AIBU to expect DH to do screen-free mornings with toddler?

You need to relax on it. It’s lovely to do screen free educational stuff all the time, but with a newborn and heavily pregnant that’s just not going to happen. Get used to it now before baby comes. It’s whatever works, anything goes for survival in those early days. Once you have two, it’s a complete change and shock to the system. You won’t be able to keep doing all this for the older one all the time then, that’s just reality.

Just to add, this should be a very flimsy small slide-bolt with short screws, so that if another adult needed to enter the room in an emergency they could just shoulder-barge the door to open it.

Apologies. I did.

You took me back to one of the NCT group I was part of who put such a lock on the outside of their toddler’s bedroom door to stop them from disturbing them.

I think you misread me. I am talking about an adult being in the room WITH the toddler, with the lock on the inside to stop them getting out into the rest of the house where they will be alone and unsafe.

Sounds like you’re trying to control too much and this is not going to lead to a happy and peaceful home.

My tip for changing this is to stop trying to force people into your routine. You need sleep - that’s fine, but he doesn’t have to do things the way you do them.

What harm has been shown out of interest? My first two were 7 and 6 when the third was born, he was watching tv from the moment he came into the world he’s now 19 at uni perfectly lovely, no issues with education, mental health, development, socialist or sport. He was also playing the Xbox at 2 years old he just picked up the controllers one day.

This.

In my day, Pingu and Thomas the tank engine videos were helpful for later in the day because I knew what was on them and there was no risk of anything unsuitable being seen.

Why are you getting her up at 5am just because she’s awake?

What do you think screens do then?

The parent is in the room with them the whole time. They are not left alone

Why not go the whole hog and for metal bars?

I assume their room is totally childproof and they can't open the door (fit a small slide bolt way up high if necessary).

This is horrific advice. Nobody should be locking a child, never mind a toddler, in a room.

Your first issue is letting your toddler get up at 5am. you put her back to bed and tell her it’s not time to get up.

But seriously pick your battles! it’s not like he is not doing anything. If he is actively parenting your child to allow you time to do something else then it should not matter if it’s screen time or toys.

oh my goodness good luck when baby number two comes along! You really need to chill out. It there was no way she would go back to sleep at 5am then watching a little bit of TV is absolutely fine. Then when iysa

Are you totally against screen time for yourself too or just your child? I understand screen free households as its in keeping with the set up of the home, but parents who are anti screen time but have their heads buried in their phones confuse me.. Screens are part of 2026, they are literally everywhere.

No i don't put my child in front of the TV 24 hours a day, but yes she does watch peppa/bluey/cbeebies. Its normal and means I can go for a wee without an audience

I was going to say this too. My friend’s little girl is like this, absolutely incapable of amusing herself, when I go round we have to get involved in whatever make believe game she’s got going on as she can’t play solo or without being entertained by adults, she’s used to getting up at 5am and being instantly catered to and entertained all morning. It would drive me batty. My 3yo will listen to her Toniebox and play in her room until the sun is up on her clock as she knows at 5am she’s not getting anything out of us!

YABU; he is equally entitled to decide how to parent his child as you are.

(I explained everything we'd done thus far so he could follow my lead), There is no way my DH who is an excellent father would have taken that from me when DC was small. You're too controlling.

This! If my child woke this early which he did ALL the time… it was tv whilst I dozed on the sofa. I am not doing sticker books at 5am!!

I do agree that 5am is not for stimulating activities like singing and stories. This is the definition of making a rod for your own back.

I'm not a fan of screens for young children but an hour between 5 and 7 is definitely the time to do it.

I think you need to keep it really low key and boring at 5 and 6. Or they'll continue to be early risers.

Ok you need to relax about screens for a start!
Your main problem is a DH who doesn't believe it is exhausting being heavily pregnant! This surely hasnt came out of the blue?

I really do see where you’re coming from OP and I sympathise, in a perfect world I would parent similarly but I just don’t have the energy or discipline. My 3 year old probably watches 2-3 hours of TV on days when we’re at home and I feel this is way too much, but on the other hand he is not behind, will also spend hours running around at the park or in the garden, etc.. Our rule is that we don’t encourage TV watching, he only watches it when he asks, I have had to have a word with my partner about not initiating TV watching on days when our child is enjoying more play.

I agree with other posters 5am is too early. We have a clock that changes colour when it’s an appropriate time to get up. If he’s up before then I just lye in his bed with him, even if neither of us get back to sleep it’s far more relaxing than playing and sticker books! Some days I nod off and I don’t think he does, as he informs me the minute the clock changes colour! We’ve done this since he was a baby (and I mean newborn) and he’s never argued it or pushed to get up because it’s just so ingrained.

It’s ridiculous that your partner doesn’t believe that pregnancy is tiring, does he generally think the majority of women are liars?!? But I think you’re possibly expecting too much from him on days when he’s worked late, (depending on what late means to you, shift work finishing at 10 or 11 is a bit different to staying late in the office until 7).

I might be wrong, but I really think a lot of the negativity about screens refers to phones and tablets. A kid scrolling through YouTube or playing games designed to be addictive is so different to a bit of Sesame Street or similar. I’m very lax on tv, but my child will not use a phone or tablet.

There's two seperate issues here. Your husband not believing how tired you are is unbelievable and especially asking for scientific claims. He should be supporting you not questioning you, especially so later on in your pregnancy!

The second issue is about the 5am waking and constant educational activities. Neither of mine have been early wakers, but 5am is always treated as the middle of the night. What your child and you certainly don't need is educational activities from 5am. It sounds completely exhausting for you and her and a one way ticket to burnout.

Of course reading, singing and playing are important and should be encouraged. But it doesn't need to be ALL the time or a constant stream of activities. I am not a fan if ipads or phones but some TV for a bit while you get on with things I don't see any problem with.

Your toddler is a toddler. She's not at school. Not every single minute of the day needs to be filled with educational activities or you entertaining her. And with a baby soon, you'll certainly not be able to do that. It all sounds very inflexible and rigid by telling your partner what you're doing so he can follow your lead like it's some sort of school schedule. Some of the best things for a child is to learn to play on their own, to use their imagination and also just to follow adults about their daily routine too.

Children don't need perfect, performance parenting with songs at 5am. There's good evidence now that "good enough" parenting is better for them. It leads to less burnout to you and allows them to build independence coping skills. They benefit more from being nurtued and connection rather than being constantly over stimulated.

This. A bit of tv in the morning is fine.

Having a second child with a man who doesn't believe being pregnant can make you tired without a published scientific paper is not fine. What an absolute pig

I have a friend who was, like you, letting her child get up at ungodly hours and then providing her with continuous “fun and educational” activities from dawn until dusk. She sneered at me for letting my child watch cbeebies - her child was screen free at all times.

Her child is eight now and is a nightmare, incapable of playing alone and needing constant adult input at all times, interrupting conversations and demanding attention.

Over-parenting can be as bad as under-parenting.

What? There are loads and loads of posters who say they use screens wirh their children. You’d never, ever get a post from a mum asking if it’s ok to let their kids watch telly in the morning with everyone saying no.