AIBU to have got so angry

I've been there, believe me. But the mess is inevitable so it is worth trying to figure out a way to deal with it, or to let it go somehow. I know that seems impossible when you're totally in the thick of it but it is worth it, because feeling that rage is so awful, especially when you think you've scared your child.

The mess sends people over the edge because they are TIRED of cleaning up, putting away, making right. It is time consuming and boring and it eats away at your free time...that which might be spent finding a way not to 'let' these things escalate.
The issue is, it never fucking ends.
Surprised to have to explain this to anyone.

I think every parent has moments like these. I know I do and I always feel awful afterwards. My sons are 5 & 8 and sometimes it feels relentless and it gets hard to keep it all reined in. So all you can do is regulate yourself, then apologise for shouting and losing your temper and then I've found as they've gotten older it's helpful to explain how I got to that point I.e. a cup spilling over/ working every day and then having to clear up/cook, have them nag me or whinge all afternoon. Like I'll always own up to the fact that shouting isnt ever acceptable but that sometimes, mum cant completely control it but thats why I know to apologise and try to do better next time. My parents always shouted and never apologised so I feel like as long as I'm doing that, I'm doing a better job and that's all we can aim to do!
No one gets it right all of the time but the best thing we can do is model how to repair.

I don't think you did anything wrong - you walked away. The fact that he came in and saw you stomping isn't really a big deal tbh. It would have been much worse if you'd stayed by the gate and taken out your anger on him.

That said, whatever you're doing at the moment isn't working for you so you need to take a bit of time and find a way not to let these things escalate so much. The mess is annoying but why is it sending you over the edge?

Everyone has moments like this, even the haughty mums on here who post as though they've never done such a thing in their life.
You're normal.

Op you are human, tiredness, relentless etc , don’t be hard on yourself, sounds like you needed a cuppa and break for ten minutes that’s all. Every parent has been there ( even the ones who say they wouldn’t react in the moment)

I don't think it's great that you are swearing and stomping in front of the toddler. It's just a bit of mess - get them to tidy up once older sister is home.