to think some posters get way too invested in threads?

How much I engage with a thread usually correlates with how bored I am lol. Or like now when I’m meant to be painting my skirting boards but I can’t be arsed.

Yup! 😅

I live a socially isolated life and I know how easy it is to get too sucked into the MN world.

I think this is a very valid point for a lot of people.

I post here as a distraction from the shit going on in my actual life but I'll often go away and completely forget about threads. I don't spend time worrying about people or their circumstances. If I read something and think I can help then I will. But, once I've shut down the app, it's gone for me.

But I do think there are a lot of people who are socially isolated (for various reasons) and I think it is easier for those people to become overinvested and also to take it personally when they are not responded to, engaged with or when a poster doesn't move on the action in a time frame they would like.

For some people, this is where they get their dopamine hits and are they become impatient for the next one.

How much I engage with a thread usually correlates with how bored I am lol. Or like now when I’m meant to be painting my skirting boards but I can’t be arsed.

What I’ve noticed recently though appears to be an increasing number of threads where the OP posts and then just never returns. I don’t get the point of that. Fair enough if it’s something like “currently on my way to A&E ….” or “my house is on fire…..”. and/or the OP updates a while later.

But oftentimes it’s something that lends itself to a bit of debate/conversation and I do get a bit annoyed when the OP doesn’t even acknowledge the replies. Inwardly annoyed though - I’d never harass someone to respond or demand an update.

Agree with this. Sometimes a quick reference to an OPs previous threads can give a bit more context (and sometimes point out blatant discrepancies)

If it is done in the right way, then I don’t see an issue

A lot of posts on MN make more sense when you remember that there are other places on the internet where people analyse MN threads, mock posters and egg each other on to post things that are goady or intended to catch someone out. They're like a sort of shadow mumsnet. When someone on here is being a dog with a bone, I always suspect this.

I don't like this either, BUT there's been many times I've been grateful that someone else has searched an OP to show they're either telling blatant lies, or they're the type who never return to a thread.

Or they've deliberately missed out a huge backstory to manipulate answers.

But doing it to attack is not on.

Yes definitely.

I agree I have been on the receiving end of this, many times. Sometimes life is more complicated than just do.. posters get angry if you don't take their advice. And often the op is responding to the posters who seem to understand the situation better or give advice that works for op. Sometimes op hust want space to talk not aways to fix.

Anyone who's invested in something enough to start or join 26 threads is someone I'm not going to engage with.

Regarding the original question, I suppose in days gone by they'd have sat observing their neighbours behind net curtains. Now they don't have much going on and get over invested to the point of interrogating other people and demanding updates as if it was their right to be informed . Or they just spew random thoughts and seek attention by starting threads about whatever fatuous stuff pops into their heads. Without social media they'd have nothing to do as they treat people like their bespoke entertainment platform.

There’s definitely posters with an agenda who love the sound of their own voice and completely derail threads to make it all about them.

A recent example a thread was deleted due to one poster deciding they were right, everyone else was wrong and reporting anyone who argued back.

It’s usually something like MIL is being a problem and the obvious question is “why hasn’t your husband (her son) talked to her about it” or an issue at work and they won’t answer questions about taking it to HR. Things along those lines.

Often if they do end up responding, the answer is something like “husband refused to talk about it” and they just don’t want to enforce boundaries or stand up for themselves.

I’ve noticed threads where one poster will have a whole succession of posts deleted, and think to myself ‘why don’t they take the hint?
I also dislike threads where 2 posters will have long drawn out arguments between themselves, often barely relevant to the original post.

There are a few ‘hot button’ subjects that I feel very strongly about and am knowledgeable about and tend to get very involved in. Eg ADHD, benefits, vaccines, immigration, climate changes There is an awful lot of urban myths propagated on here that are actually the opposite of the truth. Eg1 someone always comes along and says ADHD is over diagnosed but people who work on the field say the opposite. Eg2 there’s invariably a poster who says people on benefits have a higher income than those working full time on minimum wage. That is not usually the case when we are talking about healthy non-disabled childless adults. The picture is different for people who are very disabled, especially if they are too ill to work.

I thought the same. Hopefully that poster was able to channel her energy elsewhere, and help other people that she knew in rl. I think she meant well, tbh.

I learnt not to post anything overly personal a long time ago and never in AIBU. I last created a thread on here a few years ago and was told I probably had a mental illness and needed urgent help. It was a situation where when I actually spoke to people IRL about it, they agreed I was in the right and they would feel bad too. There’s a real sense of pack mentality too so if a poster reads other posters jumping on the OP, they feel they can and almost should too.

On the flip side, I’ve had enormous support with other things before over in Chat. AIBU is just a bit toxic.

Yes I have noticed this. I am on a thread now where someone keeps coming back obsessively to defend one particular specific point of view and I find it bizarre and quite emotionally unhealthy. At first I thought it was just me they were arguing with but nope, they have been arguing with many people on the thread over one particular specific point like its their job.

I feel really sad for people like that, they must not have much in their lives.

Genuinely can't remember the poster's name as I was pretty new back then.

Sad widow?

I came on here after noticing an adjacent post titled thread 26 of the salt path and assumed it was about that. Seriously I read the book and assumed it was fiction and I’m relatively interested but 26 threads 😂

Yeah, must've been over 14 years ago now but I've never forgotten it! 😁

Seriously?! 😦 😂

Yanbu. People will ask a simple question, and then you have commentors wanting to know their entire life story or making things up and telling op it will happen to them.

My LL recarpeted my house and I posted a simple Q about it and I was getting told by people I will get a section 21 all over a bit of new carpet when the post wasn’t even about that kind of thing & without knowing the full story. Quite simply some people on here are BONKERS.

I am reminded of a poster years ago.

She got so overinvested in threads, she bought herself a pay-as-you-go phone and encouraged others to ring her, to discuss their problems! 👀

Hardcore overinvestment!