All men should be aware of this

So a man cant have long hair, go for a walk or open their back pack? Honestly get a grip OP. He did nothing wrong. You need to get medical support for your anxiety.

It's not obtuse at all though, because if she hadn't turned to follow him, would he have even stopped? Doubtful.

I posit that he stopped in some sort of pretense, purely for the reason that she had turned to follow close behind him (walking 'a few feet behind' by her own admission), but wasn't going past him.. it was very odd behaviour from OP and I'd have been quite unnerved if I was him and would also have thought of a benign way to create an overtake.. which he did.

OP is saying THIS man did something wrong by stopping, and IMO, it was OP that acted strangely and he responded perfectly sensibly in the circumstances.

Yes, that's absolutely right. Full disclosure... I am, in fact, She-Ra the All Powerful Megalomaniac, and I demand that all men behave exactly the way I wish. I oversee the dystopian hell envisioned by posters incapable of engaging with more subtle distinctions, and thank you for your obeisance.

More seriously, thank you for proving my point about the constant reduction of subtle arguments and common sense to cartoonish hyperbole throughout this thread. It's been a remarkable one to read and post on.

I honestly don't know what's going on in this furious resistance to responding to what posters like me are actually saying - it's beyond me. I'd love to get a sociologist's or psychologist's view on it. In the absence of that, I'm off now. Best of luck to the other more moderate and empathetic voices on here.

ETA: I know sarcasm's the lowest form of wit and all that, but really, I tried everything else, so please excuse the indulgence. Equally, I don't mean to be rude, but do feel that these constant suggestions that I and posters like me are somehow stupid, selfish and mildly sociopathic in our apparent demands that men become inanimate puppets(?!) somewhat justifies it. It feels like my actual voice is being silenced and misrepresented just like OP's, and could be quite upsetting if I didn't choose to smile instead.

live in a state that should say

I
It seems that many women o in a state of hyper vigilance concerning the male population. I cannot imagine living like that. On that crazy NAMALT thread one even suggests that she would not share a room with a male colleague even if it was in relation to an important meeting. Madness. And if you dare to contest any of their statements people are called handmaidens , male apologists or dick panderers.

The handmaidening on this post is unbelievable!

won’t anyone think of the poor menz!

exactly, I tell my own sons the same thing.

Exactly this. If he’d been my son I’d have suggested he open his rucksack and put his phone on record as clearly men can’t go about their business now without being accused of being a predator.

So basically if men behave the way you want them to when taking a nice relaxed walk out alone women are safe? Big dangerous don’t you think to dictate what men can and can’t do to portray not being a rare weirdo. It’s up to women to take rssoinsibiiity for their own safety. That is what I’m teaching my daughters to do. Far better than basing safety assumptions on saying what men can and can’t do when minding their own business.

And women should understand that men don't like to be followed. Simples. You see it works both ways.

Oh and can we dictate what women do too?

So what are men allowed to do if they’re not allowed to look in a rucksack?

It’s anything but “simples”🙄🤔

How does this alarm work on anyone neuro divergent, who are likely to deviate from social norms? Or just shy and awkward out in the world. Is it similar to a car or house alarm that can trip for no obvious reason? Can I get a remote somewhere? Perhaps you should publish your research on the matter and get it peer reviewed, it sounds most interesting. Though I am glad we have finally established the man in question could not be 'nice' according to your theory.

Perhaps if you feel anxious so easily in the situation you described, you should take self defence lessons to improve your confidence?

Beautifully put. Exactly.

So many contrary and obtuse responses on here. OP is pointing out that completely benign actions by men in isolated places can be unnerving for a solo woman. Men should be sensitive to this. Simples.

Plus it's a very bizarre response to have that intuition alarm and then head closer to the person whom you believe to be a threat. A bit like hearing a fire alarm go off nearby and running inside the burning building to get closer to the fire.

I'm not sure where you get the impression that posters like the OP (or me?!?) are "living with that level of fear" and hyper-focussed on "every scintilla" (excellent word!) "of a male's demeanour". This shows the same disregard for any subtlety at all that we're seeing elsewhere in this thread.

I'm about as independent as you get - travel alone, have done martial arts (badly: promptly got injured, then went on to fight with that injury - bloody stupid, and gave up soon afterwards!) and, above all, I'm someone who speaks up for myself and others in all manner of contexts when most just put their heads down or walk away.

To get back to this particular case, it really interests me to see descriptions of our shared sensitivity to body language, with a particular focus on possible sexed dynamics, reduced to a patently absurd "living with that level of fear". It's remarkable, tbh, and so clearly inconsistent with what posters like me are saying that I'm increasingly thinking there's a kind of self-protective denial going on here.

Some women are quietly fearful of the kind of truths about women's physical vulnerability that I and other posters are acknowledging. It can be easier, I think, to attack the idea of this than to face up to what it can mean for us. That may not be the case here at all, but I do find these exaggerated over-simplifications rather hard to understand otherwise.

the stopping would have freaked me out as would going into the bag (for something to assault or incapacitate with?!)

But the very overwhelming likelihood is that he wanted to get something boringly normal from his bag: a water bottle, a snack, his phone, his cagoul...

Do you never use a bag to carry ordinary everyday items around with you, or do you see bags only as a means for transporting weapons?

Of course you would naturally need to stop to retrieve something from a backpack - unless you have arms like Mr Tickle and eyes on the end of your fingers.

That’s just utter nonsense. Otherwise, no woman would ever end up with an abuser or be abused by someone they know and are friends with. Which happens.

Complete bullshit. This guy was minding his own business and OP turned round to follow him.

Not what the thread is about. Women can do what they like, what they can’t do is dictate what others minding their own business do.

Women have an inbuilt predator alarm and this man set OP's alarm off.
It doesn't go off for "nice men".
It goes off for the ones that are giving predator vibes.

Every woman should listen to her own body's reaction to a man in any situation.
Women are hard-wired to sense danger when it is near.

Women pick up on behavioral cues, micro-expressions, and non-verbal signals that deviate from social norms.

Not "bizarre" - it's a survival mechanism.

I'd have felt the same as you tbh. Spidey sense for men within physical proximity where there is noone else around and the stopping would have freaked me out as would going into the bag (for something to assault or incapacitate with?!) Growing up with crime dramas which are overwhelming about women being assaulted, kidnapped and killed doesn't help. It's vanishingly unlikely but it happens. So yes I think men should keep their distance and do what they can to make women feel at ease in isolated settings like staying well away from them, being friendly but distant with any greeting.

I haven't said anything about tiny verbal cues and I don't care if you believe me or not, I'm not going to agree that we have to be hyper attuned to every scintilla of a male persons' demeanour. Im sorry the op felt anxious but I cant empathise with her ..sympathise maybe. It must be restricting and frustrating to live with that level of fear. Again, I don't think k anyone is disagreeing with the general point that in some situations its reasonable for many women to feel vulnerable and for males to adapt slightly for that. But I don't think they should be expected to alter their plan, behaviour, route or anything else anytime a woman is in the vicinity.