All men should be aware of this

Yes, the behaviour of men has to change, but its not the behaviour of "normal" men that needs to be changed, is it? its the behaviour of the misogynistic, psychopathic scum who, frankly, are going to grab you in the woods and you're not going to have much say in the matter. MN may not like hearing it but most men aren't like that. A simple walk sounds very stressful if this worries you all the time.

No wonder we don’t get taken seriously are called dramatic. He was walking, you’re the one who turned around and got up close behind him.

To be honest I don’t fear all men, I often walk through a particular alleyway on the way home late at night and often pass different men and quite honestly some of them look more nervous than me. You can’t live in fear when it is still not common for people to suffer violence. It happens of course and when it does it makes the news and it can seem like it happening all over the place. but we can’t live in expectation that passing a man on a path will inevitably lead to something awful.

I get what you're saying but I think your scenario wasn't the right one to explain it because you actually ended up following him. I often tell my dh to be aware of a woman walking alone at night if he's walking behind them and to cross road or hang back a bit because they might be nervous.

Yes but what lesson are men supposed to take from this incident? Don't have long hair? Don't walk several paces ahead of a woman? Don't get anything out of your backpack without checking for women?

And the OP is too anxious to even walk in the woods, which suggests maybe she's always dialled up to eleven when it comes to threat detection.

This post is exactly the reason I tell my 25 year old gay son to avoid women! Whatever you do if it's innocent behaviour or even stopping to help what we have brought him up to believe a lady you will be in the wrong. Don't look, don't stop and don't help ( and that ladies and gentlemen is now called misandry was once called sexual harassment. Welcome to 2026!

Stop playing the victim. You turned round and started following him. He probably thought why is this weird woman following me so he stopped in the hope you’d bugger off

This is not true. Humans get it wrong all the time. Plenty of evidence of this, and plenty of evidence that people are abused by those whom they trust the most. You are the gaslighter.

He opened a backpack what next take a sip of water where will it end

You stopped, changed direction and followed him. Strange behaviour given he didnt do anything other than walk past you. What did you want him to do? Disappear?

Men can be creepy but if you're too scared to walk by yourself in the daylight and someone stopping to get something out of their bag gives you the terrors, I think maybe you need to get a bit braver.

I would be so unhappy if I believed I couldn't walk alone in the woods.

@oviraptor21
The OP passed the man going in opposite direction! at no point was he following her, she turned and followed him!
This is unhinged this level of suspicion and fear, he wasn’t bothered by OP, she’s the one making something out of nothing.

Well yes men should be aware of intimidating behaviour, and not cause women distress, but I see nothing in your OP to indicate he did anything wrong?

He opened a backpack? That’s it?

All this “men should cross the road” blah blah blah brigade need to realise that women are just as capable of doing these things. As a woman and a survivor (I hate this word) of both SA and grooming I get it people can be scary but we can also take matters into our into our own hands and swerve if we feel uncomfortable. Awareness doesn’t jus apply to men, and honestly I hope most of us aren’t constantly checking out everyone around us.

This man did nothing wrong, maybe you felt uncomfortable because you thought he was a woman but were startled because he was a man. Maybe he could have kept going, but if I need something from my backpack I’m not looking around to see if anyone’s around me to make sure they are definitely comfortable with me doing something.

But OP I also get it, spider senses can be hard to shake off and I hope you’re calmer now after the encounter.

Sorry OP I do understand and agree with the broader point that its possible to feel suddenly and inexplicably frightened of male behaviour.. but this this bloke really did nothing wrong as far as I can tell.

He stopped and got something out of his bag. It probably didn't cross his mind that this would unsettle you. It wouldn't have crossed my mind to think a man was up to anything because he stopped to get something out of his bag and I don't think he should have been on notice to self-police because there was a woman around.

With all kindness this degree of anxiety is unusual.

Your fearfulness about the guy opening his bag seems extreme to me, @mildlysweaty , so does your claim that you never go into the woods alone because you are female.

I recommend that you start going 'fully into the woods'. I think that the avoidance behaviour that you are stuck in is reinforcing and magnifying your fear in the manner that CBT reveals and tries to unpick.

I regularly walk in local woodland. Avoiding it because of the mere possibility of being attacked by a man seems about as sensible as refusing to cross roads because of the possibility of getting hit by a car.

If this doesn't happen to you all the time (which you said wasn't the case) I think you are probably right that something was dodgy about him and that he might have had bad intentions but then thought better of it.
I'm not paranoid at all and I think most people (including men) are pretty decent so the rare times I do get a creepy feeling I tend to listen to it. Something was off with him stopping to (pretend?) look in his backpack. Happy you got home safely.

Sorry, what exactly did he do wrong? You were very rightly on your guard as a lone woman, but that doesn't make him guilty of anything.

Totally unreasonable!

"I was a few feet behind him "

She didn't keep her distance though

I think you’re being unreasonable. Regardless of this man’s creepiness you’re arguing that all men should be aware of the potential to unnerve lone women. So a perfectly normal man shouldn’t be able to stop to retrieve a phone / flask / bar of chocolate from his bag if there’s a woman walking behind him. I think that’s an unreasonable restriction.

Increasing comfort in the moment is quite helpful for a frightened women though?

I think I feel like it doesn't really help though. Kind of like 'cross the road if you're behind a woman at night'. It might increase your comfort in the moment but it doesn't really address any of the actual male violence against women's and girls.

Lot of gaslighting going on in this thread. Humans are hardwired to detect danger. Anxiety and threat detection is important for survival. Sometimes we get it wrong, but we have evolved to have “better to be wrong than dead” instincts.

These threat appraisals often go out outside of conscious awareness (or they begin there). Gut feelings are often based on something real and should always be listened to. We often get it right. If most women are honest with themselves they have had an experience before when they could just tell something was “off” about a situation with a man they didn’t know