Husband’s female colleague’s issue being taken very seriously.

I have questions this is so weird to me. Where are these work trips causing spouses to want to go? How are you all available?

Jeez I though the op was bad, this is even worse.

This is like something written in the 1950s. It’s all wife’s who tag along.and the only female wrote an email saying the wives were only there so their husbands didn’t shag ghe woman in her 30s or she didn’t try to shag them.

what am I even reading, 😂

Possibly there’s an affair going on between this lady and one of the men, happening when no partners go!

I know what employment contracts say I work in that field, so stop telling me what I’m “assuming”.. The professional services I refer to to not include admin and other stuff you’ve listed, many of which are not technically professional services Admin are not generally expected to work outside contracted hours generally, it’s a support function not a professional services role.

I’m referring to professional services roles like legal, accountancy, some forms of consultancy.

Exactly. she knows how it starts.

"She has made a complaint suggesting that I and the other colleague’s wife had deliberately tagged along as they believed she would be unprofessional and inappropriate."

She thought you were hoping for an orgy?

Eh? ...
Accounts
Admin
Purchasing
Building Services
Legal (some overtime, some business social)
HR (some social)
Companies I've worked at have also had ...
Archives
Occupational Health
Market Research
Strategy development (some overtime, some social)
Design management (some business social)
... all of which clocked out at end of business hours.

No, professional services aren't paid by the hour. They're paid for the job, within their contracted hours. Their contracts don't say they must put in extra hours to hob-nob with colleagues. If they want to do that, they do it to their own schedule. If they don't want to, they don't.

If @Sweetmarzipan's husband is an auditor, for instance, he can only work in the client's accounts department while it's open. He can't discuss the work in public spaces. He's extremely unlikely to have a contract specifying social availability.

I had to be socially available nearly all the time, which is why I got paid more than many of the above and had a huge expenses allowance.

You have to stop assuming all jobs are like yours 😳

This.

I do find it bizarre that OP talks about contributing to the company in a positive way as if her socialising with her husband while he’s on a work trip is a team building exercise.

There is a culture where I work of not leaving people out particularly newer employees. That contributes positively to the culture.

I started work just after the 2008 crash. No one was obsessed with 9-5, many people worked until the wee hours and some of those same people were then made redundant. I feel like people obsessed with work time being 9-5 inc on work trips don’t know how utterly privileged they are. I now work is a less demanding role and I still at times have to work or be with colleagues after 5.

Absolutely this. I have frequent work trips to Asia. My DH comes along around once a year. He amuses himself during the day and we meet up at night. Last time a colleague from the US, that I am particularly friendly with, had her husband with her and the four of us met up for dinner.

The company is aware we do this and as long as there's no additional costs, ie, they pay for their own meals, it's not an issue.

People working in professional services do not get paid by the hour.

I’ve been on work trips with colleagues where a couple of their spouses have been there. Why not? It’s a free hotel room and all they have to pay is their own flights. Work trips are pretty full on so it’s not as though they’re hanging around together during the trip itself, but then they might extend the trip (on their own £££) and have a little holiday at the end. I’m single and it has never occurred to me to object to this. Last time I was on such a trip I had a lovely hour before an evening dinner meeting having a drink with colleague and her husband. Then she and I went off for the dinner and her husband had his dinner alone.

What professional services jobs are actually 9-5. It’s not the same as clocking into Tesco. Most professional services jobs have people working & socialising after 5. And this is covered in the contract.

Not really it was a nice perk, now it’s gone. Be glad DH has a job and move on.

Are you being paid for your time by the hour for when you are away. The company can’t dictate what you do unless they are paying for your time outside of company hours.

Nothing to stop her bringing someone along so don’t understand why this has anything to do with sex.

I have a friend I have known for years who worked with exh when they were at a company where this type of staying away was required.
I don’t think she ever conceived herself to be a 3rd wheel ever.
She would invite her partner or sometimes her mum along. They would join in with the conversation and eat out with us or sometimes we would book different restaurants

I think this woman thinks she is still being paid by the company when out of hours and the company can dictate what people do.

If she thinks she is going to be going out with her fellow work colleagues on the next trip she is deluding herself

I've experienced the reverse of this. Only female joined an all male unit working away from home who often ate together. Actually recieved a call from one of the wives asking if I felt it was the right role for a woman! Increase in various wife visits often expressing they weren't going to 'miss out on the fun' whilst their partner was working away. Bizarre frankly. It was work, not a party. one or two actually seemed to regard themselves as an employed part of the team. Accompany your spouse when they are on a solo trip by all means, but it is inappropriate for spouses to tag along with groups of colleagues working away.

A company can’t dictate what happens outside of company hours unless as well as the hotel they also pay by the hour for every hour the person is away from their home

Sounds like she can’t see the problems she has caused for herself

She could have joined you all and next time brought along her mum/friend/partnerr

Instead she has created bad feeling towards her. I think the company will become quite a toxic place for her.

Does she think by doing this that when she goes away next time her fellow colleagues will be having dinner with her

She is probably going to be shunned and if forced to have dinner with her the conversation will become guarded as she can’t be trusted

Spouses were not going to the work functions.
Just sharing rooms and spending time together after work.

No way would I be socialising with that woman if I were working for the company. What a batshit assumption and how juvenille to report you.

Yes, it's a perk but the company is requiring workers to stay away from home. Their time at the end of the conference days is for them to recharge - socialise, sleep - however they see fit.

All agreeable employees should file a group complaint to management to ask to return to their prior arrangement. It promotes friendship and respect between workers and their partners and identifies the hardship they bear having to work often away from home.

It is a reasonable request.

OP, if I were you I would be tempted to book my own room next time and just carry on spending all non-working time with my husband. If only to make the point that an employer can't dictate who their employees have dinner with in their time off.

This - for work trips in my industry, the expectation is everyone eats together and no one is left out.

Ofc she isn't going to accept the invite because it wasn't a proper invite, it was an awkward 'you can come if you want' when the guy felt caught out. Not as 'hey I dont know what you're doing for dinner, but these are our plans if you would like to join' earlier on in the day.

I probably wouldn't have complained, but I do think its just fairer for everyone to have a no spouse policy.

Why do colleagues have to have dinner together? It's a work trip but still 9 to 5. Dinner arrangements aren't part of the work contract.

Sure I can see it as a politeness thing, but not something to complain about to HR.

Were you paid in full for those extra hours you worked? If not then it's not company time and you should have felt free to switch off from work and do whatever you wanted with your evenings.