To ask you to please help me learn how to drive?

I learned at your age OP, I was nervous as hell and thought it couldn't be done. It really was so hard but I persevered and guess what I now love driving! I cannot believe I waited this long.

Every time something is challenging I remind myself that I am finally a great driver.

Ask for recommendations on local Facebook pages

You can do it.

i don’t doubt anything you’ve said, but to individual learners, especially young people, it is often prohibitively expensive.

I admit to an individual they might be expensive but in the grand scheme of things they are really not. Where I am, the average is around £40 an hour for a life skill. The instructor does not see £40 an hr, it costs thousands to train to become an ADI, think of the overheads, we all know the price of fuel and anyone who owns a car knows how expensive that is for the ordinary person, an instructor has twice yearly services, wear and tear on the car is far more than the average. The insurance to cover learners isn't cheap. People will think nothing of paying £40 at the weekend getting hammered, £30 for nails, god knows what for hair the list goes on. Yet a life skill where the instructor is responsible for the safety of the learner, himself and everyone else on the road is considered expensive.

Sorry it's not meant to be goady but to keep reading how expensive lessons are when, as the wife of an ADI I know the reality of running a driving school. It really grinds my gears (no pun intended)

Be prepared to spend a fortune! My son is currently learning and lessons are very expensive.

Sort the anxiety first.

I recently had a couple of sessions of hypnotherapy with@eyesopenwideawake on here, she works via zoom.

If you don't want to go that route start with this. Before you go to sleep imagine yourself driving your children to fun activities.

Then work backwards, think about how pleased you will be when (not if) you pass your test.

After that think about how much you enjoyed leaning.

You can't do this in 3-4 nights but it is a way of shifting the anxiety to excitement.

I moved from London - where I never needed to drive - to a fairly rural village, where I absolutely needed to drive. So at the age of 52 - much older than you, OP, I took lessons. The game changer is to learn in an automatic. I found manual controls too difficult. I passed first time.

Definitely do auto.

I had lessons when I was much younger and had the most awful experience in my driving test and didn't drive a car again for 30 years.

Did the same as you, moved somewhere we needed a car. DH could drive but it was so limiting for me.

I found an older female instructor who had switched to auto recently. I didn't tell anyone I was learning until I was close to taking my test. Didn't want the pressure. I said to myself it takes as long as it takes. I didn't want to rush into a test, I wanted to be a safe driver.

All in it was 14 months, a 2 hour lesson once a week. There were a few breaks for hols and my instructor had 3 weeks off when she had an op. I didn't drive in my DH's car either to practice, I only had paid lessons.

Yes it's expensive, yes it will take ages. Just accept it.

Bought myself a car (electric) and i love driving now. You just need to be patient with yourself and kind.

@Shutupandrive I’d be careful with this advice OP - the wait for practical tests at the moment is ridiculous and you can’t book your practical until you have passed your theory. I personally did lessons until I felt comfortable with the basics then sat theory test and got a test booked (on my instructors advice, given the wait times)

I passed theory 6 weeks ago and can’t get a practical test until the end of July.

Im in my 30s and currently learning 👋🏼 Honestly, I was a nervous wreck before my first lesson and it genuinely was not anywhere near as bad as I was expecting! I’m learning manual as then I can drive anything and I’m not limited to automatic.
also ignore the advice about only going for a female instructor 🙄 go on local Facebook groups and ask for recommendations ☺️ I had 4 lessons with a female instructor that I found myself who made me feel horrendous and spoke to me like I was 5 years old 🙄 I’m now about 75% of the way there with a male instructor who could not be nicer - and he was highly recommended locally!

Good luck ☺️ let us know when you’ve had a go!

Sorry you had that as a first experience but I wouldn't recommend dismissing someone on gender. Dh has had pupils go to him from a female instructors who are either too nervous to actually take the learner onto a main road, another bad tempered and shouting when the learner gets something wrong. They have come to dh with their confidence in tatters only to find learning can be fun after all. What I'm saying is don't discriminate based solely on gender, find the right person for the job. Also any inappropriate behaviour needs reporting to the DVSA, any decent driving instructor will agree with that.

Retired driving instructor here.
As a rough guide, allow two hours of tuition for every year of age and manual usually takes ten hours more than automatic. Word of mouth is always best for finding an instructor, but if you don't have those recommendations then check that their licence is pink as a green licence is for trainees. You could also check their grade, although that isn't always an indicator of their real world abilities (it's a role playing exercise)

My DH used to be a driving instructor, he wouldn’t recommend intensive courses as most people can only concentrate for an hour or two and so doing long sessions is a waste of time. You will likely make more mistakes and loose confidence

I passed two months before my 44th birthday.

1. Theory was easy , there’s a limited number of questions just download the app and answer lots of them
2. We owned a manual car so I went to manual and I’m glad I did now but honestly if you’ve got an automatic there’s perhaps no point except possibly easier to find an instructor
3. I ended up with an instructor who was a good fit for me, he had a high pass rate, taught to the test and said very little. He wasn’t a good instructor so much as just a good fit, I do better with people who say little than lots of corrections
4. shorter lessons weekly worked better for me, I did 90 mins most weeks.
5. i let it take the time it takes. Cancelled a first test because I didn’t feel ready (instructor was surprised I did this as he thought I was) and then passed first time on the rebooked test. I preferred my own judgement about how ready I was

Im dyspraxic and had tried to learn to drive on many occasions before. It was actually easier this time, being older.

Very similar to you but without kids. Learning at 42 as will probably be moving out of a city in the next few years. Learning automatic was the way to go. Also getting a female driving instructor- I didn’t want to be locked in a car with a creepy patronising man (first learning experience at 17 tainted it for me). There are lots of tips and videos on YouTube and TikTok now to avail of. Prepare for everything about learning to drive to be expensive.

I’m an instructor.

Definitely go local, you’re driving where you’ll be driving post test. See if you can find someone by word of mouth.

I disagree about the auto/manual. Manual gives you more options and I’ve never failed with anyone yet to teach someone.

Re anxiety, probably about 50% of my students suffer from it, it’s very common. Go with an instructor with understanding of that and a gentle attitude. There’s no rate of progression you need to be measuring up to (except for your expenditure) so take your time if you’re worried.

Personally I would avoid videos, there’s a lot of TikTok instructors aimed towards providing a bit of drama. Also a lot are factually incorrect.

my oldest was 48, you can do this!

Nope would never do automatic as restricts you and my DH swapped from learning automatic to manual with no problems 10 lessons and he passed at 39 thus when one of our cars broke down and no auto availablity at our nearest garagehe was able to drive the hire manual to work..

Two things.
My dad tried to teach me to drive. He taught my siblings but l was dreadfully nervous. I had no idea what was going on. He said..in a kind way..l would never make a driver! But l took lessons..took a few extra and am driving since.
My friends dad died suddenly at 60. His wife never drove. She was a SAHM and had quite a sheltered life. She took lessons and got going and drove until she was in her 80s.
You can do this. Accept you are nervous but so are a lot of people starting. Don't let that stop you. The instructor will have dealt with nerves many times.

This may sound stupid, but make sure you know your left from your right as an instructor will be telling you to turn left or right quite a bit.

...just to buck the trend on here...yes autos are great for town driving but genrally get less mpg than a manual if that would be important to you ?

I learned at 42, did 30 hours of lessons, passed first time. For the theory I tried to memorise the not so common sense parts and skimmed over the obvious parts. Don't do your theory until you feel you are approaching ready to go for your test as the theory only lasts two years

If at all possible, get a recommendation from someone you know for an instructor. I did better with the independent guy recommended by my coworker than with my original one.

Going off at a bit of a tangent, I have been driving a manual for over 50 years. Husband recently bought an automatic and I just can't drive it. Every time I brake I nearly put us both through the windscreen. I keep using both feet to brake. Just can't get out of the habit after all these years.

Do automatic. Lots of people told me to get a manual licence because one day I’d need a manual car. I’ve been to Bosnia, and easily hired an automatic car, so I think we’re safe.

Automatic driving lessons usually are more expensive and lessons are already ridiculously expensive so I would have some and get your husband to take you out in his car as much as possible for practice.

Apply for your provisional license - the tough part is an acceptable photo to upload.

Not if you apply online and already hold a valid passport, that photo can be used for your licence.

You can definitely do this!

I'm not sure whether this applies to you as an adult learner but as a mum to teens, my experience is that currently it takes ages to qualify because of a scarcity of places for theory tests, driving instructors and practical tests. COVID created a backlog which still hasn't been cleared. It's not the driving, it's the queue. Up thread, people are talking about a few tester lessons to see if you like the instructor but most teens will tell you that you'll be lucky to be offered any lessons at all!!!

Anecdotally, there is a huge waiting list across the nation for driving lessons and the word on the street (sorry) is that people who have passed a theory test are prioritised by driving instructors (since the theory test qualification expires). Maybe it's easier somewhere else but down here in the sunny south, it's a dog fight.

So my top tips are:
Sign up now for a theory test NOW - you will have weeks, maybe months, to prepare (DD18 signed up in January and her test is in April ... ).

Ask around now for a local driving instructor and apply to add your name to the waiting list so that when you have passed the theory test, you can start lessons ASAP.

Apply for your provisional license - the tough part is an acceptable photo to upload.

Check your insurance - maybe your DH can add you so that you can do some practice driving with him - just the first circuits around a giant car park to get used to where all the switches/gears/buttons are - they're mostly the same from car to car. (you do need insurance, even to circle the car park)

When deciding whether to learn auto or manual you have to consider will you ever need to drive a manual? Do you already have automatic? If so then probably automatic is fine for you. Personally I would hate not having the option to drive either manual or automatic but it's not one size fits all.

Learn to drive with an instructor first then get DH to take you out but remember listen to your instructor don't let DH teach you bad habits (not saying he has any of course) 😂

Just book 1 lesson initially and see how you feel with the instructor. Make sure they are displaying either a pink or green badge, if not they cannot charge for lessons. Go on word of mouth, facebook recommendations and reviews if the instructor has a website or Facebook page.

Don't choose based on gender as a previous poster said, choose the right person for the job. If anyone knows of a dodgy instructor they should be doing the right thing and reporting to the DVSA not tarring everyone with the same brush! Good luck I am sure you will do absolutely fine