Husband’s female colleague’s issue being taken very seriously.

I think it’s really unreasonable of them to say you can’t use the room however you want – the company may be covering the cost of the accommodation but presumably your H isn’t paid extra to be there, i.e. his evenings are his own.

What did she actually say? If it was implied that they should be spending the evenings together talking shop I’d be tempted to ask if the company is paying for that time. If she literally said you were there to ensure your husbands didn’t cheat on you (surely not?!) then that’s really none of her business.

I do hope Ms Complaint enjoys playing corporate totty at the next trip away - and hope the men don't join her for dinner or drinks!

This kind of outdated, misogynistic bollocks sounds like the shit she's up against at work. She isn't 'playing corporate totty', she's a woman at work, doing her job that - given we know it's a male dominated field - she's likely better at than the men who work there. She's no more corporate totty than the OP's husband is, but he's framed as 'the men' who should exclude her.

OP, I get why it's annoying but I'm team female colleague. It's already hard being a woman in a male dominated industry. It makes it harder still when on a work trip the only other women there are 'the wives' and she's found herself excluded socially because everyone else has brought 'the wives' along for a jolly. It sounds like the bad old days when business was done at the pub or on the golf course and anyone who wasn't part of the boys club at those social events mysteriously missed out on promotions. What you call 'a really nice lifestyle there which is bound to have created a nice work environment' clearly did nothing of the sort for what sounds like the only women on the team.

Good for her. She’s a young woman being ignored by older male colleagues and she hasn't ‘put up and shut up’. Rather than being allowed to network with her colleagues, she’s being sent to her room.

I cannot see how this practice was acceptable, either tax wise or in terms of equality. And I don’t believe for a moment anyone mature enough to raise this would say it was to protect those poor male employees - unless someone has made a very unwise comment to her along these lines and then she has every right to complain about being framed in those terms.

A nice perk is unfortunately over because some twit made a stupid complaint.

But. I would recommend for your DHs each of mind that he (or other) male colleagues are never alone with her. On this alone she seems to have a knack of grasping the wrong end of a stick.

It's all most singular, isn't it.

I agree with this. It's also telling that so many people who agree with the OP are commenting on how unpopular the younger woman will be as a result, rather than on how wildly unprofessional the company has been in sharing her complaint (though I find it very unlikely that the substance was as it's been recounted here). And that's to say nothing of the comments about "corporate totty" , and "now she has her chance to shag the husbands".

Fine then they can book their own room, it’s a free country, they probably won’t though. I’m very sceptical of the reason, it’s too strange and I can’t imagine any employer citing this in an email, without seeing the content I would say it’s almost unbelievable. Far more likely that they had cliques out socialising and one person alone in their room. I would be more wary of people who feel entitled to freeload. The likelihood is this change will promote inclusion and wellbeing within the organisation and bring the team closer. The tag alongs will be forgotten in no time and a healthier culture will be created.

I'm afraid that was my first thought: she felt a bit thwarted and thought she'd clear the decks to have a free runway next time!

Honestly some people just need to learn to shut up when it really isn't their business.

On balance I think it's pretty inappropriate to bring along a spouse on a work trip. I'd never bring my husband and he'd never bring me. And I think I'd feel a bit weird if my colleague's partners were there whilst I was working

I used to go occasionally with dh when he worked away but only if it was for just one night. I didn't have dinner with him or anything and never saw his colleagues. I was happy to spend the day in a different city and have a peaceful dinner on my own. I don't think it would have gone down well if I'd muscled in during the evening.

This really is one of those mumsnet threads where my mind is blown. I’ve never come across any sort of workplace where this would be seen as acceptable.

I’ll file this alongside people who spend all day in their PJs and those who get changed out of outdoor clothes as soon as they come home. Equally strange concepts.

It seems very short sighted and knee jerk by company. A longstanding arrangement that has worked well shouldn’t have been overridden on a whim.
As long as spouses weren’t impacting working hours what you do after working day is entirely up to you. No obligation to socialise with colleagues. Some people prefer to eat in room or go to pool or see a show etc.
If I was your husband and other colleague I wouldn’t socialise with her I’d be very wary. It’s really odd to have jumped to you’ve brought your wife as you can’t be trusted. I’d assume wife was there to enjoy a little break and make use of paid for hotel.
I’ve often tagged along with husband no issues to conferences etc. I pay my own food. I use pool/spa, afternoon tea or go shopping and sightseeing. If there’s a dinner allowing a plus 1 I’d buy a ticket. His car mileage and room is covered whether 1 or 2 people. It’s very common in his sector and never been an issue.

And? You don’t have to drink alcohol in a bar these days. I’ve never met anyone from any background who’d objected to being in a hotel bar.

We used to do this when our DC were preschoolers, supplementing the allowance my DH was given for the room and paying for food. It allowed us, and other colleagues’ families, some mini breaks and, as you say, gave us a sense of community. What a sad, twisted mind this woman has. How bitter she is.

They can, to a point. But it must be a done thing as HMRC have a section on it: Work expenses for spouses accompanying employees on business trips (480: Chapter 10)

I can see her point and good for her for raising it.

Shes working in a male dominated environment as it is and now her evenings working away are being spent with males and their partners. I would wouldn't be happy with that.

Blimey have all these wives not got kids or jobs? Seems odd to me to go on almost every trip.

This is so weird. I've often tagged on to my huband's work trips if he's going somewhere interesting. Either a couple of days at the end or during the trip, I did my own thing in the day and joined them in the evenings. Last time his colleagues knew his meeting had over run over and texted me which pub they were all in so I went there after my flight had got in.

Other partners turn up too.

He's tagged on to my trips, and either done his own thing or hung out with me and my colleagues...

going forward it ives a very clear indication of the type of issues that could arise from this person. It is a very loud message to your dh to be extremely careful

It feels very 1980's for wives to be available for husband's work trips, it probably should have gone out with car phones. You'll have to trust him now!

My partner’s company always allows partner/another to join if the room is the same rate. Partners pay for meals etc. Some evenings my partner is expected to go out for a meal with colleagues. I stay in the hotel room on those nights. Other nights he has free time so we go out with whoever we want. It’s not compulsory to socialise with work colleagues. I thought this was the norm.

I've got mixed feelings.Since I retired I have been with DH a few times when he has been working abroad. But I have only been if he is either going to be completely alone in the evenings or it's a big conference or meeting where there are going to be loads of people around. DH likes the company if he's travelling alone and if the work finishes at a weekend or he can take leave we've been known to stay on for a day or two to do some sight seeing together afterwards.
I pay my own way apart from the room which is the same cost whether I'm there or not (and he always asks the company beforehand) and I keep well clear of the work side of things. If there are any after work dinners I just eat on my own in the hotel.
However I wouldn't go if he was travelling with one or a small number of colleagues, even though I know quite a few of them and they probably wouldn't mind. I think it would still potentially be a bit disruptive or awkward for the others. And I never go on "ordinary" work trips in this country. I have absolutely no desire to share a Premier Inn breakfast with one of DH's junior staff when the two of them are visiting a supplier in Northampton.
I think it's ok as an occasional thing if the company know and agree and the accompanying spouse keeps themselves largely to themselves. DH's company get a lot of unpaid work out of him and they know it. Facilitating what amounts to two slightly discounted city breaks for me in the last three years when he was abroad on his own is a very easy way for them to keep him happy. But I think you do have to be considerate to any other people on work trips. If I was away with a few colleagues and the others had all brought their spouses along I wouldn't be very comfortable, certainly not if it was a regular occurrence. Context is important.

Same. I'm the one in our relationship who occasionally travels for work. DH would HATE to come along and I'd hate to have him there too. Not coz I'm off doing something I shouldn't, but because my colleagues & I go for dinner in the evenings after the work day and DH wouldn't enjoy that. As well as discussing the events of the day / planning strategy for the next day, it's also a chance to bond with colleagues outside of the office environment. ( * ) I couldn't image telling my colleagues that I couldn't meet up with them because I had a date with my DH.
( * ) None of us have shagged each other yet!

If they’re not being paid for their time outside of working hours then his boss cannot make rules about who he has dinner with. I’d stay well away from that woman. She’s going to find herself with no one at work who wants to socialise with her.

im guessing it would not go down well for the next event if you book separately but then still meet up for lunch ect ? (unless you did it mi9 style and kept it secret)

I think there is more to this... maybe she is having an affair with one of the guys?