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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think some posters get way too invested in threads?

59 replies

catchingup1 · 22/03/2026 11:10

Genuine question because I’ve noticed this a lot lately. You’ll have an OP come on asking for advice or just sharing a situation and within a few replies some posters seem to take it very personally.

They start demanding answers from the OP, picking apart every single thing they’ve said, quoting line by line and then getting annoyed or even angry if the OP doesn’t respond to them specifically. Then it escalates into “what do you actually want from this thread?” as if the OP has to justify posting at all.
It’s like the thread stops being about helping and turns into some kind of interrogation or point scoring exercise.

I get that people are giving their time and opinions but the OP isn’t obliged to reply to every comment or explain themselves to strangers on the internet.
Sometimes it feels like people forget there’s an actual person behind the post, not just a debate to win.

OP posts:
IlovePhilMitchell · 22/03/2026 12:27

Yeah i notice this a lot and sometimes it comes cross as bullying, especially when they talk about the OP and not to them and make sneery remarks.

HisNotHes · 22/03/2026 12:22

It’s really annoying when there’s quite an obvious answer/point to be made/question to be asked which you and other posters have pointed out and the op is only answering the comments that suit them rather than replying to the very pertinent point that you and others have made.

In those circumstances I can get a bit over invested out of frustration and sometimes ask why they’re not answering the question when they’re happily responding to everything else.

KittyHigham · 22/03/2026 12:06

Sometimes I post a single reply and sometimes I get stuck in and engage fully in the debate and discussion. Not haranguing the OP but following up points that are I think are unhelpful/misleading/inaccurate etc. from any poster . Or adding further opinions as the content of the thread evolves. To some that is deemed 'over invested'. But to me it makes MN much more enjoyable. More like IRL conversations and discussions.
The posters that I find irritating are the ones who read the OP and nothing else and post on page 23 of a thread.

Weeelokthen · 22/03/2026 11:42

I agree but the many really lovely, helpful posters who go out their way to help those who are facing difficulties, warms the heart

Endofyear · 22/03/2026 11:36

Yep and people who derail the thread with picky arguments about side issues!

staceyflack · 22/03/2026 11:36

Yes. The end 😆

Shithotlawyer · 22/03/2026 11:34

I just like going back to see whether people have liked my incredibly wise and thoughtful contributions in their multitudes! 😂😂 And of course whether people haven't liked them and disagreed with me.

There is definitely a correlation between the amount I post and what's going on at home. I have various caring things meaning I'm stuck in the house a lot at the moment, so I am putting far too much energy into posting and replying. I hope I'm not personal and mean, and hope I'm funny sometimes too, but I often get a bit soapboxy.

Original poster
catchingup1 · 22/03/2026 11:28

Farewelltothatid · 22/03/2026 11:24

I used to get over invested in threads . I didn't used to interrogate the OP in the manner you describe and I hope I always remembered it was a real life situation. But I used to Watch a lot of threads and get realky emotionally involved and upset by them.

I made a conscious decision to stop watching threads. Sometimes I will revisit them further down the line to see what is happening to the OP.

However I still get notifications if anyone quotes any of my posts or tags me on a thread and I still have a problem with returning to the thread and answering the person who quotes me. So my next step is to stop the notifications and try and let things go.

So yes I really recognise what you are saying. I live a socially isolated life and I know how easy it is to get too sucked into the MN world. I do get very annoyed by the people who treat the OP and their problems as some sort of soap opera there for entertainment.

That’s really honest of you to say.

I think what you’ve said about being socially isolated makes a lot of sense. It’s so easy to get pulled in when you’re following a thread and it starts to feel a bit like a story you’re invested in. Then you find yourself checking back, getting annoyed, wanting to reply to everything.

It does sound like you’ve handled it well though, especially stepping back from watching threads all the time. Even noticing the notifications thing and wanting to switch that off is half the battle really.

Completely agree with you about the soap opera side of it too. That’s the bit that doesn’t sit right, when people forget it’s someone’s actual life and start treating it like entertainment.

I don’t think you’re the kind of poster this thread is about at all, you sound quite thoughtful about it tbh.

OP posts:
Farewelltothatid · 22/03/2026 11:24

I used to get over invested in threads . I didn't used to interrogate the OP in the manner you describe and I hope I always remembered it was a real life situation. But I used to Watch a lot of threads and get realky emotionally involved and upset by them.

I made a conscious decision to stop watching threads. Sometimes I will revisit them further down the line to see what is happening to the OP.

However I still get notifications if anyone quotes any of my posts or tags me on a thread and I still have a problem with returning to the thread and answering the person who quotes me. So my next step is to stop the notifications and try and let things go.

So yes I really recognise what you are saying. I live a socially isolated life and I know how easy it is to get too sucked into the MN world. I do get very annoyed by the people who treat the OP and their problems as some sort of soap opera there for entertainment.