Couple brags

A) my partner is my rock, I would not have managed to go through what I did without him I would of ended up sectioned and came very close to being sectioned.
B) Not my problem, I don’t care sorry but if your miserable that’s nobody else’s problem but your own.

My friend claims her husband is her 'rock'.
He has had 4 affairs. Not everything is always as it seems. Words are just words.

I have one like this too and have started to distance myself. Me and others in relationships have ‘settled’ and aren’t strong, independent women like her. Bore off!

And I don’t sit any talk about DH or DS to her as she told me she finds them boring. Fair enough but maybe I should be telling her that listening about her job isn’t the most scintillating conversation. I have plenty of other single friends, who are more normal.

YABU OP - don’t end up like my friend. Live your life and be happy, and stop comparing it to the lives of others.

What a weird thing to say. There are plenty of people in bad relationships who aren’t supported by their partner - how we behave is always a choice.

Of course they have the option. Nobody’s forcing them to be a decent partner. A relationship, and the way someone behaves in one, is a choice.

I’ve never described my OH as ‘my rock’ but he’s the most steady, supportive, reliable and anchoring person in my life. So:

a) You don’t have a fucking clue what other people would or wouldn’t get through, and in what circumstances. They know themselves better than you do.

b) I don’t really give a shit. I don’t have much time for people who are so bitter that they can’t bear to see other people happy. I enjoyed being single but even if I hadn’t enjoyed it, I wouldn’t have expected other people not talk about their relationships, because I’m not the centre of the universe.

If everyone had to avoid expressing appreciation, joy or pride in a situation for fear of upsetting someone not in that situation, the world would be a joyless place.

Maybe they can't get through without a man? It's astounding how many people can't cope without a man on here. For those of us who can cope, on the surface the people who can't look weak and pathetic. But putting my empathy and emotional intelligence hat on, some people just aren't as strong as others. That's part of life, we are all different.

Single life can be tough when there is no one else to share the load of life with but also relationships take hard work.

Why don't they have the option?

No-one's forcing them to fully support the person they love?

I’m in my fifties and I can assure you I have never thought ‘women needed men’. My life is full of stuff I don’t ‘need’, strictly speaking, but which enrich it hugely, anyway. DH is one of them.

I agree OP.
It also doesn’t take into account that the OH being the ‘rock’, ,doesn’t really have much option???!

Many, many people have terrible partners who either are the creator of the hard times, or go out of their way to make the hard times even worse for their partner by being selfish pricks.
Maybe they look at your independence and lack of being married to a twat and also feel jealous?

Also I had a neighbour come round in floods of tears about her horrible controlling husband & how terrible she felt - next day he was her amazing rock on Facebook.

It's all meaningless rubbish. If a relationship is solid you don't need to convince anyone else.

It’s not my fault that other people don’t have a partner. I’ll refer to DH however I want and I frankly don’t care if it makes other people feel bad. They weren’t bothered about me when I was single 🤷‍♀️

But they may not have got through something without them, none of us know really.

I have various friends that are single, none by choice. One is bitter as anything, I am very careful talking about anything my DH and I do. She says so often well well it’s all right for you as you have Mr ViciousCurrentBun. The others are nothing like this. Be careful as it can drive people away, if it wnast such a long friendship I wouldn’t bother with her if honest.

I guess being in our early 30s, our generation doesn’t really feel that women need men.

I dont see it as "needing" a man. Your emotional rock could be literally anyone - it could be a friend, a parent, a sibling, a partner, even a pet etc. Noone said it has to be a male partner but sometimes, it will be and thats perfectly ok. Everyone needs support at certain times in their life, it doesn't make them weak or feeble, it makes them human.

I see lots of posts on social media about how much people love their friends, their pets, their parents, their siblings etc but OP isnt getting irritated by those is she? -she's focusing only on the people posting about their romantic partners so its confirmation bias. I bet if she looked for posts where people were celebrating their friends and family she would find those too.

I get this. I do sometimes grit my teeth when people tell me about how their DH does such and such while they do something else - usually when I've come in from some extensive activity and I'm dying to sit down and have a cup of tea but I have to walk the dog and tidy the house. I WISH there was someone else to do the little jobs so I didn't have to!

But then I remember how much of a pain my last relationship was and how much I had to put up with. Plus I'm used to doing it all myself now.

I'm in my 60s and I don't think women need men, not does anyone of my age I know. Plenty of needy 30somethings tho
It's not some great wisdom only one generation has.

Me and DH met when we were very young and there were some tough times. I probably would still be alive without him but I definitely wouldn’t have what I have now and I’d have almost definitely done a stint in jail. I have also helped him with a lot and he probably wouldn’t be where he is without my support, but I know I personally would have been much worse off.

I wouldn’t call him my rock unless I was taking the piss, because I do think it’s a bit cringe. I also probably wouldn’t discuss how much I appreciate what he’s done for me with anyone who doesn’t already know because it’s outing, but I do tell him how grateful I am often. I kind of understand what you mean in terms of it can get a bit annoying when people bang on about it randomly, but the whole “he’s my rock” stuff tends to be relegated to wedding speeches, captions of anniversary/Valentine’s Day posts. I’ve rarely experienced it in the wild.

Yabu

It’s no different from when people say their lives would be empty and meaningless without their children. It can make those who are childless not by choice feel like shit. But they’re not speaking an objective, universal truth. Life is what you make it.

My DH is indeed my rock. And my best friend and safe haven. But I could manage without him. I’d have to.

You aren’t wrong about it being miserable post!

A) I might not have, actually, but if I had then I would be much more damaged than I am.

B) Well I don't tend to say it to single people for that reason (don't really say it to anyone except him and very close family and friends) but in this case, you did ask.

The more the partner is bigged up the less inclined I am to believe the hype. Happy couples just quietly live their lives. They don’t have to try to convince others. Or themselves

C) 'It boils my piss' is a horrible phrase ✔️