Couple brags

I'm so sorry about your mum, losing your mum is hard and no wonder you're feeling alone. Nothing will make it better but wanted to offer a hug xx

So are people not supposed to talk about any positive aspect of their lives for fear of offending or upsetting others? Boasting is one thing, but normal conversation about a supportive partner? You are being too sensitive.

Surely this post has to be rage bait.

You clearly don't know the difference having a support by your side can make, especially when experiencing some horrendous things in life. I'm quite sure there are plenty people out there who literally couldn't have got through 'XY and Z' without their partner. Me and DH have been through some tough times together but last year I experienced something extremely traumatic and without my partner I wouldn't be here today. Did you think how YOU would make other people feel when you posted that? Minimising people's experiences of situations THEY have been through, not you?

To be honest you sound like you are full of jealously because other people clearly have what you must so desperately want.

Since when did it become people's responsibility to not share their experience or praise their partner for fear of what a single person might feel..... Ridiculous!!!

I don’t have a problem with them thanking their partner etc - I usually think ‘fair play, you do you’. I can’t relate to the OP’s issue at all because she admits she resents couples as she isn’t happy being single

I was married to a man who went out of his way to make me miserable. I never begrudged anyone who had found their rock. Why would you? It’s a really odd attitude.

I completely respect that, and that is of course, entirely your choice to make. If people are happy being single then more power to them. People should do what makes them happy in life.

However, that still doesnt mean that people shouldnt or cant publicly thank their partners for supporting them in life. It doesn't make those people wrong for choosing differently to you.

Also, the OP clearly doesnt feel the same way you do, as she is saying it annoys her because she wants a partner and feels jealous of such people.

I get that some risks can’t be avoided and back in the day I did some very risky things.

But I wouldn’t take a risk unless the reward was worth it. And for me, making myself vulnerable like that wouldn’t be worth the potential ‘reward’.

Same with having children!

Life is a risk. Walking out of your door every morning is a risk. Having a child is a risk, owning a car or house or having a job is a risk.

Absolutely nothing we do in life is guaranteed to work out and thats why we have to use our common sense and weigh up risks constantly in life.

I have had relationships that have ended very badly in the past and at the time it was very upsetting but I survived and I've also spent years happily single. Now I am married I am also very happy and my husband is my best friend.

I am not about to allow fear of what might happen prevent me from living my life because if I did that, I would never have started my business or had my children or in fact, done anything of note at all.

Actually my worst fear is to look back at life on my deathbed and think "I wish I hadn't been too scared to do XYZ". The regret of not doing something is far worse to me than doing it.

What happens when those ‘rocks’ turn out not to be though?

I am AuDHD so perhaps that affects my thinking as relying on someone is a terrifying idea!

I know it works out most of the time but you are in such a vulnerable position. Just because someone says they love you, you don’t know that for sure. I kind of admire those that can make that leap of faith in the same way as I admire those that go skydiving - fair play but I wouldn’t want to 😀

I may be getting over serious illness but my husband is definitely a rock. Even if only an emotional one. He takes all my crap because they've been keeping me in. He's even stayed when they've take blood, his worst nightmare , because I needed the mental support.

Im not going to be rude OP but you may just be lucky you've not needed anyone

I get you. I feel the same way

and yes I am
jealous.

What an odd post.

The point of having a partner is to have a person to support and celebrate you, to “do life” (sorry for the cringe expression) with. It’s not exactly surprising that someone would describe as their rock - in fact this is how DH described me in his wedding speech.

Shall we all divorce to suit you too ?

Waiting for someone to post yes, #bekind

😂

And folk should lie to suit you? Shall we all divorce to suit you too ?

My husband is 100% my rock and life is immeasurably better because of him, but I would never express this to my single friends. I would only tell them about something he’d done that annoyed me, out of solidarity.
I would only ever say it to someone I was sure was in a similarly happy and secure relationship ie his friends’ wives or one or two of my very close friends who are also happily married.

Is it because you haven't found anyone you can depend on like that? Of course they could get by without a partner, but having a supportive partner does make life easier. Im not in a relationship, but I do have people who support me, family and friends. I would be totally lost without them. We all have an emotional rock if you like. Or is that ok? Your just bothered about the happy couples? Be great full for the people you do have and don't worry about anyone else would be my suggestion.

Just ask if their ‘rock’ has a sibling or friend for you.

Agree. Not interested in other people and braging of any sort gets a "That's nice, did you hear about blah blah?"

Yes how dare people give a compliment to the person they love. You just sound bitter, lots of people go through things alone even if the are in a relationship, but I don't see why it pisses you off that someone has a supportive family.

I wouldnt call that being a "rock" though - thats a codependent relationship.

I think it's really disingenuous to compare the two as if they are the same. My partner is my "rock" because he has supported me emotionally through many difficult times.

I am still a fully independent functioning adult who runs a business that I started from scratch.

Thanking someone for their support does not equal- you are helpless as a newborn chick without them

I have a sister who is incredibly dependent on her husband for everything. She does not manage one single aspect of their lives, he does it all. If he dies before her, or leaves her, she will be shell-shocked.

How to tell you have not been through something really bad

Bull. I was raped at 17, and I have not told a single soul about it. I coped with it at the time on my own and now, almost 30 years later, I still haven’t told anybody. Is that ‘something really bad’ enough for you?

I was physically assaulted by my father, and whilst the wider family knew, I did not receive support from them, I received derision from some and blame from others who felt he was justified.

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship which pushed me to very near the edge. I ended it and walked away without support from anyone.

When I experienced a potentially career-ending situation, I dealt with it on my own.

I’ve had plenty adversity and ‘really bad’ things but have never leaned on anyone to be my rock. That’s just how I’m built, I prefer to retreat into myself and cope on my own. The last thing I want or need at times of immense stress is someone else adding to the situation.

So sorry to hear about your loss it must be extremely difficult to go through on your own and I think that’s what is upsetting you because you are having to cope alone and others have a DH/DW or partner to help and support them and it does make a huge difference having someone by your side so I do understand why people will say things like I couldn’t have got through it without DH/DW or partner. Maybe contact a bereavement counselling service they may have a support group in your local area so you are not alone and you will get to meet people too.

You are being a green eyed monster I'm afraid

Just because you don't have something doesn't mean those who do have it should not he proud of theirs

I don't have a massive house or 100k car .. yet know many people who own both and I don't sulk about it

Also I know for a fact if it wasn't for me my husband wouldn't have got through a very difficult time in his life. I was the only one advocating for him and supporting him, if it wasn't for me he wouldn't have got the medical treatment he needed ... So yes sometimes someone who is a rock is the reason someone is still here

It’s not a Brag op. You only see it as that as you’re jealous as you don’t like being single, I’m sorry you are struggling and about uour mum, but people mentioning important things to them is not always bragging.