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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to say no when my nearly 6-year-old wants ballet flats?

286 replies

HannahW2768 · 22/03/2026 22:46

Hello dont know if chose correct topic but am I wrong/unreasonable for this?
My son who is almost 6 years old was with me when I went into clarks to buy myself some work shoes the other day and he really really liked the pair of ballet flats I got and said he wants a pair like them for himself
I told him no as these are for girls and people may not like him wearing them but was that wrong to do and should I have said yes and got him similar pair in his size?

OP posts:
angelikacpickles · 22/03/2026 23:04

Duckyfondant · 22/03/2026 22:52

Girls' and boys' feet are not the same. Nothing wrong with making that clear at a young age.

In what way are six year old boy's feet different to six year old girls' feet?

Ballet flats probably aren't good for any children's feet but I'm sure a well fitted pair of shoes designed for either gender would be absolutely fine on the other in terms of foot health.

PollyBell · 22/03/2026 23:00

They are terrible on anyone

Bigearringsbigsmile · 22/03/2026 22:55

TigTails · 22/03/2026 22:53

YANBU. It’s actually ok (though a bit unfashionable) to discourage boys from wearing clothes made for girls. It’s ok for them to know that they are different. Equal, but different.

Oh god this.
Just say no

BeenChangedForGood · 22/03/2026 22:54

@HannahW2768 I really hate the “they’re for girls” thing 🙄🙄 I have a DS the same age and he picks and wears what he likes - what’s the issue with it?!

That being said - I would have said no to the ballet flats for both boys and girls on the grounds that they’re terrible for little feet & completely impractical for playing in 🤷🏻‍♀️

TigTails · 22/03/2026 22:53

YANBU. It’s actually ok (though a bit unfashionable) to discourage boys from wearing clothes made for girls. It’s ok for them to know that they are different. Equal, but different.

LeftBoobGoneRogue · 22/03/2026 22:53

I would tell him no because alley flat are bad for your feet. I will also tell my daughter the same thing.

Duckyfondant · 22/03/2026 22:52

Girls' and boys' feet are not the same. Nothing wrong with making that clear at a young age.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 22/03/2026 22:51

I voted yanbu before reading and I assumed it was for your dd.
They are garbage for foot support so on that basis alone its a no from me....

teletubbyy · 22/03/2026 22:49

I would say the same I think, it doesn’t need encouraging imo.

LadyHester · 22/03/2026 22:49

Why on earth not? Unless you would turn down the request from th same aged girl on tb grounds that they are bad for young feet.

CrocusesFlowering · 22/03/2026 22:48

What was his reaction when you said no?

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