people who go away more that once a year do in my experience. Or have a policy in with their bank accounts.

You seem to be clutching at straws and claiming them to be a gotcha

Why is it a problem if they aren't socialising? They wouldn't be if the were in the office. This isn't a networking event we're talking about. It's performing their normal roles in another location. They'll all be back in the office with all the other staff who didn't come along and didn't socialise with them in a few days.

The idea that work own you to the extent they are reasonable to try to push you into socialising how they want rather than how you want seems far more 1950s than spouses tagging onto a work trip.

But when you’re working away from home you don’t want to socialise with colleagues do you? It hasn’t been on any job description I’ve ever had.

I find it creates distance in thr group, the person who has the spouse ends up spending the evening with them and not socialising with colleagues.

it is usually the wife as well who is tagging along.

We do both. DH is away a great deal so it's lovely for us not to be separated for months on end all the time.

I find it hard to believe that inviting spouses on work trips isn’t distracting and think it kills any attempts at team building stone dead.

Again - not all work trips are about team building. And why would a spouse be more distracting on a work trip than regularly at home.

For many it’s the same away as at home - do the job, end of work go ‘home’ - turn up next day repeat.

I’ve been sent with a team of colleagues to deliver training at regional offices and you are paid to do the day’s training just the same as in the main office. Then travel to the next site and repeat.

Just because we are a group of colleagues away from home changes nothing about the job - did anyone bring a partner? I have absolutely no idea because I had my own plans and so did everyone else. We were even staying in different hotels or with friends if we knew someone in the city.

Occasionally has a quick drink after work but no different to how it was in the main office.

No need for any kind of team building after hours.

It’s not a guides camping weekend.

It’s adults staying in hotel accommodation that is subject to industry regulations and relevant safety precautions and thus safety is assumed. You are obsessed by health and safety/safeguarding. It isn’t relevant here beyond ensuring the hotel booked is safe and booked according to company policy (which means it will likely have been on a vetted list, where its compliance with the above regulations has been checked and certified). H&S may extend to ensuring female staff are safe - so no late working, working alone, or after dark etc.

I wouldn’t go as far to say I can’t think of anything worse, and I’d go with my OH if it was somewhere fancy or a length of time away.

But I wouldn’t put so much effort into hanging out with my DH’s colleagues. I have my own colleagues to build relationships with, and I feel us having our own thing enriches our relationship.

Each to their own though, but just don’t claim it is valuable to the company.

yes it makes me think either it wasn’t actually company policy at all and the two men are being disingenuous or for reasons unknown someone didn’t want this lady to know she could bring someone along to keep her company in the evening. It’s an extremely strange situation. Why anyone would think it’s the female colleague fault for spoiling this perk she didn’t even know about is anyone’s guess.

I really don't think you do, not in this context anyway. You might be fantastic at hammering out a settlement when an all-risks insured driver crashes into a third-party only one, but you seem a little shaky when it comes to personal responsibilities vs corporate.

And, thank you! Yes, most people do find me pleasant.

Oh that sounds nice, have a great time. I don’t need to tag along on my wife’s work trips - we go on actual holidays instead.

I agree. I’ll get flamed for this I’m sure but it indicates a level of co-dependency that I personally find troubling. And while there cannot be the expectation that workers socialise with each other after hours, I find it hard to believe that inviting spouses on work trips isn’t distracting and think it kills any attempts at team building stone dead.

And I personally cannot think of anything worse than spending my spare time socialising with my wife’s colleagues’ spouses - surely there are better things to be getting on with?

If you check, you'll find this is because the food & accommodation are classed as subsistence - not entertainment or a privilege or in lieu of pay, but a substitute for your usual home arrangements while on company business. Some companies don't consider alcohol a necessary part of everyday life, so they don't include it. (Also see a la carte meals.)

This very point, that it's a substitute for home, is why it's unreasonable for the employer to demand certain social activities outside the working day. Or to preclude them, for that matter.

Oh, me too. Anyway I'm thoroughly looking forward to my month's free hotel and time with my husband in an interesting major city this summer.

Why in god’s name do you not understand how insurance and risk assessments work?

What a strange response. I genuinely do wonder what planet some posters live on sometimes.

I’ve worked for a few organisations where they won’t pay for alcohol.

No where does she answer 1) what happens with the kids, 2) or her own job.

Why in god's name are you assuming they expect the employer to insure the spouse?

I've been wondering this too. It seems like she didn't know, queried it when she got back to her main office and now there's a change in policy.

You've been on @Sweetmarzipan's thread all this time and you haven't read her posts?

Fucking hell.