AIBU for sending my mum home early?

A month?? Jeez, you've got more patience than me. My mum came to stay for a week after my eldest was born and that was enough for me.

You need to have a frank discussion with your mum and tell her, in no uncertain terms, that her drunken outburst the other night was completely unacceptable and if she does it again, or continues to undermine your authority with your dc, then she will have to spend the remainder of her visit at a hotel.

I would also stress to her that unless she gets help for her mental health issues she won't be welcome at your house anymore.

Get her out your house into a cheap hotel and also please go and see a decent Endrochronologist as the thyroid issue will be why you’re not sleeping properly and I’d also suspect an adrenal issue causing low cortisol is running alongside it as you usually have more than one issue when you have thyroid ones and adrenal
system issues like Addisons is very common and often insomnia is the first major red flag for it. Your body is keeping itself alive keeping it awake because when yoU are sleeping and have above that’s not managed then your blood pressure heart rate etc massively drops to dangerous levels. Go see an endocrinologist privately urgently - London clinic has some fab ones

Another point which I appreciate might be challenging because it sounds liek she doesn't lilve close by, but limiting the length of her visits might be your best option. We used to have MIL turning up for 5-6 weeks at a time and when she could split her time between us and SIL it was fine, but when it was all with us, I honestly came close to murder a few times.

Ditto my own parents but they're very independent and used to live around here so when they visit they split their time between me and my sister, but also, they have all kinds of things going on - visiting other family, trips into London for sightseeing, shopping etc. So seeing htem is lovely, but less intense!

Re undermining you - firm, no-nonsense, "Mum, your way is not my way, please back off."

Re letting your Ds have more sweets etc etc, "haha, yes DS ,that's a grany's job - to let you have more treats and sometimes do more fun stuff. She can do that because she's only here a little bit of the time. My job is to look after you every day and keep you healthy and safe."

Re the shouting - you tell her, away from the children that that sort of behaviour is completely unacceptable and she needs to apologise and guarantee it won't happen again. If she won't/can't, she must leave now. If a changed flight is too difficult or expensive, book her into the cheapest travel lodge/premier inn type hotel you can find. Preferably far enough away she can't just come over.

Well she can stay in a hotel until then.

This. You need to let your mom know this behaviour won’t be tolerated and if she wants to have a relationship with you and your kids then she needs to behave appropriately.

I'd wait until Weds OP. I was going to say that grandparents notoriously have different attitudes to child rearing and they're almost always more ready to spoil their grandkids. It's an age old "conflict". That was until you said she started drinking heavily and swearing at you. No, that's bang out of order and a month is too long anyway!

Tell her that she won't be welcome back if she ever treats you this way again, not just the shouting after drinking, but everything. You're not her punchbag. If she's got issues with you, she can tell you when she's sober, not when she's drunk.

No, that poster posted her own comment twice by mistake so she deleted one of them.

Duplicate post.

Leave the tickets where they are, no point in wasting your money. It’s just 3 days, you can do this.

i know you are struggling with thyroid and energy levels etc, but could you arrange to go out? Leave her at home while you have time out etc?.

chalk this up to experience, and next time it’s a week TOPS. Tell her why too! “Mum, visits limited to MAX 1 week because she undermines your parenting and the whole experience is stressful if too long and you’ll end up having a massive falling out, which you’re not prepared to allow to happen”

I agree, if you can tolerate until Wednesday. But don’t let her extend it!

And keep an eye on her interaction with your son, and don’t let them have a private thing (texting, emailing etc) going on in the future.

Wait till Wednesday, don't waste your money on waiting 3 days.. if it was May then yes but just hold on till next week.

When is her return booked for then?

A month! Book that ticket now and never invite her again. Your DS will soon forget her and your new born will be spared the drama forever.

Book the ticket OP and think long and hard about her ever staying again.
Your children absolutely do not need this in their lives.
She is confusing your child by her behaviour which is not good for him.
I would have asked her to leave the morning after the drinking.
Your boundaries are NOT good.
Be careful.
This is not normal behaviour and you do not have to tolerate it.
Put your children first and tell her its time to leave.

Bloody hell! Yeah, time to go home, Mama!

A MONTH?

And she’s undermining you, shouting, drinking, goodness me.

Send her home asap and be really careful how much interaction she has with your son as one day you won’t be able to control it, she’ll be texting him and you won’t know about what she’s saying to him.