Husband’s female colleague’s issue being taken very seriously.

So long as they make sure there is a genuine offer to include her, they have done all that is needed. It isn't everyone else's fault if she can't get over being invited but still feeling not invited.

ETA we can't all dictate exactly how every social situation must look to satisfy our insecurities.

Nope, it's fine, lots of companies do it, I have a friend who does just this pretty regularly, she takes her husband on such trips. Doesn't matter if your company does or doesn't do it, many do.

And of course they must bring their wives with them if that's their choice as any company who tries to bully and harass their employees into enforced jollification with colleagues must be put in their place, and quickly.

I took the saw the email to mean the email sent to all staff saying no spouses to share hotel rooms. Boss spoke to chap in 50s as he was in office face to face and then phoned the dh as he was working away again at a client’s office. Not that boss shared her complaint email with him.

Maybe it's not so common now because someone has complained about not being able to go for dinner and drinks with the men without their spouses present.

My colleagues are off to play darts in a couple of weeks. They won’t have a miserable time because like a lot of offices I’ve worked in a lot of people generally get on quite well. It might even spill into the evening which people seem to think is untouchable.

Yes. I raised this too but no one else seems to have commented on it. Op said her dh saw the email. How? It shouldn't have been shared with him . The fact it was, especially in a male dominant environment speaks volumes imo.

I've never seen mad men, but if the husbands and wives want to spend their free time together who is this new colleague to dictate otherwise?
She was welcome to socialise but choose not to.

There is custom & practice now as much as there was in the 1950s. It isn’t BAU now to bring your spouse on a work trip and I certainly wouldn’t do it after being asked not to unless I wanted to sour relations with my employer.

If it is a small company and someone's whining about you having dinner with your wife, maybe they thought the men deserved to know this. Perhaps they felt they had to give reasons for why they are now stripping long standing colleagues of a long standing freebie based on a weird complaint from a newish colleague.

I’m imagining a small company. Serious complaint (made at a weekend) owner thinks just nip in bud and ban spouses to avoid a potential fallout.Without much thought or any HR advice. Eg chap in his 50s wears a cpap machine but hasn’t told work as wife stays with him. Now he’ll need to speak to them and agree a reasonable adjustment.

Does no one else find it odd and unprofessional that the boss even shared what the woman’s concern was? It doesn’t add up and honestly seems like a terrible place to work.

It wasn't required, and it won't be happening now, for sure - not after she invented a reason in her own mind for why she was politely invited to dinner with older people - i.e. she decided the reason the wives were there was that they thought she'd behave unprofessionally and unacceptably. Completely fabricated, as far as we know.

A thousand red flags plus a klaxon.

They were doing there own thing op was off somewhere different on her own with her husband
the other 2 were going out with there wives

Life is so boring and joyless nowadays honestly I really pity the younger generation.

Who on earth wants to socialise with colleagues really, talk shop all day and evening as well?

It is common, it’s often required and best interest aren’t really that relevant.

A more junior colleague had the two colleagues she was working with bring their wives on a short business trip, something which the OP describes as a “nice lifestyle”. That’s very unusual to me. I’d wager it was common 20-30 years ago but it isn’t now.

Nope, the modern world is just like every other era in time - people do different things, all the time and there is no one set standard. Can't imagine anything worse than being forced to hang out with colleagues I had nothing in common with. I just wouldn't do it, unless it was a requirement for the job - and in this case it wasn't.

The company can tell people they can't come as freebies. They can't tell people they can't socialise with their spouses at the end of the work day - so if the wives want to keep coming they can pay for themselves. It was a nice freebie while it lasted, but all good things must come to an end.

Right. It is such a strange notion that we must invent scenarios to fill in the gaps. All we have is the OPs word to go on. Sometimes OPs do sound unreliable, over dramatic etc - but OP sounds fine in both her comments, so of course we can only take her word for things, as that's all we've got 😄

Providing OP and her husband pay for any costs above those the company would have paid if OP had not tagged along (as OP stated they did), there are no tax implications.

It may be normal in the sense of being common, but it's not required and it's not in every employee's best interests.

I have never seen an HR department move so quickly!

Complaint lodged, staff spoken to and a new policy published and communicated all by 1pm on a Monday.

Very efficient.

Agree! Is this one of the “in the spirit of womanhood” examples where we’re meant to champion the plucky corporate lovely against the shallow, shallow vacuous ‘WAGS’ as they’ve been kindly labelled?

I’m think the whole thing seems very Mad Men. Wives joining their husbands on every work trips & socialising as a group & describing this as improving the company is very 1950s. It’s not reflective of the modern world, it takes opportunity for socialising with colleagues as colleagues off the table.

I believe there is a tax implication re: writing off single occupancy accommodation if an employee's spouse is using it in the way OP describes. On that basis, a company policy of not having guests stay in your hotel room would be sound.

Obviously they can't dictate who you see and what you do when you're off the clock, so long as you are actually off the clock and it's not interfering with your work.

If OP and her partner booked their own room, socialized out of working hours and the quality of his work didn't suffer, an employer couldn't seek to prevent or penalize him for that.

Ah they should have all deferred to her before deciding if little wifey could come along.
She may have felt a bit awkward, but so what? I'm sure she doesn't need the men to babysit her.

I have no idea what you’re ranting about.

I have taken the op’s work for what occurred as I have no other certainty and am unwilling to make up stories.