AIBU for sending my mum home early?

No. She sounds like a nightmare. Send her home. You will manage. X

I honestly don't know why you're spending time asking the question when that time could be spent booking her ticket and packing her bags.

Seriously, her behaviour is outrageous. Her issues are her issues, as sad as they may be to witness. You are exhausted with a newborn and older son. Any mother should recognise and respect that and not come shouting into your room in the middle of the night. She is failing at seeing your side of anything, it seems.

I'd call her a cab and leave her to it- I also would not invite her again, until she apologises.

Anyone would shout at her behaviour.

Go no contact. She is a bitter twisted old bint.

Narcissists are jekyll and Hyde. If they were horrible all the time then they’d have no opportunity to manipulate people would they?!!

Did she go OP?

I'd be telling her to pack and delivering her to the nearest Premier Inn frankly.

Honestly OP, you need to start parenting.
There are often hard choices to make when we choose to have children.
This is not acceptable behaviour around your children.
It really is that simple.
My father was very unpredictable growing up, moody, selfish, clearly narcissistic, when I learnt what narcissism involves.
It leaves such a mark.

He never got the opportunity to meet my children, I simply wouldn't entertain it.
He had messed up my childhood with his awful behaviour, and my precious children were not going to be exposed to either him or my mother, who excused and enabled him.

Parenting can involve tough decisions at times, where you put their wellbeing above all others.

Drinking heavily, waking you up during the night and swearing ... a complete NC would be right here! Get her out of your home, away from your children and stop worrying about it being 'just how she is'. Her behaviour is abhorrent and if she says, like mine did, it is just how she is, it is not acceptable. As humans we are responsible, accountable and quite able to look at our own behaviours, to work out why we are the way we are and work on that. A five/six worded sentence doesn't cut it to being understood

I would tell her that if she so much looks sideways at a drop of alcohol before Wednesday then she’ll be out of your house so fast her feet won’t touch the ground, and you don’t care if it’s 3am and she’s got £3 in her purse. She’ll be on her own because you won’t risk your DC seeing her drunk and shouting the odds at everyone she has the hump with.

I think you seriously need to consider reducing the contact you have with her. She doesn’t sound like a very good mum and she sounds an even worse grandmother. That’s something you might want to ask her when she starts giving you unsolicited parenting advice; why would you take advice on anything, least of all parenting, from someone who has made such a monumental fuck up of her own life and her relationships with her children? She may well have had some difficult things happen to her, but a lot of her current circumstances are of her own making.

Your mental and physical health is the most important because you are also taking care of small children. Unfortunately it sounds like your mum’s presence is doing more harm than good at the moment. And you need as much equilibrium as you can get with kids and a little baby. Also, a month is a crazy long visit so don’t feel bad. But most importantly your mum needs to respect your rules and boundaries and she is out of line behaving this way to you. Good luck OP x

Three months is too long for anyone’s mum
to stay. Send her home before the relationship is damaged irreparably

I saw this as a person who has a mother similar to yours who I struggled to set boundaries with...She never got better, btw. She only got worse.

You are making way too many excuses for her absolutely terrible behavior. This is not a one or two time thing. This is who she is and how she continues to be, despite you having told her how you feel.

All this talk about wanting her to spend time with your 6yo whilst she is actively breaking your parenting rules with him and pinning him against you makes no sense. You need to take a big step back and think about the messaging that she is sending your son and the fact that, as she insists on continuing to do it, it will ultimately damage your relationship with him if you allow it to continue.

Please stop feeling bad for your mother. Would you treat your adult children this way? If she can't take accountability, that is on her. You are not responsible for another adult's feelings and you have the right to mutual respect in your own home and especially in front of impressionable children.

I wouldn't invite her to stay in your home after this because it absolutely will not improve. Limit the time and pay for a hotel so that if she starts ANY of this, you can simple walk out the door or send her back to the hotel.

Your choice, talk to her and see if you can reach an agreement or say it's too much and ask her to leave, it seems it's not black and white.

Wow if she's drinking like that I wouldn't want her round my kids , send her back

She sounds like an absolute nightmare
What an interfering, controlling know it all monster she is

Show her the door and in future don't contact her. By the way. Where is your husband in all of this.?