Husband’s female colleague’s issue being taken very seriously.

In theory they could, but rooms are booked for single occupancy so we get a cheaper rate on our business booker. Logistically how that would be audited I have no idea so it could have happened.

As I said, I’m more concerned with how inappropriately the company has acted blaming one person for the rule changing and throwing her to the wolves. I can understand why she felt the way she did, and possibly taken aback when discovering partners were staying. But that’s not a reason for her to be treated the way she is both by her colleagues AND wives who don’t even work for the company.

Yes, I agree with this. Whatever the company decided to do about the rather strange complaint, it ought to have the courage of it's convictions and not be all apologetic about it's chosen policy.

The only explanation I can think of that would make any kind of sense would be that she's been shagging somebody she shouldn't have, and when he decided to take his wife on trips instead of shagging her, she got pissed and threatened to out him.

After reading every post, one thing everyone seems to be missing is how completely unprofessional the company is. Not because of the plus ones/the hotels - that’s a whole different thing.

The fact she has spoken to management and made what should be a confidential disclosure to them (and let’s be honest, nobody knows what the disclosure was beyond feeling uncomfortable) and within a day or two it’s been passed as a new rule, blamed as her being the reason why it’s changed my management and put her into the firing line from this pack of Stepford wives. She isn’t the victim in this, she could have merely been having a chat with her Manager about how the trip was, expressed surprise that plus ones were there and they’ve taken it out of context and blamed her for everything. It more sounds like the company wanted to change the decision and have used her as a reason why. If I was her I’d say my trust and confidence is gone in the company after making a disclosure.

The other thing that gets me is OP’s insistence that having a group of wives there makes the company better - she isn’t part of the company full stop. It’s of no bearing as to what she thinks she does for the company as it’s her own interpretation.

I work in HR and book travel for our employees within the U.K. and I’ve never had an employee ask for their partner to stay overnight. I didn’t even know it was a thing! Especially when they stay in Premier Inn’s, shattered from a day at work and just want to eat dinner and go to bed.

It was quite obvious it was pure AI.

Both. It’s a chat forum. Use your brain and think for yourself.

Annoying, or wrong ?

This is the the most ridiculous AI post. Please stop. It’s annoying.

With his wife on a work trip. A point which has been done to death on this thread!!

Which it wasn’t. One of the men invited her to dinner and she refused.

She has certainly excluded herself now.

From a HR perspective it’s not about being friends. It’s about any perception of exclusion, unfair or discriminatory treatment.

..

It all feels vaguely reminiscent of how (male) historians like to vilify powerful women in history ...if I didn't know better, I would suggest internalised misogyny

I didn’t say otherwise. I just don’t see the need to demonize her to argue that the company shouldn’t be changing the policy.

Nobody needs to be friends with colleagues though.

And behaving like this isn’t going to make her any, is it?

I think it’s more likely, if it’s a male dominated profession, that she’s struggled with colleagues freezing her out because her face doesn’t fit and so finds networking, finding a mentor, getting the better opportunities etc. harder as she doesn’t have the personal relationships with colleagues that the male employees do. She’d hoped to build some of that camaraderie on this trip and then the wives tag along and she feels Othered again. And while she’s wrong in her interpretation of why the wives tagged along this time, her feelings of being frozen out of a boys club could be very valid.

Surely depends on what you're doing! When I was working away from base it was often to get a job done. Other colleagues working there weren't all necessarily staying away from home as they lived nearer and the people we were working for would have been horrified if I'd suggested improving relationships of an evening 🤣🤣🤣

You saying “Allowed” to is strange.

The room is already provided and the spouse incurs no extra expense to the company. We often did this, I did my own thing while he worked/attended conferences/ dinners. I paid for my flights when needed and we sometimes extended the hotel booking to have a few days holiday after.
Totally normal. You’re not owned by your employers “out of hours”.

If (like me) you feel strongly about ChatGPT / AI on MN, please come and say so on this thread under Site Stuff. MN monitors the Site Stuff board.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/5490256-posts-written-by-chat-gpt-and-other-ai?page=1

I have read the OP’s updates.

And perhaps they did say something which was open to interpretation, or perhaps it’s malicious or maybe the woman thinks something was inappropriate but it isn’t by objective standards. Who knows.

It’s still odd to me that the OP thinks her constant presence on these trips is good for the company. And I can see how a social circle of plus ones on work trips could feel isolating to a new employee or someone not in the gang.