Wanting to have a ffm threesome with my boyfriend but worried I'll get jealous

You and your ‘hubby’ need to find a nice long beach to walk along. Maybe some rock pools to explore. Leave the threesomes to the creeps. Maybe…

Instead of looking into how to involve a 3rd party into your bedroom, perhaps dig deeper why you feel the need, why he isn’t enough for you, or you for him and why you deserve better.

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Agreed. He will be fine. There will no jealousy from him. Or the other (single) woman. The OP is the only one who is going to get hurt here, and jealous, and upset.

Hi OP, I did this with my husband as it was something we both wanted to experience. We discussed it a lot beforehand and agreed rules/boundaries. Id never been with a woman and always wanted to try.

We did pay a professional for it and it was totally worth it, she was so lovely and very respectful of us both. We also wanted someone with experience to make it less awkward. She also made it very clear that if either one of us wanted to stop we would immediately.
Funnily enough I was fully expecting to be a bit jealous but I genuinely wasn't at all - to be honest I think we got lucky with the woman we were with - I was more surprised that I WASNT jealous! It was a great experience for us both and neither of us regret it.

I know someone who did this and it caused problems in the relationship. They are still together, minus the third person but it was a real spanner in the works for a while.

Personally I find the whole idea completely cringey and I can't imagine anything more awkward or uncomfortable. I just don't understand the desire to do it at all.

I think that maybe it is the type of thing that is maybe best to keep as a fun fantasy rather than ruin it (and possibly your relationship) trying to act it out.

I know someone who’s done this, they’re now divorced. He wanted to meet the other woman for one to one sex and his wife got wind of it, 🥴

I've had a fair few threesomes, foursomes and moresomes and I don't get jealous. I am not sure why, but it's clearly something that is in some peoples make up to enjoy that kind of thing. My advice is to have clear boundaries upfront and an exit plan that you both agree to stick to no questions asked. I also suggest you try a swingers club before a planned meet with someone off an app, much less pressure

Pretty sure it would be consensual by all parties. Plenty of people enjoy this without any coercion.

Tbh I’d just dump him and live on my own. I have lived on my own for at least 25 years though. I definitely don’t like sound of a throuple though! I think maybe you should give it a miss.

Well can you imagine him having sex with another woman in front of you… picture it… now how does it make you feel?

Why exactly are you asking @TinkyWinkyWonky because despite all the naysayers and warnings about how it can (and very likely will) wreck your relationship, you seem fairly intent on doing it. And now you say you're on a swinging site, with a woman already in mind!

I said don't do it, as have many others, but I fear you will still do it. And I believe you will get jealous when your DH keeps talking about the woman who joined you in your fantasy.

Don't say you weren't warned.

I think women are far more likely to be damaged or jealous in this arrangement OP. This is sort of borne out by your own hesitation. The bloke is highly unlikely to be jealous of your sexual antics with another woman, he'll just enjoy the side show.

Why don’t you try going to a swinging club with your partner? You don’t actually have to involve anyone else, and you might get an idea of your level of comfortability.

If you think this relationship could be long lasting, I’d start with dipping your toe in rather than hopping straight into bed with another person immediately.

If you can imagine feeling jealous, you are probably going to feel jealous.

You wouldn’t need to post here for advice on whether this is a good idea or not if you were confident you definitely wanted to do it.

All this aside, I'd be very surprised if the venn diagram of, women who'd want to participate in your threesome (a very small pool to begin with) and, women you'd want to participate in your threesome, would have much in the way of overlap.

In my book, 3somes are only for single people/fwb i just don't think they ever work in relationships

I think you should think very deeply about all the things that could go wrong, and all the different ways you might feel jealous and how they’d affect you.

What if you got the impression he was more turned on by the OW than he usually seems to be with you? Would that upset you, or make you feel insecure?
What if you felt he seemed less enthusiastic when you returned to one-on-one sex afterwards - what thoughts would go through your head?
Would you worry about him comparing you to her?
If she made him laugh, or he mentioned her afterwards, how would you feel?

If you already know you’re likely to be jealous, this isn’t going to end well. I’d keep it as a fantasy if you want to keep your relationship.

Aside from the valid issues other posters have raised, do you realise that bisexual women aren't generally sitting around waiting to be utilised as an extra to spice up a couples sex life?
It's such a stereotype in certain communities that straight couples look for this and think themselves oh so open minded, but not considering that there's very little incentive for the third party, so much so that what they're looking for is generally referred to as a unicorn!

Edit: cross posted!

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Goodluck finding a random bisexual woman who would love to have a one off threesome with you and your OH OP. They're not called a unicorn for nothing.

It really won’t be as exciting as you think.
We toyed with the idea and I said I wasn‘t willing to pay for someone nor use someone as a sex toy and not seen them again so we decided against it (male or female) Moreover I wasn’t willing to risk my relationship for a shag. If it can go wrong, is it worth it?

Anecdote time, my friends did this, they’d been together for nearly twenty years. Divorced a year later. Things just went off the rails. It was opening a box they couldn’t then close. I’d be very wary. And honestly you’re making women sound like things. Not nice.