Not even sure what the actual question is here. It just feels like I’m in the wrong (as usual).
Told mum at Christmas I am getting married and we’re looking at dates in the Easter holidays. Just a small registry office thingy. She said her and a friend were looking at holidays around that time. Ok, fair enough. Once booked , I told her the date, she said her friend had booked the holiday on that date without telling her and had already paid the deposit. I said not to worry, enjoy herself, it’s not a big thing anyway etc. If I’m entirely honest, I didn’t really want her there anyway, so I suppose that’s why I’m feeling guilty anyway.
A couple of days ago she made a big deal about her not being there , and said I can’t post pictures of it on SM. Felt really bad for her , so I told her of course she’s invited , so don’t think she wasn’t, it’s just the dates clashed due to no one’s fault and I wanted her to enjoy her holiday and not feel any pressure and reiterated that if she chose the holiday that was fine with me etc. Turns out that what she’s actually cross about is what other people (her family) will say. Which pissed me off as it has always been about image and what other people say. Oh they’ll say this, they’ll ask that, I’m the one that has to talk to them and see them.
I’m annoyed because she’s not actually upset about missing it(or she might be, but that’s not the main reason) but aboutthe reaction of other people that she is, and that now she expects me to manage that. It’s why I didn’t want her there to begin with. Because she’d make it all about her, and how things should be , and how things look and what will people say. I still feel guilty/bad for her though. I also have a DD and can’t imagine not being there on her wedding day, but we also have a very different relationship and I’m a very different kind of mother , so I might just be projecting .
Like I said, don’t even know what I’m asking, just having a massive rant.