Husband’s female colleague’s issue being taken very seriously.

It’s worrying the company has jumped to her demand. I think she might have form for causing trouble and probably uses all the buzz words to get her way.

She is probably upset she didn’t get to shag your husbands and is taking it out on everyone else.

Agree. I'm bewildered by the flood of 'unprofessional' comments.

I don't see forced evening socialisation between colleagues as particularly good for business - how so? They aren't schmoozing clients and, if eating together were so important, they'd be dining together when working at the office.

Fostering friendly family relations among staff, however, is a long-established employee retention strategy. This lot have shot themselves in the foot, I reckon.

I do hope Ms Complaint enjoys playing corporate totty at the next trip away - and hope the men don't join her for dinner or drinks!

What if you don't want to spend evenings eith your colleges?

It does all seem really outdated. I think a lot of people would find themselves annoyed at being effectively excluded on a work trip. I’m a bit antisocial and quite happy to eat on my own but think I’m fairly unusual. This definitely feels like a work practice from another era so probably best to view it as a nice perk while it lasted.

This may or may not be true. I think it is possible.

Nevertheless….

OP, in your initial post you bang on about the friendly culture of this company. Then you describe how you and DH blew off the female colleague’s enquiry about meal plans because you had made private ones.

The trip is fundamentally professional. This wasn’t the worst thing in the world but it cannot be called ‘friendly’. You could have offered to see if the pub could accommodate an extra person, you could have invited the woman (then) for another meal or to meet for a drink later. You mention none of this.

The friendliness sounds rather selective.

@Sweetmarzipan if I was dh I wouldn’t be now spending my time with her because wife’s aren’t allowed .
Although you could book yourself Into he hotel separately she can’t stop you booking a room or a table for dinner. .

As much as I can understand where you're coming from, she's an employee and you aren't so the company should absolutely prioritise her needs above yours. Excepting situations where a disabled employee needs to be accompanied by their carer, no adult should need their partner to hold their hand on a business trip.

In my industry it would be seen as absolutely inappropriate, unprofessional and frankly bizarre to have your partner with you on for overnight stays when attending meetings and conferences.

From the updates it really looks like the new colleague said no such thing.

Either someone doesn’t like her and is shit stirring, or exaggerating or plain old got wrong end of the stick.

It just isn’t conceivable she said this. I’m willing to believe, at a stretch, that she made a negative comment about the WAGS being there and changing the dynamic, but no more.

I have tagged along with DH a few times, but usually when he’s freeelancing (he is an academic) rather than on “official” trips. We’d pay my travel costs.

Its probably all been said but I wanted to add my perspective. I've travelled on business a lot over the year, sometimes alone, sometimes with a group of colleagues. I'm female. I'd feel fairly disappointed if travelling with a group to be abandoned at dinner. Of course I'm capable of eating alone and have done, but its nice not to. And honestly in these circumstances I don't want to spent time with somebodies wife either.

I used to work somewhere that had the policy if you travelled abroad you could fly business class, or fly economy and take your partner with their flight then paid for. Hotel costs wouldn’t change and partners had to (obviously) pay their own expenses like food etc. this was travel to the US and then some parts of SE Asia.

OT but I love having the house to myself if my husband goes away!

I agree with this. It’s a bizarre set up to be honest. I regularly go away for work (and to some nice, touristy places) and it wouldn’t even occur to me to ask if I can bring my wife. It’s work - not a holiday. And I would feel awkward if my colleagues’ spouses rocked up to a conference etc. The way you have framed this sounds inappropriate at best OP. It does seem a bit Stepford Wives to be honest.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if someone has made a “joke” about it to her. When you’re a single woman in her 30s it’s amazing how many people like to joke that you’re after someone else’s husband. And yeah, I’d make a complaint about it if in a work context.

Fair enough! In that case I can see why it's a potential headache... but doesn't sound like the company were too bothered in that respect!

It all seems a bit outdated. I love my DH but I can't imagine taking him on a work trip. It would change the group dynamic and I would have to worry about him as well as work. Not that he would ever waste his precious time off to tag along on one of my work trips!

20 years ago it wasn't unheard of for spouces in DH line of work to tag along - we had young kids so I couldn't - it's no longer happens.

Tends to mean DH spends fair bit of time exploring the place by himself but also tends to eat with collegues more.

I think you were lucky it carried on so long TBH.

Exactly.
I’d not be socialising with colleagues I’d spent all day with unless it was a requirement in which case they can pay me overtime!

Does she now think that on business trips her colleagues (previously bringing their wives or husbands) are now going to want to socialise with her instead? I’d rather sit alone than socialise with someone like her!

Well out side of the hours for work it shouldn’t matter who you have dinner with or sleep with.

What if everyone wanted to eat alone ordering room service rather than meals in the hotel?

They cannot dictate that they have to eat dinner together.

The only thing work can actually stop is to not allow overnight guests to take advantage of company paid for rooms. But op could book her own room in that hotel or a local travel lodge and they could go to the movies and dinner once work was finished.

Yes it is a potential tax minefield for the company - hotel expenses are tax deductible but my if solely for business purposes - having a spouse there means tax should be part on part of the room

busjness trips are not personal trips if she did force it to HMRC and audit it could be a minefield

or if it was h see personal expenses and on your husband tax bill same

I've been to dozens of high level, security clearance work events / conferences etc.....unless there is a banquet in the evening to attend...socialising in the evening is completely optional. If an individual can't network in the day then I despair....it's a bizarre reductive decision to remove this positive for staff

But you do get to be off duty at the end of the working day.
When our first child was a baby, we both used to stay in a hotel room with my husband some weeks. He was weekly commuting for 6 months. We were not the only people to do it.

I wonder what the colleague's actual complaint was? My guess is that she said the practice of spouses tagging along is unprofessional and your DH was creative with the rest to make it sound like an outrageous complaint! Fwiw I agree that it is unprofessional.