AIBU to say no when my nearly 6-year-old wants ballet flats?

1. I didn't say all ballet flats are pink.

1. I didn't say pink is just for girls

1. My child isn't a ballet dancer so what male ballet dancers wear is irrelevant to me.

You did the right thing suggesting a different shoe.

And that is fine, if mine wanted to do that I wouldn't stop them. I wouldn't encourage it or buy it for them but I wouldn't stop them nor would I ridicule them for it. Would I encourage them to do that in their safe space at home? Yes I 100% would because I don't want them to be bullied or ridiculed and whether any of us like it it is what would happen.

They are different but Im not really clear why their clothing should be. What about which colours they wear, who they play with, what toys they like? Should those things be different too.

@HannahW2768 I wouldn't buy ballet flats for a 6 year old but I was always perfectly happy for my boys to choose shoes/clothes from the girls section if they wanted to (mostly they didn't but ds4 did have a pink, glittery pair of trainers one summer).

Ballet flats are actually bad for your feet. I wouldnt put a girl or boy age 6 in them.
Just say they are not good for his feet ad they fall off and he cant climb or run in them.
Lots of kids shoes are a unisex style and there are plenty of unisex kids shoes that are stable and comfortable.
Its fine to say no to your children when they want stuff.

My sons are all these things too. They have boundaries, discipline etc. But they can (and do) wear nail varnish, makeup and clothes or shoes from the "women's" section.

I wouldn’t allow my 4 year old ds to wear girl clothes or shoes. I don’t care if it’s not PC.

Haha I knew this was coming.
I can assure you my DS is not one to just follow the crowd or obey....... infact I wish he bloody would a bit more at times. He very much has his own mind.

What is with the obsession about kids having to be "different" these days. It's like it's wrong for boys to be boys and girls to be girls or for kids to be kids too without there having to be a label or some bloody quirk to them.

My kids are kids, their happy, healthy, safe, loved, secure, thriving and able to express themselves but guess what they have boundaries, discipline and are taught and encouraged to behave in age appropriate ways...... shoot me as Im clearly a shit mum!

As somebody who deals with joints, I’d say no based on the fact there is no arch support and there is no rise at the heel (same as sliders, flip flops, ugg boots).

However, I wouldn’t say no based on them being ‘girl shoes”.

@Labelledelune I think kids are much smarter than we give them credit for to be honest. Most will be aware of what girls/boys “normally” wear - it’s drummed into them in every shop/book/tv show/daily life. Sometimes they just want to be kids and try things that they like 🤷🏻‍♀️
I find a lot of things on this thread far more concerning than letting kids wear clothes that aren’t ‘meant’ for them. The ones who refuse to explain/justify things to their kids because they are adults and kids should just listen?! 😳🫠 The ones teaching their boys that they have to wear plain clothes because that’s what’s “normal” (apparently!). I find both of these very sad!

there is a massive difference between WANTING a child to do something and not being worried if THEY want to do it.

Why would he need to express an interest in ballet? I spent the early 2000s killing my feet in ballet flats and can assure you I have never had any interest in ballet my whole life. It’s just a name of a style of shore. Like most people who wear baseball caps will never play baseball.

why feel bad? why not buy them what they want?

Personally it's not something I would encourage and certainly not at this young age...... my now nearly 8 yo DS used to love dressing up in a princess dress when he was younger and I never stopped him, I didn't encourage it though and I wouldn't buy them for him but he would occasionally come home from his childminders with one in his bag and I'd allow him to put it on at home whilst he was playing etc he would even wear the little plastic "clip clop" shoes too....... now however at the mere mention of it and if he see's a picture of hin he is mortified lol he has now grown into being a proper boys boy. Back then he was in a childminding setting surrounded by girls and they had no idea of the difference with genders etc. I just think at this age they mimic and copy what their peers and also adults who they look upto and admire/love etc without understanding. It's all perfectly normal for them but I think by buying him a pair you are encouraging it and setting him up for ppl taking the piss.

You do you but I would not be comfortable with my son wearing girl’s clothing. I also know he would be bullied if he did so. It seems to me, some people like using their children bullied so don’t care as much but I don’t want it and care.

Why do you want boys to wear girl’s clothing?

That's my argument with any child. Foot support comes before fashion

It’s a no from me as they’re crap for feet, even as adults.

OTOH my 19 year old DS is glad I allowed him to wear what he wanted, even when it was from the girls section. He still wears women's shoes most of the time because they are nicer than men's.

Im confused about people talking about Carlos Acosta/ male ballet dancers/ ballet lessons. I thought @HannahW2768's son wanted the style of outdoor shoe that are generally called 'ballet flats' not actual ballet shoes. And as someone who does ballet, they are nothing alike.