AIBU to say no when my nearly 6-year-old wants ballet flats?

Don’t think they are very supportive for growing feet and I wouldn’t have bought them for either sex at that age

I always find threads like this interesting, as to change the societal norms someone has to step out of line.

all of you on here who wouldn’t let your child go against cultural or societal norms for fear of bullying.

it makes me think how brave the parents of Ruby Bridges must have been. Their child stepped outside the boundaries of a societal norm and did suffer for it.

but Ruby and her parents actions went a long way to end racial segregation.

i applaud them. I applaud anyone who takes a risk to change something.

My dd did a very minor thing- she wore trousers to school when none of the girls did. First day she wanted to go back to a skirt as she felt too different, but by the end of the week several other girls turned up in trousers. It’s now completely normal for girls to wear trousers/shorts. Someone has to be the first to change things.

Sorry I thought you were who i was replying to at first...same point without the "yous" i suppose

You are not as edgy as you think you are. Just pointing out how utter stupid your remark was.
You say girls wearing blue is not the same, without expanding why. You say no one wants to be rigid but then say there needs to be standards.

You say words are violent? No but yours were pointless.

You need your safe space. Words are violent, aren't they?

Start with an insult then go on to make oxymornic statements without any thought backing it up...Great contribution

People never say this when it's about having the latest iPhone or make up or fashion. They never go "oh they'll be ridiculed for not having the latest tech," even though that iz much more likely in a day a day to day situation.

It's always "well anyone that makes fun of your child for this or that is not a good friend" but when it comes to boys wearing anything slightly effeminate then this site is always on the bullies side saying the victims asked for it....

I think you are giving the people on here too much credit if you think that....

Ballet flats aren't suitable for any healthy feet.

I took it as people thinking the child wanted actual ballet shoes. Tbh other than having a rounded toe and a little bow at the front (which actual ballet shoes don't have) they are nothing alike. But that could be my autism making me take things too literally.

I'm all for boys seeing men do ballet, it's an amazing powerful art form. But that has nothing to do with what shoes they want.

How are you confused? Yes ballet flats are outdoor but the design is based on ballet shoes.

the point is to show boys what male ballet dancers are capable of. Instead of “no you can’t wear shoes like that because they’re for girls” start saying “look what men can do when they wear that style of shoe”.

i took my dd to see Carlos Acosta when she was small. For a long time she thought boys doing ballet was perfectly normal, and pretty amazing. She saw ballet as an athletic activity, not just girls in sparkly tutu’s. It was only when they did ballet at school and many of the parents wouldn’t sign the consent to let their boys join she realised that it was controversial.

we need to stop dividing by gender and start showing kids what boys/girls can do when they don’t constrain themselves by stereotype.

OP’s comments to her child show how much we are still teaching our children those stereotypes.

I wouldn't want my daughter to wear them just because they're really bad for your feet.

If you enjoy seeing boys in ribbons & bows crack on. It'll thankfully never be the norm for the vast majority of school boys. When they're older its up to them.

no one wears shoes with their genitals, so they’re not ‘for boys’ or ‘for girls’ if they fit ok. Ballerina flats aren’t really suitable for any child of that age though, so I’d have led with that.

I once saw a dad and a boy in the ELC shop, the little boy was asking for a toy pram. The dad said - with a straight face - no, that’s for girls. The dad was pushing the boy’s baby sibling’s pram around the shop at the time 🤦🏻‍♀️

It is never too young to teach your son that anything thats "for girls" is embarrassing and rubbish apparently.

The main difference appears to be that girls’ feet require flimsy pretty shoes and boys get sturdy functional ones. If you go by what’s in the shops, that is!

Of course there’s no difference between a boy and girl’s feet at this age. And ballet flats are crap shoes.
But… a little boy wants shoes like his mum. Toddlers idolise their parents and want to copy them. My son used to wear my high heels all the time! There’s nothing more to it at that age, it’s dress up and fun and imitating adults they see.

And what if he wanted ballet shoes, are they only for girls?

"utterly ridiculous" is an opinion not a fact

Just stick to barefoot shoes - they are better for the development of the foot anyway.

I wouldn't buy any of my children random shoes just because they happened to like a pair I was buying and asked for ones like them. I would probably say something like - well, maybe for your birthday or Christmas. And leave it at that. If he still was on about it when bday/Christmas rolled around, then I'd have no problem buying them for him.

Simply because boys when they reach school age look utterly ridiculous in a princess frock or hair in ribbons & bows etc. If when they become young adults they decide they like the idea of being a cross dresser, are trans, or they have an ambition to become a drag queen thats a whole different story.