Husband’s female colleague’s issue being taken very seriously.

where is your evidence for this? or is it a feeling?

Are the company paying your husband for the 24 hours then?. If the are dictating what he’s doing and not being paid for I would refuse the trips personally - I can understand why they don’t want to pay for spouses but if they don’t know can’t see the problem

Clearly a lot of posters clearly can’t trust their men to keep their cocks in their trousers and assume any younger woman can’t resist them 🤣

*Women’s social media board

There is so much more than parenting here

I would really love to hear the female colleagues' version of events. In particular what was said to her to make her feel that was the reason the wives tagged along - I doubt she came up with this from nowhere.

Anyway how it has been communicated is incredibly unprofessional.

Perhaps because she felt excluded?

Except you could argue she’s more entitled to be there than the spouses

Indeed. Which is probably really unfair when you consider how incredibly unlikely it is that she actually said what she is being accused of saying.

Probably more likely the blokes don't want the wives hanging around now there's a hot younger women in attendance. Wife in tow is the ultimate cock block. Cooked up this rubbish as they don't want to own it.

*Parenting forum.

@Crushed23 Op says it was initially more frequent every 4-6 weeks.
I join my husband sometimes as I’m an empty nester, can wfh (from anywhere in uk) and have very generous annual leave.
If he’s staying somewhere luxurious with a nice pool and spa I can use facilities. I’m very happy in my own company. I do things like have afternoon tea or book a sightseeing tour. If we have an evening meal together he uses his allowance so I’m only paying for me. Some uk, some international. I’ve visited places I’ve never been before. It’s a definite lifestyle perk for me. Very much norm in his sector for spouses of either sex to tag along.

If I was your husband I would make a point of being very professional and polite to the female colleague, but would make no effort to socialise with her. While accepting the change in policy I would also be vocal about my disappointment so she is under no impression that she was speaking for the silent majority.

Do you think she expected such a big response to her complaint? If so, she either doesn't care if she's liked or she mis-read the room massively and she won't be at the company long.

I imagine the objection is primarily because people don’t like others getting perks / something for free. They see it as unfair.

If I were to be more charitable towards those who strongly object, I would say that perhaps there’s concern that any expectations outside work hours (networking, team bonding etc.) would be harder if spouses are around waiting for workers so they can go and have dinner with them or whatever else. eg the scenario below

Boss: Oh, client X thought seeing as we’re here in their city, we should go for a drink after work.
Worker: Sorry, my wife/husband is here with me and we’ve booked dinner at that time.
Boss: Oh.

And honestly in these circumstances I don't want to spent time with somebodies wife either.

Why on earth not!?

I agree.
It's fine to meet up with spouse or friends for dinner. It's your own time. However, it's a bit unprofessional of rh and colleagues to allow spouses to stay over. The company would save money for a single room per staff member.

They wouldn't need evidence to implement a policy which doesn't treat any employee(s) unfairly, in accordance with their contractual rights, company policy and legislation.

I would be worried about her lack of logic (spouses came before she was there, so it's clearly nothing to do with her!)

Please don't bring logic into this: it spoils the story for the colleague.

I agree. And, as a woman and depending where you are staying, you sometimes just can’t trot out and explore and find a nice restaurant or bar. So then end up in the hotel which, depending on your expenses policy can end up really expensive.

No, she didn't! Deliberate misrepresentation, what's wrong with you?

she has made a complaint suggesting that I and the other colleague’s wife had deliberately tagged along as they believed she would be unprofessional and inappropriate.

I agree the ‘reason’ given sounds dodgy and there may be some editorializing by the OP, the OP’s DH or the DH’s boss.

However there are a lot of people on here who think it’s inappropriate for spouses to be in the hotel room.

But again, assuming all expenses are detailed and accounted for and there’s no special work event planned in the evening,

WHAT is the actual difference between going home after work to your spouse and going upstairs to a hotel room after work to your spouse.

It’s really presumptuous to assume colleagues would spend evening together unless it was part of the work event. Lots of people like downtime to decompress after work especially if heath issues or ND. People can do what want in free time.
Colleague A could have said I’m off to do my weekly online mandarin class, colleague B it’s college parents evening I’m joining that on zoom, colleague C I’m going to have a massage in hotel health spa etc.
As I understand it husband and male colleague were doing different things it wasn’t they were doing something together and leaving her out.
Under no circumstances would I socialise in free time with her if I was your husband going forwards.

Yes, what's she going to do next? Complain if someone's partner rings them up? If they go off on paternity leave? Will she be jealous of that too? I would be worried about her lack of logic (spouses came before she was there, so it's clearly nothing to do with her!) as she could apply this in the office too.

We are getting half a story here though a misogynistic lense.

I’m perplexed by it too - how can getting a free hotel room once every 6 months translate to a “nice lifestyle”? Also confused as to how OP can drop everything and go and join him on these trips - I assume using annual leave?

Also, what’s happening to the husband’s dinner allowance if he’s going for a pub dinner with his wife? Is he strictly itemising the meal so only the food he ate is expensed?

My take on this is that companies are generally cracking down on perks that can be perceived negatively, even if they don’t cost the company a penny more. It’s sad (because who doesn’t love a perk?) but definitely of the times.

Especially because it's just their feelings got a bit diddumsy hurt as they imagined some slight was intended by a husband and wife wanting to have a meal together.

ETA I mean honestly, talk about making herself the centre of something that had naught to do with her.